July 21st, 2008
Today I experienced a phenomenon that had yet to happen in my short life. For years I've been searching, wandering aimlessly in hopes that a true soul mate would enter my life and bring me unconditional happiness. Yet, up until this point I've been left empty hearted and lonely. Until today. This day. This magical God graced day! My eyes glanced...and within only a moment, my luck had changed. For there...was she. Given to me not only by Thee Ted Smith and Ben the Psycho Muppet, but by the gods of love, as well. Her name is Pamela. And she is my love. Next year, if her aspirations become a reality, she'll become a KISW Rock Girl. Here are some photos of my adoring love and me.
July 16th, 2008
The search for Leonard is an exhaustive one. And now, we've taken upon ourselves the unfortunate duty to search for missing Black Hawk Helecopter the crashed last week due, allegedly, to the toxic emissions from Leonard's contaminated butt crack and jaundice yellow toes. The Black Hawk disappeared without a trace. And Operation Eye In The Sky, God rest his soul, deserves a proper burial. Therefore, in my quest for justice, I've deployed my own personal watercraft to seek out the remains of this chopper that met it's untimely demise. The foul works of Leonard can never be underestimated.
July 15th, 2008
We have a bit of an issue with The Ted Smith. You see, any red blooded man with a pulse would jump at the opportunity that I've presented to "the other guy from The Men's Room", but Ted has reservations. I proposed to him, on air yesterday, that he sould accept the invitation to join me on the most VIP yacht at Seafair next weekend. It will be stocked with tan, drunk, twenty-something chicks in bikinis--and there won't be many guys. The owner of the boat inquired to me as to whether Ted would fit in, if he could handle the marathon of all day drinking in the sun, and whether, or not, he would scare away the pussy. Ted has taken it upon himself to look introspectively and "get back to me" on this issue. Would you need to "think" about it? I think he'll maintain, but the question is whether Ted thinks so. What should I do. "Hey, Ted, you're on the fricken' clock, Dude?" Geez Louise...
July 14th, 2008
You may have heard this Gangster who calls into the show named Jim Davis. He's the caretaker of Jimi Hendrix's childhood home which sits across the street from Jimi's memorial in Renton Highlands. Jim was kind enough to grant access to me when I had a hometown friend visit from Tampa. It's an honor to be able to take someone from out of town to the resting place of Jimi and even more of an honor to show them his childhood home. Afterall, he was the pioneer of Seattle rock music--all rock music to many. And here, I've posted the photo that my friend sent me that he embellished with some groovy colors as we were standing around the tombstone of Jimi's mother in the same cemetary. That's me on the far right.
July 10th, 2008
I chose the Foo Fighters. It was closer to the crib and I felt like gettin' AFTER it! Not to mention, I've still got Cruefest and Pain in the Grass at the White River Amphitheater later in the summer. And the Foos always play a blistering set--last night being no exception. In fact, Dave Grohl always tells stories of when he lived in Seattle. The best at Key Arena this time was how he and his buddy Ernie (now his guitar tech) spray painted Foo Fighters on the mural on the side of Tower Records. You see, it was of the new Michael Jackson album "His-story" and it stated with special guests Mariah Carey, Boyz to Men...and Dave and Ernie spray painted Foo Fighters. Then Dave posed for a photo from Ernie's polaroid camera. Then Ernie punked him by sliding the photo under the front door. It was 3 a.m. A week later, the photo was in a local magazine. Anyway, I took it upon myself to share the experience with you by taking some shots. I was on the floor and they had a catwalk leading to a circular stage toward the back. Dig it.
Oh, and I decided to throw in a photo of my hairdressers Pug in her Halloween costume for the hell of it...her name is Pepper.
July 9th, 2008
Today is a great day in the Pacific Northwest. This is the exact day that we wait for all winter long. And I'm not just referring to the weather. Yes, it's an elegant day with the temperature outside at a perfect 78 degrees. There's a light breeze that has cleared out any chance of clouds that may have hinted at blocking the magnificent sun. It's a blissful day, weather-wise. However, today, there's more. There is a choice of 2 major gatherings of which many of your bretheren Rockaholics will be attending. At the White River Amphitheater you have the Mayhem festival which promises to be a hard rockin' affair featuring Slipknot and Disturbed. At Key Arena the Foo Fighters, one of the greatest live bands in rock today, will be taking their genuine, honest approach to entertaining a massive crowd to the stage. Both are sure to be quality. It's a day of choices. You see, even if you choose to stay home and bask in the afternoon sun with an ice cold beer on your favorite chair, you still have made a choice. And that's juuuuuuust fine. (Thanks Neil Peart).
July 8th, 2008
The story of Leonard's toxic hairball has taken a further step in the danger that it imposes. A team of professionals are on the incident that may have caused the crash of the Black Hawk Helecopter. The pot is beginning to boil and, Leonard, the recipient of all this media attention, is surely to stand accused of a heinous violation when this all settles. Here's the message sent with this photo:
Update on Leonard's hairball. It has safely arrived at a undisclosed location for Haz Mat And DNA testing. It was flown from Fort Lewis and was escorted by three fighter jets and a stealth bomber. Upon completion of the testing it will be returned to Washington state and buried 200 feet below sea level at again a undisclosed location. For public safety it must be buried in a bunker with 16 foot think concrete walls. The hair ball will be safe and will be guarded 24-7 by military personel. At such a time that Leonard is ever captured his DNA could be matched to the hairball.
July 3rd, 2008
Happy Independence day, Gangsters and Gir's! The following is a letter sent to me from a Rockaholic named Pedro. This is serious as it pertains to the dangers of having Leonard, the missing link, on the loose.
Pedro has pass away... possibly the first fatality of the fearsome dreaded Leonard' funk disease.
The microscopic particles of ass sweat and toe fungus stuck in the nasal canal of Pedro. could have been the cause of death... we will see what the coroners report say's.
While shopping at the Safeway yesterday I came about this discussing hairball in the urinal at Safeway. I purchased a box of rubber gloves..And put three on each hand ...Then I went outside and got a long stick. I fished the nasty hairball out and had it incased in plastic. It is now being sent to the national DNA testing lab.
It was shipped in a two foot thick concrete box for safety… it could be deadly if it got into the wrong hands of a terrorist etc.…who knows what deadly virus could get loose. It is being guarded by the FBI and a team of undercover secret service guards.
The hairball is believed to have come from Leonard... Take note of the un-digested Salisbury steak and the corn pieces in the hair ball... should Leonard ever be captured the hair ball could be released for DNA matching, or if the pubic hair that was found gets DNA tested than a match could be made.
July 2nd, 2008
I just returned from vacation. I ventured down to Los Angeles because some Gangsters won a contest (10 Hugantic Ballers) to fly there on Virgin America and join me for a Dodgers game. It was one of the oddest games I've witnessed. The Angels threw a no hitter but lost the game 1-0. It was 2 errors back to back and then a sacrifice fly that allowed the game's only run to score. Anyway, we had a kick ass time, hammered numerous beers and pounded several Dodger Dogs during the outing. I brought sir Isaac Lime as my guest and attatched a photo of us at a house party in the Hollywood Hills as well as a photo of the field.
June 24th, 2008
We're all aware of my love for a certain entertainer in the world of music and it is with great disdain that I have to announce some very disappointing news. It pains me greatly to speak of the severe loss that I've experienced upon reading this news and I found it extremely important to share with you, just in case you had plans to attend his Seattle show. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best. I'm going to cry now.
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Bad Karma? Boy George Banned in the USA
06/23/2008 8:32 AM, E! Online
Call it tit for tat: Fresh off of the U.K.'s denial of entry to Martha Stewart, the U.S. has banned Boy George from its shores.
Somehow, it doesn't quite feel like a fair trade.
The "Karma Chameleon" purveyor has been refused a visa for the U.S. leg of his summer tour, which was to include a special performance for his former colleagues at New York's Department of Sanitation, over complications arising from the singer's criminal past and pending his London trial this November.
If they really wanted to hurt him, it's a job well done.
George's rep said the singer was "devastated" he would not be able to play in the States for what would have been the first time in a decade, but that his legal team is working hard to get clearance for the '80s icon to convince officials for a do-over decision.
"George is astounded at the decision and is having lawyers here in the States look at it in the hope that someone will change their mind," the singer's management said in a statement. "George has not been convicted of anything in London and there is a presumption in the Western World of innocence until proven guilty."
The singer, whose full name is George O'Dowd, pleaded not guilty in February to falsely imprisoning a male escort, who claims the star chained him to a wall in the singer's London apartment. He was released on bail pending this fall's trial.
"He is clearly not considered any form of risk," his management said. "George really would love to come to America and repay his American fans' loyalty, and that is why we are asking the U.S. authorities to reconsider their decision."
June 23rd, 2008
Last Thursday I was scheduled to host the Big Baller's First Grab for tickets to Pain in the Grass 2008 at Sharkeys Pub in Sumner. Well, on the way to the gig, I experienced a bit of a bumpy while rollin' down the I-5 corridor. I said to Sir Isaac Lime, who happened to be in my rig with me, "Gee Isaac, this road sure is bumpy." To which he relied, "Unusually, indeed." It was right about that time that we realized that I had a flat tire. Great. I've got a gig and I'm going to be late. So, I waste no time in pulling over and dismantling my custom stereo cabinet to be able to reach the spare tire, only to find that somewhere in the installation process, my jack had been jacked! There was a crobar, a lug nut screw, but no jack. Suddenly, look who pulls up behind us, but Johnny Lawficer. Who surprised us by offering to change the tire for me after he brought out his own jack! So, for this fantastic service, I have to throw hunormous props out to the Washington State Patrol, especially an officer named George, who helped me get to the gig faster and with much cleaner hands. Big Ups!
This is a photo of an old banana that someone threw out of their car. Ss you can see, it is not fresh.
June 19th, 2008
I'm worried. Very worried. It has come to my attention that Leonard may be having more of an impact on people than we first imagined. Certainly, we never expected for Leonard to become the pop culture phenomenon that he has grown to be in his present existence, but now I fear that people may be easily influenced by his celebrity and overlook the dangers that this toxic avenger poses. Should Leonard's well being become such a hot issue to the public, he may eventually be seen as a representative that stands for a cause that people deem relevant and we may run into serious political ramifications once we capture him. Not that we're already going to have to battle with members of the SPCA, but revolutionaries, too? This is turning into a situation that could explode into a bonfire of the vanities! I've included an example of one of Leonard's many influences.
June 18th, 2008
Pearl Jam has been playing some shows as of late and, most unfortunately, none are in the Pacific Northwest. So, as you may know, I'm from Tampa, Florida. Where they just played a show on the 13th. Of course, all my buddies were there and one, Mark Gonzalez (a great mother f***er), had the courtesy of brotherhood to send me a photo he took of Eddie up close. I decided to use this blog entry to share that photo with you and post the set list, as well. If we can't be there, it's nice to know we've got someone who's keeping us in mind.
| Set 1 |
Sometimes, Corduroy, Why Go, Severed Hand, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Marker In The Sand, Light Years, Down, Wishlist, Given To Fly, Daughter, Even Flow, Present Tense, Insignificance, Better Man, Do The Evolution |
| Encore 1 |
Nothingman, Black, Life Wasted, Porch |
| Encore 2 |
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away, Alive, Yellow Ledbetter |
June 11th, 2008
What you are about to see is disturbing. If you are faint of heart, or have a weak stomach, I urge you to click out of this page immediately and return tomorrow. What you are about to witness is necessary for those interested in the safety of this countr...planet. With the most recent developements in the search for the missing link, aka Leonard, all safety measures have to be practiced and every potential hazard must be taken into account. If we are to locate and sequester this public nuissance, we should keep in mind that the loss of life is not necessary. If left to the professionals, we should have success in this matter and the culprit at hand will be quarantined and kept out of harms way for the general pubic...I mean public. However, it is imperative that we're are aware of what it is we are dealing. And the following photograph is an example of the magnitude of danger which this potentially radioactive threat poses. Should this poisonous creature escape from West Seattle, well, we can only imagine the amount of toxicity that will be leaked into the environment. The following is a photograph of the jaundice yellow toenails and oyster shell feet of Leonard, the missing link. This is NOT a dramatization!
June 5th, 2008
Last night was the Rock Girl Gala and it served as a precurser to the Pudding wrestling championship between Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady with Tinkerbee against the Rock Angel and The Monica Hater. This was totally unexpected. You see, Monica had announced that she wouldn't be attending the Gala. However, when she showed up, it was the perfect opportunity to become familiarized with her tag team partner. The two quickly became friends and vowed to wow the crowd. Here is a picture of Tinkerbee. Get a good look now, because next time there will be massive amounts of pudding involved. Oh, and I almost forgot, NAKED PICTURES OF MONICA ARE SOON TO FOLLOW!
June 4th, 2008
The search continues. These graphic photographs were snapped by a professional private investigator who thought he had taken pictures of Leonard, only to find that the subject was not hairy enough, or smelly enough. This is obvious because of the lack of fumes exhausting from the buttocks and foot area.
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June 3rd, 2008
As we prepare ourselves for the Rock Girl Gala tomorrow, our focus on our most important task at hand has not wavered. Just as the FBI has posted police sketches of what the missing link, aka Leonard, may appear to look like, I have taken the task of providing a similar service. For anyone with an ounce of curiosity, here is a potential body double that may aid you in this search when combing the frozen freezer isle of safeway, or ordering two tacos for 99 cents at Jack in the Box.
June 2nd, 2008
I have some disturbing news to report. You may have heard last friday that the Black Hawk Helecopter that was seeking a photograph of Leonard did, in fact, have great fortune in the search for the missing link. They had their sights narrowed in on the West Seattle region of the Jack in the Box near the Safeway on 41st and California Avenue, when a breakthrough was discovered. What they thought was a Bear rummaging through the garbage turned out to instead be, none other than, Leonard! Immediately, they prepared their ropes and readied to repel onto the street with the regular caller who has his sign that reads FREE HUGS under one arm and his boombox under the other with a CD of Creed's "With Arms Wide Open". His dream, of course, is to give Leonard a Big Sexy man hug. Unfortunately, just as they pulled their infra-red cameras from the case, the toxic emisions from leonards feet and ass and breath and underarms began to foul the air filters and the Black Hawk went immediately into SOS mode. And that was the last we heard from them. They haven't been heard from since, but one photograph was taken and it is posted here. We can only hope for the best at this point. One thing's for certain, the rare opportunity of a photograph of Leonard, the missing link, was lost.
May 29th, 2008
We have a new inductee into the crazy world of Reality Radio. Of course, you and I are both aware that there has been a battle of words brewing for some days now between Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady, Tinkerbee and the Rock Angel. However, yesterday, a caller who we gave the name Monica Hater to, expressed her dislike for the person herein described. She announced that she would join the Rock Angel in the kiddie pool for the tag team Pudding Wrestling Championship to take place at Key Arena. Then, today, Monica retaliated by calling her boring and fat. Well, Monica Hater, not one to be outdone, sent her picture in today with a note for the Rubber Chicken Vixen. And I posted it here for you to view with the accompanying message.
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This is Tera, aka monica hater! Wtf is wrong with that bitch and her irrational fear of that chicken! Tell her to bring it!
May 28th, 2008
Once again, the missing link, also known as Leonard, has led us astray with one of his cunning diversions. There was the Caped Crusader, hot on his tracks. The DNA evidence that he found on the floor of the frozen freezer isle of Safeway was proven to be some leftovers from Jack in the Box that had passed through a human digestive tract. However, as you can see from this photo, Leonard was actually in Taco Bell at the time that the Caped Crusader had a rendvous with Operation Eye In The Sky to repell down from the Black Hawk Helecopter and get the elusive photograph of this strange, Salisbury Steak eating species. His tactics are that of a seasoned escape artist much like Houdini and the Birdman from Alcatraz.
May 27th, 2008
As a true Hugantic Player, a Gangster who always takes the consideration of his Broskies into account when the issue of Baby Gir's comes about, it is my distinct pleasure to share a few experiences with you. Certainly, you've heard Rock Girl Finalists on my show the past week, or so, but you wonder what they look like outside of the canned photo shown on our website. So, it is my joy to show you the photographs that have been taken upon our unwanted parting. It's all good, my loss is your gain. They'll be in attendance for you to see for yourself at the Gala next wednesday.
May 21st, 2008
It was only moments ago that I entertained my first Rock Girl Finalist on the air and, to say the least, I'm quite impressed with the first pass through the studio. So much so, that I came immediately to my computer to record these emotions of which I presently write. What a temptress. Her name is Cassandra and I'm keeping my fingers crossed in a minor attempt to add to the positivity that could possibly help in her quest to become a representation for this world class rock station. She had great ass.....ets. You know, like she was cool as hell, a rockin' body and long, flowing hair. A former Hooters girl. so to see her and the remainders that will be popping up on the air for the next week, or so, head to KISW.com to get in on the action. And then we'll see you at the 2008 Rock Girl Gala!
May 19th, 2008
What a great weekend. Sunny, hot, kickballs everywhere. In fact, the Trash Hauler called in today as he was driving a big rig complaining that he wasn't in a good mood because the Trashy got a little too sunburned from being out in the boat fishing. Trash Hauler announced that he felt all prickly and itchy and he wasn't in a good mood because of this inconvenient nuisance. Well, this all outlines one fact. That there is now a white line around the Trash Hauler's neck from the area that the necklace covered. The necklace that holds the ring with the elvish inscription. You see, the Trash Hauler is the protector of the ring for the well being for all of us. And the elements, be them rain, snow, or extreme sun, will never cause the Trash Hauler to deter from his mission. Let's give it up for the TRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH HAAAAUUUUUULLLLLEEEERRRR!!!!!!!
May 15th, 2008
You may have heard that I'm playing a role in a movie. It's an independent film being shot in and around the Mt. Vernon area. The storyline involves a conflict of the most prominent group of vampires and how they intend to solidify the existence of their kind. I play a guy named Gardner who gets made into one of them and is at odds about whether, or not, he is content with his new transformation. He will, eventually, have to choose sides and he misses his human ways of chasing women and getting hammered. The film is directed by an up and coming, very talented local actor named Shawn Cain and nearly the entire cast was flown in from Los Angeles. I'll post some pictures soon to give you an inside look of the cast and sets of this indie film that is scheduled for a Halloween release. In the meantime, you can find it on myspace at www.myspace.com/lovedonesfilm. Happy hunting!
May 14th, 2008
A new, very important developement in the automobile accident of South African Max. It has been reported by the driver of the vehicle himself, South African Max, that the reason for his accident was due to the fact that he had to make a split second swerve to avoid hitting a very large animal that had been crossing the road. He accounts that the type of animal was very difficult to make out in his headlights, but that it did drop some feces due to the surprise of the possiblity that it may be hit by a speeding car. Upon investigation by the Caped Crusader, it has been determined that those droppings were remnants of Frozen Salisbury Steak, Gravy, macaroni and cheese, and apple cobbler. One onlooker did happen to snap a photograph of a very suspicious person lurking around the wrecked vehicle. If you have any leads on who this mysterious subject might be, please contact South African Max.
May 13th, 2008
This is my favorite time of year. Not only is summer just around the corner, but everything that is forthcoming with the summer months exemplifies how we like to live our lives. Warmth, sunshine and chicks. And we're not fools. We have a kick ass radio station. We're gonna use it to our advantage and, of course, share with our friends. So we incorporate the hottest baby gir's we can find in the pacific northwest and bring them to all of our events for you to get to know. It's paramount, though, that we find the right ones. And for that, we call out to you. We need for you to inform us which chicks you want to get to know better. We've got an assload of their pictures posted at www.KISW.com, so go vote now and let's get AFTER it at the Rock Girl Gala, Gangster!
May 12th, 2008
I'd like to introduce you to one of my most frequent callers, South African Max. You see, South African Max was a junior in high school last year and left for a semester in South Africa to study abroad. He would call High Noon on a regular basis to take an exhausting bong hit from his dormatory at around 10pm in Whereverthefuck, South Africa. Then South African Max returned home and was most recently seen attending my April 20th gathering at Jimi's Memorial. He was the one that showed up with a Hooka and some opium burning in it. Last week, South African Max called in from the quad at his high school while blazing on acid. Today, he called to inform me, from the Indiana Jones pinball game there on campus, to tell me of the unfortunate happenings over the weekend. You see, South African Max, a very scrawny, pimple faced, extremely white young man, had a slight mishap in his vehicle. I get the feeling that South African Max will not live a long life.
May, 8th 2008
Well, it seems as if we're being toyed with. After many different accounts of being told that he has no interest in being on the Price is Right, Leonard has been spotted (allegedly) at an actual taping of said show. It certainly does make sense, though, since Leonard has repeatedly voiced his displeasure of Drew Carey taking over his favorite television show. As you can see here, this picture shows the Missing Link in action, hazing Drew from the front row. One thing is for certain, we can not underestimate the cunning wit of this species that has repeatedly deterred our efforts to locate him.
May 7th, 2008
Big ups to the Gangster who represented at the Pyramid Ale House last weekend as my Big Baller , Kevin O'Keefe won a contest to pour his own brew on site. The brew was a fantastic Pale Wheat and according to the brewmaster, should be on tap soon at the Ale House. As you can see, the Rubber Chicken was in the area...but where was Leonard. No one knows......
May 6th, 2008
People have often asked me who my idols are in life. And I can attest to having many. In fact, if I had to choose one, I don't think I could. My moods and championshipisms change on a regular basis. Therefore, it's pretty evident that the people in show business that I idolize are rarely the same from day to day. And the decision can only be made at the specific time that the question is asked of me. And at this precise moment, it's Arnold from Different Strokes.
May 5th, 2008
So, Friday, we received our quarterly ratings for the Seattle market and I'm glad to announce that KISW had a huge day! Everyone around this place made a few extra bucks, so out we went for a night on the town compliments of Sgt. Hairclub. And needless to say, we got AFTER it. I mean, it was a decent get together with a few cocktails going down in a somewhat mild atmosphere. That is, until the Men's Room arrived. Of course, at that time, the party got elevated to a whole new level. We raged. And then I slipped out at about 10 o'clock because my Gangster, Steve Venom, was departing on a booze cruise with 120 chicks and 75 guys out of Lake Union. I couldn't pass up the opportunity, so I drove with one eye closed to the departure point and proceeded to get AFTER it. Eventually, the booze was dried up and from that point on, I don't really remember how I got there, but I did end up in some bedroom in Shoreline with a couple Baby Gir's. So, if anyone's seen a pair of black Calvin Klein underwear, please send them to the station because I didn't stick around to look for them.
May 1st, 2008
You didn't know I was a business entreprenuer, did you. Well, a convenient store in the midwest thought it would be beneficial for their chain of stores to give them a good gangster name. They thought about all the Hugantic Ballers in the world. They hammed and hawed about the most prospective name that would ensure massive success, bringing people from around the globe for the Ginormous Gangster benefits that would befit them in accordance to their most accomodating franchises. And after very little consideration, the choice was obvious.
April 30th, 2008
I almost forgot to tell you about one of the dopest events I've attended in a long time. I mean, I've never been to a Monster Truck event, a Drag Racing event, a Stockcar racing event, etc... Saturday, however, I checked out the Supercross live from Qwest Field. And I wasn't quite sure what made it so super until the final race which went down in the history books as one of the best ever. In fact, one of my close Gangsters, Todd Carlson, who works at Car Toys at Southcenter Mall, races supercross and confirmed that it was one of the top ten races he'd ever seen. He even raced in one of the warm up races that night--said it was a very difficult track. I'm a little closer to becoming an avid fan of motorsports now after that beer drinking, kickball viewing night in the cool Seattle air.
April 29th, 2008
A person's birthday is a special day. That's why one should spend it with family and friends. I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive because not only do I get to spend it with these select people, but also with my friends on the other side of the radio transmitter. 100,000 plus. Thanks for being there on this kick ass day.
Ricker, Mouse, Sticky Icky Ed, my cousin Robert, Big Reg, Nowhere Man, Trucker (cougwear)
April 28th, 2008
This is a very important time in the history of this country. Decisions that are made now will have a resounding effect on the future of this great homeland we so fervently love, the United States of America. That's why I urge you all to not only vote, but vote with a clean conscience. Vote with your heart. It's not the issues of health care and foreign affairs that are so important during this time of economic uncertainty, but the issues of happiness and culture. That's why I endorse Sticky Icky Ed for President of the United States of America. Sticky Icky Ed promises that no bread box will go without a bag of chronic and that no bud will be clipped before it's time. These are staples to a sound campaign. It's time for a change. It's time for Sticky Icky Ed.
April 24th, 2008
We have new evidence on the possible whereabouts of Leonard. I received a call today from the Caped Crusader who has been integral in this investigation. He has confirmed that, indeed, as predicted, there has been a pubic hair recovered from the checkout counter at the Safeway grocery store located on 41st and California ave. It was there that Leonard ALLEGEDLY read a National Enquirer magazine with the interest of getting ideas of how to disguise his identity by seeing pictures of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. As we all know, Leonard has a rip in his jeans, so this exposure is what allowed the hair from the pubic region to escape his body onto the floor. It is the Caped Crusader's intention to match this DNA to that from the sample of gravy that passed through the human digestive system that was found on the frozen freezer isle floor of that same store in hopes that the 2 correlate. If so, we could have confirmation that Leonard was purchasing Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners at a specified time and this will help us deduce which section of film to break down from the surveillance cameras that have been put into place. This, as you can see, is serious work. No one ever said it would be easy to uncover the identity of...The Missing Link.
April 23rd, 2008
Well, while you were watching the NBA basketball playoffs on sunday, I was hanging with many a Gangster and Gir'. And for your viewing pleasure, the final installment of many of the people as seen through the camera lense with me on the inside of it, capturing an element of one's personality in a mere second...
Topshelf! The Way High Window Guy!
Ben from the Quah and the Way Low Window Guy,
April 22nd, 2008
You'll have to excuse me, I'm still a little buzzed from the 420 celebration. In fact, I was so lit up that I borrowed the camera from the Way Low Window Guy to commemorate the experience through my own eyes. The vision that I undertook is shown before you like an art gallery display, each person's personality shown through the shutter of a moment's capture. Keep in mind, everyone is ripped. I'll post the final pictures tomorrow!
What's he listening to?
(from left) Sticky Icky Ed, Seeing Eye Dustin, Blind Melon Chitlan, Me, Topshelf
Rich the Gardener
April 21st, 2008
Yesterday was the day. The sacred day of unity and true celebration of the alternative culture of marijuana. For those of you that are confused, 420 is the international code number for firing up the chronic. And April 20th is the day on which all involved celebrate the ceremonious communion. And the minute of 4:20 is the sacrimonious time. In the following photo, you'll see that this momentous occasion was practiced with many Gangsters and Baby Gir's as I hosted the event for the 2nd straight year at Jimi Hendrix' memorial in Renton Highlands. If you'd like to see last year's gathering, just scroll down a very long way. Otherwise, you'll see similarities to this years group photo, just about twice as many people. More to come in tomorrow's blog entry!
April 17th, 2008
Well, we certainly do have the right man for the job. I mean, as if he's not busy enough fighting crime in and around your neighborhoods, but our hero is hot on the tracks of the Missing Link. Otherwise known as Leonard. And I do mean HOT on the tracks as, it seems, Leonard has left behind some hot tracks of his own. It was this evidence of some spilled gravy on the floor of the frozen freezer isle at Safeway that has been photographed and recovered by none other than...The Caped Crusader. He has taken the evidence and put it through an intense evaluation system. And the results are alarming. This patch of spewed gravy did, indeed, pass through a human digestive tract before being drizzled onto this most unfortunate floor. And I think we all know who the culprit is...
April 16th, 2008
Many of you heard today on the air that Leonard is becoming more and more agitated with the prospect of his discovery. What else would one expect from The Missing Link. Considering that it could have been 40 years since anyone recognized him and that he could come from a long heritage of these species that have yet to be discovered, it is to be expected. The anonymity of this elusive creature, however, is soon to come to an abrupt stop as Leonard's identity will almost certainly be revealed. In fact, today, the Caped Crusader called in with an account of a potential sighting at the Safeway store located on 41st and California in West Seattle. And here is the result of his perfectly positioned surveillance camera.
April 15th, 2008
Everyone that listens to my show knows that I have a certain appreciation for a specific species that roams the terrain, looking to feast on the flesh of a younger man in is twenties, or early thirties. This species of wild animal is notorious for several features that separate it from others amongst the competition. These features are easy to assertain as this animal is not shy about exposing it's true nature. Some of the features consist of a stretched face like the characters in the Soundgarden Black Hole Sun video as well as collogen lips, a fake tan, a big diamond ring on the left finger, and a $350 hair style. Also, the species makes a particularly, unmistakable sound. This species is a COUGAR..........RRRRWWWWWAAAAAAAWWRRRRR!!!!!
http://video.aol.com/video/tv-the-cougar-den-saturday-night-live/2105888
April 14th, 2008
Today is a great day. I mean every day is a great day if you're happy to just be alive, but some days tower over other days for the mere fact that something ginormous is happening. And today, something ginormous is definately taking place. You see, today is the offical kick off of Two Legged Dear Hunting Season. Ah, well, I see you are confused. Let me simplify this for you. Today is the day that we officially kicked off the KISW Rock Girl Search. Yes. And I have attatched a photo of a baby gir' I ran into saturday night in a club who announced her desire to be a KISW Rock Girl. Her name is jen. Good luck, Jen. By the way, I'm hammered in this photo after a long day of snowboarding. I should have already been in bed, but you know how it is...
April 10th, 2008
It seems that yesterday's post has helped us make some progress in this important search for the missing link. Immediately, we've had possible leads of IT'S whereabouts. No clue, or lead, can ever be determined as eroneous when such an elusive entity is at large. In fact, this photo posted here is evidence that, even if this isn't Leonard, he is having a major influence on the amount of Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners bought from Safeway.
April 9th, 2008
The elusive qualities of the missing link can never be underestimated. We have tried arduously to track down the animal known as the "Leonard", but to no avail. The search has led us to a very frustrated place where now a bit of desperation is beginning to become apparent. Which has led us to explore many different avenues that we may have previously overlooked. The next step in this process is to distribute flyers, post wanted signs on telephone poles and we've even created a design to print on t-shirts that we plan on giving out at a local "where's Leonard" fundraiser to help pay for the costs of a private investigator. I've taken the liberty to show you the design for the t-shirt here. We appreciate any leads can send our way.
April 8th, 2008
This entry is for anyone who ever believed that Monica the Rubber Chicken Lady was a fake. It was at the Mariners opening day broadcast that Glen the Toolbox from the BJ Shea Morning Experience videotaped this excerpt of Monica doing her thing. You'll see, first hand, that there is no faking whatsoever. She does, indeed, nearly have an orgasm when she hears loud noises.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNiVGiicbNE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5CxdRaBwgU
April 7, 2008
I write this entry with a massive infliction. The infliction, was indeed, self induced. So I blame no one, but myself, for the pain and suffering I have incurred on this monday. For this past weekend, Las Vegas, Nevada, was my place of unrest. And I have the pictures to prove it. So I shall let them do the talking because, God knows, I'm in no shape to instead write the 1,000 words. Now, where the hell did I leave my camera...hmmm.
April 3rd, 2008
Monday was opening day of Mariner's baseball and we threw quite a rager at the pyramid alehouse and brewery. It's always fun to get AFTER it with my Gangsters on site and all the pictures are posted at KISW.com if you wanna see what you missed. However, two of the elusive photos that didn't make it cam from my personal camera and I've taken the liberty to include them here for your private viewing. One is of the Way High Window guy doing what he does best, which is displaying his voyeuristic tendencies on Monica The Rubber Chicken Lady's big, fat, giant, juicy, jiggly Kickballs. The other is Sir Isaac Lime with the president of the Sir Isaac Lime Fan Club. Enjoy!
March 27th, 2008
sometimes, I like to share letters from my listeners. Especially, when they have great ideas that pertain to the show.
Hey Ricker,
2 things. It would be fun to do Extreme Makeover The Leonard edition. Go over to his palce, hook him up with a new sound system, new TV, New furniture, bed, maybe some sheets and a freezer full of frozen Salisbury steaks.
I've attatched, yet, another potential sighting of what could be Leonard, however, I find this photo suspect as the subject seems much younger, and nubile, than a 45 year old man.
March 26th, 2008
The Buffalo Theory - In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
March 25th, 2008
The story continues.... After your boy got AFTER some surf in the Cruz, my Home Skillets and I championed the city of San Fran and got AFTER it on saturday night. Sunday was designated a day of curing a hangover, but the hotel wouldn't give us a late checkout as late as we wanted, so we were slung out onto the streets. Making the best of it, though, as you'll see from the accompanying photos, sightseeing seemed a much better call then holing up in some strange bar. It was a beautiful day at the Golden Gate Bridge, but as we celebrated 4:20 at a drum circle in golden Gate Park, we'd realized that making our way around the city was the better call.
March 24th, 2008
Another kick ass weekend I did have. Indeed. Oh yes, indeed. Indeed, I did...alright enough of the crap, let's get to the facts. I did a testimonial (commercial) for Virgin America airlines and they gave me a free round trip to San Francisco for the weekend. So, once upon arrival, I jetted straight for Santa Cruz where my 2 best friends from back home in Pensacola happen to, coincidentally, live. Now, you're asking yourself, "why in the hell did he do that when he could have gone to SF to get AFTER it?" Well, one simple answer. Surf. When you're raised in florida, that's what you do during the day if you don't fish, ride bulls, or drink. Well, strike the last one.
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March 20th, 2008
Last night, I had the pleasure of sitting courtside at the Seattle Supersonics game that had been a scheduled event for me for months. It was the final game for Ricker's Bangin' Night Out, a promotion that allowed my newest Gangster, James Sloboden of Puyallup, to view the game from the hardwood as he sat next to me and a baby gir'. Little did I know when I saw the Pheonix Suns on the schedule months ago, that Shaquille O'Neal would have been traded to the team before this game. And all I have to say is that, besides the Sonics Dance Team being stocked with some of the city's hottest baby gir's, Shaq is the biggest man I've ever seen. Bar None. I've stood next to NFL players in their prime, MLB players in their prime, and none of them compare to the monstrocity that is Shaq. That dudes feet were the size of my legs, Man. He's Burl Ives. The game was even pretty competetive for 3 quarters, too. And I got AFTER it at the bar with some ice, cold Jaegies. A good night at the key, indeed! But, damn, that is one sizey kid, Broskishskosh.
March 19th, 2008
We're getting hot on the tracks of the missing link! By now you're well aware that the cause for this radio show is to expose the world to the mystery that is the Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinner Connoisseur, Leonard. I believe the public has the right to know who this man of mystique is and what his appearance has taken the form of after years of dining only on these frozen confections. Indeed, we have many investigators on the job showing the tenacity and diligence of a community during an Amber Alert. We must get a picture of this man...potential beast. And a few more possible sightings have reached this office. Here are the results we've received recently from this search.
March 18th, 2008
This one's for the Workin' man! I know all you responsible, ass busters are out there bustin' your hump to make that paper, and you don't always get the recognition you deserve. I know how it is. I labored for years, Man. I've done some very undesireable jobs in my day and most of them are thankless. Especially when your boss is a prick and he deems it necessary to take his problem with getting sufficient ass out on you. You just wanna say, "get laid, Dude", but you know he won't take it very well, so you refrain. Work kinda sucks. You get up at the crack of dawn only to go drive your back into the ground and all you get when you get home is a bunch of bitchin. You don't get paid what you deserve--it's a never ending story. So, I just want you to know that this one individual who does a radio show knows what it's about and has a massive amount of admiration for you. Keep it up, Gangster. Your reward will be coming your way soon. World.
March 17th, 2008
Happy St. Patricks day, Hugantic Ballers! I love the holiday because I love my ass a good party. Not to mention, the Irish are the one, if not the only, nationality at which you can still poke fun and not be accused of being politically incorrect. Not even by the Irish themselves. I mean, I wouldn't say anything to the red faced, loud mouthed, beligerantly drunk Irish guy down the bar from you, but you get what I'm saying. Basically, I can play Irish Enchilada calls all day and not get my ass kicked by a lynch mob when I leave the radio station. The only complaint I have today is this; which drunk ass Irish alchoholic decided to have St. Patty's day on a Monday this year. Way to go Genius! Like I'm feeling just dried out and healthy after a bangin' weekend. Geez Louise. By the way, I'm Irish. Haaaaaaaaarsh...and I will rally!
March 13th, 2008
Everybody loves to hang out with someone famous. I guess. I mean, I hang out with Walter Kelley from Q13 Fox News at 10 and I think it's very cool. He gets recognized everywhere we go and no one knows who I am. He's on tv and I'm on the radio. They see him. They hear me. It's when I open my mouth that causes ears to perk up. But it's fun to tell your friends that you hammed and hawed with someone of notoriety, right. Well, here's your chance. Go back to my page and sign up for Ricker's Bangin' Night Out and win a hip experience at Key Arena as we'll sit courtside like Jay Z and Beyonce for the Sonics game against the Pheonix Suns. Gangster style. Right next to the Sonics Dance Team...boooooooiiiiiiiiinnnnngggg!!! Walter Kelley not included. Thank God. That guy gets all the attention.
March 12th, 2008
The search for Leonard continues. Now, it seems, for now, he's discontinued his calls, most likely because he feels the pressure of the media bearing down on him. We are hot on his tracks and potential sightings have been popping up on a regular basis. People want to know who he is and what he looks like. The public demands it. I have attatched a picture of what could be a sighting of Leonard with the CEO of Banquet Frozen Dinners.
March 11th, 2008
Today is the first time we've heard from the Golem in several weeks and now we know why. He's been staying out of the public spotlight, conniving a plan to, once again, hold possession of the almighty ring. We all know that Trash Hauler holds the ring around his neck on a chain, and that Golem has been painstakingly attempting several plots to steal that powerful jewel. But his plans have not come to fruition. Not until now. It seems that he has devised the most engenius idea yet and has been implementing his strategy whilst our attention has been diverted to other things like the Rubber Chicken Lady and Leonard. Meanwhile, Trash Hauler has become weekened by the ring's powers as he tries to hold on. Even Vito No Sleevo seems to have been manipulated by the eveil powers of the ring in his overwhelming urge to squeeze as many giant, juicy, jiggly kickballs as possible. He's the head of Trash Hauler's security force and the Golem has had a keen eye on this sloppy operation. This does not all bode well for us. Take heed!
March 10th, 2008
This is for the Snow lovers. A classification into which I fall. You see, Saturday was suposed to be one of the greatest days of my life. If you ride, you know what I mean. My buddy, weatherman Walter Kelley from Q13 Fox News at Ten, and I, had a reservation with Cascade Powdercats to take the machines up to the fresh pow-pow for a day of virgin powder. Much to our dismay, rain fell instead of snow on friday night and our trip was cancelled. Oh............tragedy. What to do? Well, this is where hanging with a weatherman has it's advantages. Walter says, "you know the front was running a little south, which may have left some cool air coming off the south end of Mt. Ranier. And Crystal Mountain may have ended up with a little snow." That was all I needed to hear to save the day. We bolted straight for Enumclaw en route to Crystal where the staff hooked up with VIP style and we had the great luxury of testing out the brand new chair called Northway. The lifties were cool as hell as we celebrated high noon on a bluebird day. Kudos to Crystal Mountain! (Notice the Sick goggles from the good people at Anon and the sweet Lib Tech board from Extremely Board in Issaquah)
March 6th, 2008
The name is not Richter. It's that simple. Just as one caller today explained, some people, very possibly, believe there is an invisible "t" in the name just as there is an invisible "e" in the word "like". You see the "e", but you don't pronounce it. It's grammar. They don't see the "t", yet feel compelled to pronounce it anyway. I made it very clear to everyone listening. If you're going to mis-pronounce my name, at least do it with a degree of dignity and show some respect in an effort to make a meaningful statement. If it's not going to be Ricker and you're insistent on pronouncing it Richter, at least do me the honor of adding a "d" at the end. "Richter" is an insult. "Rick-Turd" is, indeed, a compliment.
March 5th, 2008
THIS IS A LETTER FROM A REAL KISW ROCKAHOLIC:
Hey Bro!
I think I got a glimpse of the elusive Leonard today! While scoping out a handful of Safeway stores with hidden cameras set up in the frozen food sections, I captured this image today that I thought a bit peculiar. It looked to be a figure wearing a greasy old wife beater pushing a cart full of stuff, (see picture "Safeway1"). After careful examination the figure looked to have something in their hand. I blew the image up and low and behold the image looks to be carrying a Banquet Dinner. Possibly a Salisbury steak dinner I have to wonder? (Picture "Safeway1_enlarged"). My excitement soon turned to wonderment as I decided to do a little surfing on the net. I ran across the third picture attached, ("Leonard") and see way too similarities with my Safeway photos. So this all brings up some very curious questions....
1). Have I captured a picture of the elusive Leonard in Safeway filling up on those scrumptious Salisbury Steak TV dinners?
2). Is it possible Bigfoot shops at Safeway and also enjoys those scrumptious Salisbury Steak TV dinners?
3). Could the elusive Leonard and Bigfoot be one in the same???
What you think Bro? Is it possible we have our first glimpse of the elusive Leonard here? Maybe posting this little story and pics might bring the beast out of hiding???
Keep up the good work Bro and Rock on!
Tim
YOU BE THE JUDGE...
March 4th, 2008
Monica hates Isaac
Another run in with Monica the Rubber chicken lady today. Man, her personality fluctuates like the clouds in the sky. One day she loves me like a bee loves a flower and then the next hates me like lightning to a steel pole. I can take it, trust me, I have thick skin. You have to in this business. However, today, she took a stab at Sir Isaac Lime and the entire continuing sage known as All My Otter Pops. Basicall, calling my baby ugly. Not that I mind, but I worry about that little green furry guy and how he'll handle the criticism. We'll have to find out when he calls in next for another edition of the ongoing daytime drama. World!
March 3rd, 2008
back from vacation
I'm back. And I have to be honest with you, I'm not all that thrilled, but who the hell is when they return from 80 degree weather. Seriously, yesterday, I sat poolside with a Bloody Mary overlooking the Tampa skyline, soaking up piercing rays of the sun on my lightly perspiring face and asked myself, "what the hell is so important about returning to Seattle to face the bitter cold?" Then a set of giant juicy jiggly kickballs went bouncing by and I pondered the question further. "I could easily liquidate my belongings and move to the beach, drink bloody mary's daily and turn into a golden brown, like I did before I moved to Seattle." And uickly, the answer came to me, just as it had many times before when i was about to return. It was simple. I work for the greatest rock station in the world with the greatest rock fans in the world. I love what I do. Fuck the weather, it's secondary to how I value my life and the people I surround myself with. And as I opened the microphone this morning for the first time in over a week, it was made even more obvious. I could do this job anywhere else, but it wouldn't be the same. That's a true statement.
February, 20th, 2008
A Star Is Born
We have a new character on the show that, as far as I know, no other show in America can rival. He's got talent America and his mane...er, I mean name, is Budward! Yes, this crooning canine and his friend, Mouse, have taken people's hearts by storm through the performance of music. It's very simple, Mouse blows his mouth harp and budward catches a note. And today, not only did Mouse grace the studio with ice cold Tropical (new flavors) Otter Pops, but he brought dear 'ol Budward in to share a ditty. And he did not fail to please. As Mouse kicked down that number, Budward just fell into the groove and yelped and hollered as if he were performing at the Grand Ole Opry. Hooray for Budward! By the way, he smelled like he's been on the tour bus without a shower for 3 weeks.
February 18th, 2008
Deaf Cat Dan has a gift for the Rock Angel. Oh yes. We all know of the envy that the Rock Angel carries for Monica, the Rubber Chicken Lady , for her ability to achieve orgasmic levels of joy from squeaky toys. Is there, however, a toy that can help the Rock Angel achieve these same great heights? Well, maybe. You see, Deaf Cat Dan, formerly known as Dead Bird Dan, is notorious for blowing off the Air Horn. And this could be the exact surprise that she needs. After all, he went to jail for causing the near death of a cat that was taking a blissful nap on his front porch when he surprised the poor animal with the air horn in it's unsuspecting ear. The cat's owner, Deaf Cat Dan's neighbor, came over swinging and had him incarcerated. So the question is, can Deaf Cat Dan now bring joy and happiness with the infamous Air Horn? We'll see, won't we?
February 13th, 2008
How can Leonard deny himslef the finer delicacies in life? People want to know what the guy looks like. They want to know what he's about. he has fans and they demand his presence. In fact, his most zealous fan, Nowhere Man, has made an offer that he can't refuse. Not only will this rabid Leo-maniac buy him 15 Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners and bring them to Legends (the only bar Leonard has been to in the past 4 years), but he'll sing Neon Knights at High Noon. Well, maybe there is a problem with this offer, but at least it's Neon Knights, Leonards favorite song? Come on Leonard, break the hibernation!
February 11th, 2008
Does Monica's reaction to squeaky toys have a residual effect on other listeners? This is a technical question that I've recently been asking myself. Is there a physiological reaction in some listeners due to the sounds that Monica The Rubber Chicken Lady releases during her exasperated response to the Rubber Chicken, the Rubber Alien, etc? And the reason this issue has come to light is due to the perceived envy displayed by one of my regular callers, the Rock Angel. She vehemently denies having any jealous feelings whatsoever about the good times that Monica seemingly experiences in her high pitched, breathless reaction, but it's pretty obvious to me that the Rock Angel wishes she could share the "love". Well, in my professional opinion, the Rock Angel could use a little bit of what Monica has, which is an unbridled sensation of reaching orgasm over the radio. Maybe if she could experience a portion of this fantastic feeling, she wouldn't be putting Monica down and could throw those anxiety pills in the garbage. Hell, I'm jealous!
February 6th, 2008
Very simply, Leonard is the subject of this blog entry. People want to know what he looks like. No one knows. He won't leave the house for any event other than to grocery shop with his dad for Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners. If he would disclose the location of the Safeway where he shops, then we'd possibly be able to set up a secret camera in the frozen food isle in the hopes of catching a photograph of him just as that "one dude" did when he spotted the Sasquatch. However, Leonard is even more elusive. Maybe we could track him like the Sasquatch, but no one has spotted any poop on the sidewalk in West Seattle. Yes, Leonard is truly a mystery, so I've taken it upon myself to attatch a photograph of what I think he may look like. Just add about 178 pounds.
February 4th, 2008
What a kick ass weekend it was! After a great day of powder at Stevens Pass, the New Originals played our first gig that was outside of a KISW event. Normally, we only come to the stage at the Holiday Hangover Ball, or the Rock girl Gala, but saturday night we got after it at a good ol' throw down bar. Steve the Thrill Hill, Steve Rock, Steve the Producer--insert bad Starbucks commercial here with the old Survivor song "Eye Of the Tiger"...Steve...Steve Steve Steve...Steve Steve Steve...Steve Steve Steeeeeeeve---Ryan Castle, Jolene, and everyone else played an hour set at Jules Maes in Georgetown to an explosive crowd. Needless to say, we rocked the joint hardcore. And then the Game. Are you kidding? The BJ Shea Morning Experience hosted the best Superbowl party in the city only to see the best game ever played on the worldwide stage. Topshelf's girlfriend was hammered showing her Big, Fat, Giant, Juicy, Jiggly Kickballs and my limo looked like it had hydraulics for about 20 minutes, if you know what I mean (insert image of Baby Gir' here). Why can't every weekend be that great?
January 31st, 2008
Last night was a weird one at the pass. I hammed and hawed all day about whether, or not, I should drive up to the Summit At Snoqualmie to do some night snowboarding. The clock was ticking and finally I just said, "The hell with it. I'm goin' up!" So I gathered my gear and hit it. No prob, right. Negative. The first run of the day, some guy who was barrelling down the hill out of control nearly took me out. I caught him out of the corner of my eye at the last split second, barely able to divert a major collision, but he clipped me with his board. My leg hurt like a bitch, on the front left shin, but I kept riding for three more runs. Finally, I said to myself, "Damn, I need to take a look at this leg." So, I went into the lodge and lifted up the leg of my pants, which had a two inch rip, by the way, and had a laceration of about an inch. About that time, someone comes in and announces that the pass is closed for the night. What the hell! How the hell am I gonna get home?! "Well," the patrol guy says, "you may have to sleep in your car. However, you should probably get a stitch in your leg." Haaaaarsh. There was an avalanche over I-90 and no one was getting through. So, I go up and ride some more, bleeding profusely through my sock and long johns. Until, at the lift, this cat announces, "They're letting some cars through the pass, detoured through the opposite side of the rode. Hurry up!" So, I got after it. And made it through. And lived to tell about it on the air today. A near harrowing experience.
January 24th, 2008
As you know, much of what I do on the air should be taken with a grain of salt. In fact, many of the characters are actors. Take the situation with the Trash Hauler and the Ring with the Elvish inscription. We pretend that the Golem wants the ring more than anything and he cries and moans over the loss of the most "Precious" thing he ever owned. We pretend that the Trash Hauler actually has the ring from the Lord of the Rings films. However, it is all an act. Trash hauler does have a ring that he keeps around his neck, but it's only a pretend ring. And Golem is an actor. That's why we, along with Blind Melon Chitlan who is part of Trash Hauler's security force with Vito No Sleevo, decided to pose for a picture just as a cast would do before a movie premiere. Enjoy! and let the illusion continue!
January 22nd, 2008
The Heat is on! Never in my illustrious career have I see such a heated backlash of words between two listeners. It's a typical case of "he said/she said", literally. In case you haven't been listening, Leonard made the mistake of spouting off some things that were on his mind about Monica, the Rubber Chicken Lady and the recourse has been drastic. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman's scorn!" She's responded with a mountain of harsh words for Leonard and then she dragged one of the newest characters, Nowhere Man, into the mix. Nowhere Man is just a fan of Leonard, but in Monica's mind, is an ally. Therefore, she lumped him in with the Frozen Salisbury Steak connoisseur's crew and laid down some very harsh words, calling them both dorks. Someone is going to have to succumb to kindness, or this could unravel into something that makes the headlines!
January 14th, 2008
We have the result. The Hawks got blown out and this is not how I had hoped to begin this blog. And I can't blame the officials. This morning on the BJ Shea Morning Experience, I spoke with Chad Eaton about the game and he recalled a statement that I had made last week. It was that I expected for there to be some calls in question because of the slanted favoritism of those that wanted to Packers to move on compared to the Seahawks. This did not happen. What did happen was that the Hawks fell flat on defense. And Brett Favre played an amazing game, doing what he had to do to fire up his team and get points on the board. They spotted us 14. We ended up getting pounced 42-6 after that. It sucked. Hey, let's focus on the postive, now we have another reason to get hammered and announce to the world that life is not fair. I'm still very happy about the fact that we don't live in DC, though. At least we lived another week. And it was fun to have 2 playoff games while many other cities sat on the sidelines watching. Here's to next season!
January 9th, 2008
While we are on the subject, let's talk about the Seahawks. I know, we weren't on the subject, but why the hell wouldn't we. So maybe you're reading this after Saturday's NFC Playoff with the Packers has already been played. If so, you will be compelled to read this because it you're looking to continue the celebration of victory, or wallow in the misery of defeat. However, I'm not going to discuss that game any longer. No. I wish to take the credit and live in each moment of a continuing season from the great, exciting win over the Redskins last weekend. People who love sports are too quick to move on to the next conquest without properly acknowledging the accomplishment that most recently happened. Saturday was an atomic day. Playoff wins don't come easy and they don't happen very often. Think about how badly people in DC would love to be living for another game. They can't. They can only watch us play for glory. I'm glad it's them. Therefore, I wish not to look forward to a potential ending to our entertaining season, but to live in the present. Magestic in the confidence of victory. And...I have to give props to one of the greatest Seahawks fans of all time, 12th Man Mike who get's After It every week just down the alley from the Krispy Kreme. Here's a photo of your Gangster with him before the game. Then, there are a couple pictures of me with one of my best friends, Walter Kelley from Q13 Fox News at 10, and Matt Wild from the social networking site, www.runwild.com. Go Hawks!!!
January 3rd, 2008
Happy New Year
Well it's that time again when we all make promises to ourselves that we're going to change certain habits that we find undesireable. These are called new years resolutions. It's usually during the month of December, about the time that we're loading in an extra ladelfull of Hamburger Helper that we make the pledge to either begin a better workout regiment, stop watching so much porn (if you're a guy), or stop watching so many reality/celebrity shows (if you're a chick), or to just plain begin eating better. However, January comes sonner than expected and your confronted with the task you were so eager to embark on only a few weeks earlier. It's the constant struggle to prove to ourselves and society that we can improve with a little bit of effort. And we usually mean it. The problem is, though, that by the time you reach your mid-thirties, there aren't too many resolutions that you haven't already made once, or twice. I mean, how many times have you tried to quit smoking? The sad fact is this. Come February, we all come to the harsh realization that we just love the hell out of Hamburger Helper and never want to live without it again. Happy New Year!
December 18th, 2007
Last week I was sick. And out of the 5 years that I've been employed here at the Rock, it was the first time I've taken 3 consecutive days from the airwaves. Now, there are some of you out there that think that, possibly, I played hooky. Which is another animal all together. And hooky is the improper term for taking this sick time. Hooky was what you did in high school when you went to first period and then slid under the fence only to meet some friends and go to someones house to get drunk. Possibly, you invited a couple chicks and then you played quarters. Why did you have to play a game to get drunk? I don't know. Why did we play Chutes and Ladders instead of Chess? Anyway, if you were on your game, or the baby Gir's were underclassmen, you got some action in the little sister's bedroom. I digress. The term is not Hooky for missing work due to illness. If anything, it should be called "called in sick due to a hangover". And if you call in 3 days of illness because of a hangover, you're too old and you need to slow down, Cowboy. No, I was legitimately ill. And to be honest, sitting at home watching the Price is Right with a fever blows. It may work for Leonard, but I'd rather be rockin' in the studio with my Gangsters.
November 26th, 2007
I don't mean to be negative, but... I don't mean to sound like I'm raining on everyone's parade, but... I don't wanna be the guy who had the Wheaties that were pissed in for breakfast, but... I'm going to be that guy. And maybe you'll agree with me and thank me for being that guy, because you don't want to have to be that guy. You can just tell the next person who brings this particular issue up with you to go to Ricker's Kickblog and read this entry to make your point so you don't have to. Ok, now on to the subject that's going to make me appear to be a jerk. Thanksgiving. Not the holiday itself, I love the holiday. Who doesn't love gorging themselves on meat, potatoes and gravy, only to retire to the couch for a football induced coma? I have no problem at all with the tradition. It's what happens the next day for the following week. It's the first question that you're asked to start every conversation on which you find yourself embarking. And that question is, "How was your Thanksgiving?" I mean, is it really itching into your inquisitive emptiness that bad to where you have to ask everyone you come into contact with? And do you really expect a thorough answer? And isn't every answer the same? Yes. Every answer is the same. I mean what could be so compelling about getting fat and passing out? Nothing. However, 9 out of 10 people I've confronted for the past 5 days have asked me the same question, "How was your Thanksgiving?" "It was nice, how was yours?" "Mine was nice", you'll answer. "Good". "Good". The conversation will begin there and you already know the rest. So let's save ourselves some time and just skip to the important stuff, ok? See, I told you I was gonna be "that" guy.
November 21st, 2007
This past week has been very special for me. It's not every day that you get to celebrate your success in what you do for a living, so my 5 year anniversary was, indeeed, an extremely sentimental day. To have the Rockaholics as a part of the greatness of this great rock radio station is very meaningful for me, as was the chance to reflect on the reason why I've been able to call Seattle my home since this time in 2002. You brought me back after I was fired with overwhelming support through e-mails and telephone messaging to the management here and to you I owe a hearty Thank You. And to pay homage, I offered myself up to be denegrated by my peers in the industry of show business. Oh yes, it is quite a badge of honor to be roasted by your colleagues and co-workers, but I must say that it takes a man with Big Huevos to allow yourself to be roasted by your own parents. And I did it for you. The Rockaholics. I put on my extra layer of skin and came to work like any other day. I listened. I listened. I listened. And to uphold that silence without the ability to retort was one of the more excruciating periods I've ever had to endure. I did it, though. And you need to know, as I allowed Ryan Castle, Sergeant Hairclub, Miles and Thrill, Double R and STP, and many others to deliver scathing acounts of my existence, I withstood it all for the entertainment of my listeners. I hesitate to use the word "Fans" because it is I that is the fan of you. Thank you for supoprting me for 5 years on KISW. They've been 5 of the greatest years of my life. Here's to 5 more!! (The Ricker Roast is available as a podcast if you're a Rockaholic Club Member).
November 14th, 2007
It is at this time that I must give accolades to one of the most important people to appear in radio in the last 40 years. I'm talking about a person that is not only a character on my show, but an asset to the universe. The talent and style that this person employs is rivalled by no one, as on a regular basis, he has notoriously graced this great radio station known as the rock with his caucophony of sounds that escape his mouth much like a delightful singing bird. Those who don't realize what good singing is may disagree, but the rest of us know a fabulous voice when we hear one without question. Let there be no mistake that this blog is a mere shadow of the respect that this overwhelmingly popular "pop" deserves. I'm referring to none other than our beloved, benevolent friend from the North Pole who tinkles into ice cold troughs and then packages the frozen liquid and distributes them around the world for everyone to enjoy. Oooh, the taste of a refreshing Otter Pop! We owe a great deal of praise to the one and only pungent provocatuer of the tangy taste of none other than Sir Isaac Lime. This page, I devote to you, you furry friend of flavor!
November 6th, 2007
One thing we do here at this great rock radio station is throw kick ass parties. And this method of bringing the rockaholics closer to the radio station is showing no signs of changing as we've just announced our latest endeavor, the 2007 Holiday Hangover Ball. Needless to say, I'm personally planning to Get AFTER it. Kinda like I did last friday night at the Kid Rock show at the same venue where the Ball will be held, the Showbox Sodo. I'd seen Kid Rock before. And I wasn't even sure if I was gonna make it to the gig until I heard him on the air with the Men's Room. You see, it was just about 9 o'clock exactly when I showed up which was perfect timing as that was the minute that the Kid hit the stage with I Am The Bullgod. I'd forgotten that when I interviewed him years ago, when Devil Without A Cause was blowing up, his show was atomic. There's chicks on stage, a female drummer, the Kid in his pimp gear, and rock music fused with many different genre's. Needeless to say, because of the massively festive atmosphere, exemplified by the high energy Rockaholics, I proceeded to Get AFTER It!! And I'm just now starting to feel better. Just in time to start Getting AFTER It again. World.
October 29th, 2007
Well, this past weekend, while most of you were dressing up for parties in the spirit of Halloween, there were two officers extremely devoted to their work who were combing the neighborhoods and canals of Miami. Their purpose is to clean up the streets from the big time druglords who have affected their past in such resounding ways that they've dedicated their lives to putting as many as they can in their rightful places. Which is behind bars. Of course, this cause to action has never been easy and always comes with a price. They've seen good cops go bad. They've had close relations to some who never made it home for dinner that night to their wife and kids. They've loved and lost. They understand that the life of an undercover agent is not an easy one, but they accept their roles. These two men are Sonny Crockett and Riccardo Tubbs. It hasn't been an easy road, but it's the one they've chosen to take. It's not just a job to these two men, it's a lifestyle. It's Miami Vice. (I threw in a gratuitous picture of a couple hotties--my chick as a schoolgirl, actually--just for the sake of eye candy).
October 22nd, 2007
Here we are in the midst of a heated race in the NFL and, needless to say, the Seahawks need all the help they can get. Sometimes the team doesn't play as well as expected. Hasselbeck throws imperfect balls, Alexander doesn't hit the holes fast enough. However, one thing you can always count on in a consistent fashion is the stellar performance week in and week out of the 12th Van owned by 12th Man Mike. That's right, there, just behind the Krispy Kreme in the alley sits a staple to Seahawks football that works as the muse for the team. It's the Blue Vanagon driven to every home game, emblazoned with Seahawks logos, that sits as a beacon of devotion to the teal blue valor of those that attend these contests in the chill of fall air. Most unfortunately, though, the 12th Van has recently gone down with a blown gasket, much like Mack Strong himself. And the 12th Van has been retired after numerous seasons of iron clad consistency. The game must be played, however, and 12th Man Mike and the boys haven't stopped to mourne this loss because this is not how champions are forged. No sir. The crew will continue on, each week devoting beer-bongs in honor of the 12th van as the 12th Man Flag is raised in its absence. And the strength of years with the 12th Van in presence will be remembered always as the Seahawks and their fans continue in their ultimate quest to bring sport's greatest prize back to Seattle.
October 2nd, 2007
I've gotta tell ya, just when you think you've got life handled with ease, something comes along and kicks you in the balls. Now I'm sure that you're aware of the situation we had here last week. I threatened to quit my post here at the world's greatest rock station if Monica, the Rubber chicken Lady didn't call. She had been avoiding the show for 3 weeks and not only does she have fans, but I've grown very attached to her myself. In fact, so much so, that if I couldn't somehow coerce her into returning to the phones after threatening to never call back again, I was going to take a different direction in my life. And I have to say, THANK GOD she did call in at the last moment on Friday, just before my ultimatum was going to have to be answered. This was a big week for me. Not only because I tested myself, but because I had the opportunity to see just how zealous the rockaholics are with their support for me and this radio station. In fact, I've posted a letter from one fan Monday morning that had a touching impact on my personal situation.
Hey Ricker,
I turned on my radio today with much dread, expecting to hear the voice of Ryan Castle or Steve Rock in your time slot. Thank God I didn't...I am a loyal KISW listener and have been since I moved here in 1988. I have over these last 20 years moved up and down the West coast and listened to many rock stations and none even comes close to KISW...And over the last 5 years I have become a big fan of you...I have listened to many DJ's over the years and can't think of any so good at their job, so good to the listeners, and so talented as you...As I listened to the drama play out on Friday both me and my old lady were dreading the thought of losing you...When they fired you a few years back we both stopped listening for a time until they hired you back...I am glad you stayed...I didn't get to hear the last 30 min of your show Friday and was worried that come Monday you'd be back in yur treehouse in Hawaii...Thanks for staying...Thanks for playing the best music the industry has to offer.
..Thanks for being you...You bring class, substance, and a certain panache to this city and its airwaves...I hope you stay here a long time and continue entertaining us with your style...Have a great one bro...
Gary in Bremerton
It's Gangsters like this that make me want to get up early every day and drive my ass to work and put on a quality program. And I mean EVERY DAY. Thank you Rockaholics. I'd have been miserable without you. And by the way, you'll hear the phone call from Monica on Thursdays podcast!
September 24th, 2007
Something I take pride in is producing this blog with every ounce of sincerity that I can muster from the distant corners of my life. It's important for me to be honest with the people that listen to my show so that we can share the common thread that brings us all to the same place at this moment of our lives. I realize that I'm the one who provides a radio show daily and you are the one who listens, therefore, it's my duty to allow you into my personal world enough so that there is a commonality that we share. It's as if I were to come into your living room to share some life stories and you broke out a photo album and fingered through some pictures to make me feel as if I could be in touch with particular moments and years of your life. Well, in a sense, that's what I do here. This way, there's an understanding between the two of us that we'll hold back very little in order to accomplish the greatest, most real relationship ever. That's why I've decided, now, to take it to the next level and offer a photograph of my childhood that was taken after my brother and I were adopted by a very nice man with a daughter. Please don't laugh. I was innocent. And I'd like to remember this picture of me as I time in my life when things were simple and uncomplicated. We all have pictures of a period when we looked goofy, but please try to find it in your heart to understand the happiness that I lived with at that time. I loved that kickball. I still love Kickballs.
September 12th, 2007
I haven't gone into too much detail about the recent accounts of my summer festivities lately. Maybe the reason for that is because it's difficult to recount them clearly, if you know what I mean. And this has been a summer like no other. I think that maybe it's because I've been in Seattle long enough now to have reached a certain status of celebrity and everywhere I go people treat me like a star. I've got affluence and luxury making it's way into my weekends and, to be quite frank, I don't mind a bit. Maybe that's one of the reasons I decided to opt out of the offer I received to do AM drive for a station in San Diego and instead recently signed a 2 year deal to stay put in Seattle. Not that I wouldn't love to live there, but I've become pretty damn comfortable living here in the Pacific Northwest. And I love to snowboard in the winter. Anyway, let me catch you up on the last two weekends of decadence. Labor day was spent rolling up the coast with Johnny Drama to the San Juan Islands in his kick ass yacht. Needless to say, we got AFTER it. Johnny Drama is a surgeon, but don't let the success and money fool you, he loves to get AFTER it.
And then last weekend. Well, my beloved Tampa Bay Buccaneers were in town to take on my dearly beloved Seattle Seahawks. And there I am with Rico Tubbs and Ethan Hawke getting after it in the Red Bull suite with massive cocktails available. I mean, the Red Bull people know how to host a get-together. They had Jaegermeister and Absolute stocked in the suite to accentuate the Red Bull. There were Chicken nuggets and tasty ribs, as well. After the first half, I didn't care who won the game!
After the resounding victory by Seattle, we proceeded to make our way to the waterfront, stopping at Fado Irish Pub along the way to swallow a quick Irish Car Bomb. Down on the sparkling bay, we stopped in approximately 5 bars and had a drink in each, en route to Pesos in Queen Anne. Somehow, I ended up in the magnificent, brand new Olympic Sculpture Park where my buzz suited me well.
Eventually, many hours after the game, our journey ended at our destination, Pesos. And it was there that the lovely waitress, Trisha from Aberdeen, proceeded to flirt, much to the dismay of my wretched hair style.
In case you couldn't tell, I was pretty hammered. World.
September 4th, 2007
Well, the new Rubber Chicken has arrived and I've taken it upon myself to attatch a photograph. It seems that this Rubber Chicken is a professional and won't be disappointing any fans at crunch time. This new Rubber Chicken has experience and has enjoyed a fruitful career so far. It knows that when the camera is rolling, it's time to perform. This new Rubber Chicken exhudes confidence, something that the old Rubber Chicken had become deficient in being able to maintain. I'm very excited about this new Rubber Chicken also, because it only takes 2 vacations a year, one to Sturgis and one to Daytona Beach. And if I ever have any problems firing up my engine, well, this Rubber Chicken can work on any bike and get the job done right. This Rubber Chicken has an extensive background in acting, as well. It's been in several pictures such as the Fast and the Furious, Hell's Angels the Movie, the Wild One starring Marlon Brando, and Easy Rider. I have the utmost confidence that this new Rubber Chicken will be accountable and dependable. It's exactly what I've been looking for, knowing how vital a quality Rubber Chicken is to my show. It will squeal on demand. The fans have spoken. There's a new Rubber Chicken in town.
August 28th, 2007
Many of you may have noticed, as of late, that the Rubber Chicken hasn't been working as well as it used to. When the Rubber Chicken was new, oh, it squawked with the vibrancy of 5 ambulance sirens. However, now, just as a professional athlete that has seen it's peek fade away as newer, fresher bodies become the stars of tomorrow, so has the Rubber Chicken run a similar course. At first, I thought I would break the Rubber Chicken into a career of broadcasting, but the pleads of the Rubber Chicken were to not give up on it yet, but to stick with it and give it another chance to prove itself. my show is paramount, though, so I had to do what was best for the franchise. I had to retire the Rubber Chicken. After all, there I was at Pain in the Grass, on stage in front of 10,000 people when the Rubber Chicken let me down with a broken squeal. I can't take the chance of that happening again. Unfortunately, what sometimes happens in these situations is the Rubber Chicken will turn to booze and drugs, but in this circumstance, I'm very regretful to announce, that our worst expectations have come true. Yes, the one time famed Rubber Chicken took it upon itself to try to cross the road. And we see what the result became. It's indeed a sad day. For this blog entry is dedicated to that one time great....Rubber Chicken.
August 20th, 2007
Saturday was Hempfest in Seattle and it was one of the finest, most passive party's I've ever attended. At first, I didn't think I was gonna make it, but thanks to my boys Shane and Levi of XIL RECORDS (www.xilrecords.com), I was able to enjoy the festivities accordingly. For me, the event started with a serious problem. I'd gone for a hike in the morning and got a little over indulged in the beauty of my payoff and ended up staying a little long on the mountain. For this, I found myself running late for the stage announcement that I had scheduled at 4:00. So I'm fishing around for a parking spot and it's closing in on the important hour and I'm beginning to lose hope that I'll make it in time. Then comes the phone call. It's Shane and he says, " Find me at this particular location in a hurry, I've got four guys with skateboards that I just met on the street and they wanna meet you. For trade, they're gonna hold this parking spot that I'm beating people off trying to save for you." So I'm like, "B-Line Baby"!! I show up to the spot and here are these full blown Gangsters all baked and stoked that they had the honor of saving my place, but the honor was all mine, indeed. Immediately, Shane grabs us and we run to the north entry of the park and there, Levi is waiting with a golf cart. We hop aboard and by this time it's 4:10 when Shane gets a call from Ppppprrryyyyyaaaaaaaan, his assistant, who informs us that the band is going on late and that will be at 4:20. Perfect! Levi yells and screams, "VIP, please move to the side as he tries desperately to part the sea of people en route to the McWilliams Stage where the band, The Cause is ready to play a very vibing set that is reminiscient of Sublime. Through the crowd we inch, counting the minutes as we pass by people by the hundreds. And then we arrive. The time is 4:18 and the band is on stage. "Ricker's Here!!!", they shout, only seconds away from introducing the band. I scale the front barricade and the crowd goes haywire. I say, with all due respect, while viewing the onlookers of nearly a thousand with the beauty of the sound behind them as cruise ships pass by en route to Alaska, "If everyone could just take a collective toke and exhale it into the air to seed the universe, possible we'll have a better all around acceptance of marijuana...please welcome, The Cause!!!!" Suddenly the band breaks into song as we throw about 100 joints into the crowd and it happens. So props to Levi and Shane for making Hempfest 2007 one of the best experiences of the year. (pic 1--the sign that went to the supreme court...pic 2--Dirtbag, a regular at high noon...pic 3 Pppprrrryyyyyaaaaaan, Shane from XIL Records and myself).
August 14th, 2007
It's time we discussed Pain in the Grass. You see, as you can now tell, writing a blog on Monday during the summer is just not going to happen. So for those of you who were expecting an entry yesterday, I apologize if I disappointed you, but it takes me three days to get over an event of such magnitude. I'll be honest. I'm not...I take that back, no one is cut out for the kind of attention a person in my position receives at an event like that. There were 10,000 people in attendance and I think I met 9,000 of them. What I'm trying to say is that people like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are not normal. I can't conceive how a person would want constant attention like that. I get it one day and have to spend the next 3 recuperating and trying to allow my mind to grasp the unnatural attention. It's a beautiful thing, indeed, to have people adore what you do for a living, or who you are as a person, but one at a time is nice. All at once is a little alarming. However, it's what I do. I love it. I love people who love my show. So I accept and handle it. But it takes 3 days until I can talk about it. So, what I've been doing lately is, instead of recounting the events, it's much more thorough to allow you to live through the event vicariously with pictures. So I threw some pics here for you to see, including one with my Gangster Critter, the 12 year old kid who I hooked up with tickets on Friday (you may have heard me discussing him on the air), one of a nice rockahaulic, Gir', and one of me back stage. The rest are here...just click. Rock on! http://kisw.com/pages/249508.php
August 7th, 2007
Ok, I'm well enough now to be able to transfer a thought from my mind out of my mouth. Now, let's get right down to business. As one would expect, Seafair was atomic as usual. Not only was it a sunny, 75 degree day on Sunday, but the Blue Angels were flying high. I joined a few Gangsters on a 42 foot SeaRay with several coolers full of iced down libations and off to the south of Lake Washington we headed. There were 15 chicks and 5 dudes. Heaven. Needless to say, we were the envy of the entire lake. Especially the guy with the sunk boat. So, instead of telling you about the mayhem that took place under the air show, I figured I'd bring it to you by way of visual aid. There's a picture of Crocket and Tubbs, one of the Blues, My chick and many others, as well. World.
August 6th, 2007
I'm too hungover from Seafair today to write anything intelligent...intelligable...inte...whatever. I'll give you a full report with pictures tomorrow.
July 19th, 2007
Oh heavens, did we throw down with some ice cold treats yesterday! Lord knows that everyone loves the alarming, delicious flavors of all the Otter Pops, but some more than others. My Gangster, Derek, who works at Precision Collision in Bellevue (seen below with the Doors shirt on) is one, indeed, as he was the ambitious Big Baller who became the lucky recipient of my very first OTTER POP ROCK GIRL DROP! A couple Rock Girls, Sir Isaac Lime, and myself, rolled into his workplace to unload a bunch of KISW shwag as well as numerous tasty treats known as the delicious elixer that we all grew up with and still love dearly. It could be you next time!!! Just sign up on my personal page (basically, where you are now) and good luck!
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July 16th, 2007
This is, by far, tuning up to be the best summer that I've had the pleasure of being a part of since coming to Seattle 5 years ago this November. I mean, it's not only that we've got all kinds of kick ass events lined up like Pain in the Grass and the Projekt Revolution Tour, or that we just raged for Ozzfest, or that Wednesday we start the Otter Pop Rock Girl Drop, but the killer is that the weather has cooperated for a true gangster lifestyle. When I got to this city, I could be wrong, but the summers were a little cooler and a pinch more rainy. Now, I truly hate to say it, things are heating up and the atmosphere at the beaches and out in the bars is more vibrant and conducive for partyin'. And that all revolves around the baby gir's with big, fat, giant, juicy, jiggly kickballs. Take it from a Florida boy, when the sun is out, the baby gir's gain a certain sense of horniness that the rain and clouds don't necessarily inspire in their personalities. I'll say one thing, if climate change continues on this trend, Seattle is going to become the next haven for perfect weather and I'm cool with that because I love baby gir's with big, fat, giant, juicy, jiggly kickballs. Love 'em! Global warming is not good--it sucks. Let me just make that statement. However, if it's going to happen, then I've no choice, but to be optimistic, right? Yesterday I was on my longboard just cruisin' down Alki beach and the baby gir's with big, fat, giant, juicy kickballs and asses like Arnold from Different Strokes (see above display) were all over the place. Now, my memory isn't the most keen in the entire galaxy, but I don't quite rightly remember them being so prevailent. This is a good thing. So join with me in this splendor called summer. Get out and enjoy it, Gangster. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives....
July 9th, 2007
Man, am I glad we've passed the....wait a minute, Steve Rock just walked in here to tell me he's lost 10 pounds since giving up buying weed....Thanks, Steve Rock, for that useless piece of information...anyway...wait, hold on, he's drinking hot sauce...wow...Steve Rock obviously has a death wish which possibly explains why he looks like a terrorist named Osama Bin Rockin'...by the way, Steve Rock will be hosting our new Friday night place to hang called Grindhouse from 10p-2a...anyway...whew, I was saying that I'm glad we've passed the 4th of July which, in my opinion, is only a speed bump along the way to the summer's most fun affairs like Ozzfest and Pain in the Grass. Sometimes I look so forward to events that are forthcoming, that I tend to overlook the day to day greatness of just living. It's true, I try to grasp onto the hour by hour beauty of having a very cool life as much as possible, but it's easy to get excited about the future. We definately throw some kick ass get togethers here at this great rock radio station called KISW. Hell, I'm looking forward to my Otter Pop Rock Girl Drop. It starts next week as we'll be coming to your workplace with a member of the Otter Pop clan and a couple Rock Girls, too. It's be a great way to liven up the workday for you and have a chance to hang, as well. We'll bring some swag, too. So if you haven't signed up yet, there's a flip banner that you click on at the KISW home page and each week we'll pick a destination. All you have to do is wait for our arrival. So, there's a summer full of fun to be had, all you gotta do is jump aboard. You're invited to the Party called the Rock of Seattle, KISW!!! World.
June 25th, 2007
Another victory for the Foul Balls!!!!! Yes, well, indeed it was a most anticipated affair this past Saturday as the drama had heated up last Monday between BJ Shea and myself. Of course, it was all concerning the pantsing incident that occured the on the playing field of the previous week's game. Everyone who listened to the BJ Shea Morning Experience was made very aware that there was some tension that had arisen from said pantsing. If you didn't hear, well, I took the opportunity to sneak up on Topshelf from behind and catch him totally unsuspecting of any prank. As he was staring off into the distant sky, having just heard a tirade of demeaning words from coach Double R for flubbing a play on the ball, I surprised him with a dramatic dropping of his sweats from behind. However, I wasn't the only one surprised as, low and behold, Toppy wasn't wearing underwear. And yes, his entire frontal attack was exposed to the one hundred plus onlookers who were laughing with shock. So, this past weekend, as the Foul Balls went on to another resounding victory, I was the one surprised when Topshelf caught me unsuspecting of any pranks, dropping my drawers suddenly. It should be noted that Topshelf will never again fall to such a drastic prank as he is now suited with a uniform pair of suspenders and proper baseball pants!
June 18th, 2007
Firstly, I've got to say what a pleasure it is to be able to come out to little nooks and crannies in the Pacific Northwest and be welcomed by so many cool-ass people. Friday night is a perfect example of how great the people that love this radio station are. I mean, I've never even been to Poulsbo and had no idea of what to expect. I roll in my pimpin' limo from RTC Limosines and I'm thinkin' that some cats are gonna think I'm being pretentious and act all snobby towards me, but that wasn't the case. I mean, the owner of Voodiez set me up. He hooked me up a hotel room and sent the limo to pick my ass up and I was thinking to myself, "wow, is this really the kinda joint where I wanna be arriving in a limosine?" Boy was I wrong, there was a fricken' welcome mat rolled out and a very large gathering of Gangsters and Gir's that made me feel right at home. Of course, immediately, the Jaegerbombs started arriving at my table at an alarming rate. So much so that I had to resort to simple Patron tequila because I was getting too jacked up and jittery. However, I needed a little lift from all the excitement that ensued from the Guitar Hero competition that we hosted. Oh, and the company! Well, we had appearances from The Rubber Chicken Lady who hooked up with some guy that looked identical to Oscar De La Hoya. Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssshhhhhhh Hauuuullllerrrrrr was there, too. He brought Blind Melon Chitlan with him who got cold when we went down to the waterfront to toke on a fat one, so I gave him my leather jacket to wear. It was too small and made him look like Sebastian Bach of Skid Row without the long, blonde hair. And of course, how could we forget, Sir Isaac Lime appearing at said party. Oh, it was one for the ages, I tell ya. And if you haven't had the chance to hang out with me yet, stay tuned, I'm coming to a bar near you sometime this summer. I hope. (As you can see, I included pictures of Monica-the Rubber Chicken Lady, Sir Isaac Lime, and Rock Girl Katie).
June 11th, 2007
Anyone who's ever been a fan of mob films will be lamenting the end of the Sopranos. The question, however, is how did the series really end? I mean, what happened after the show went to black? If you were disappointed with this final episode, maybe you weren't thinking deeply enough. I mean, what we've come to expect from this realistic look into a Mob family is how truly real it is. Then why is it that we're dejected when it ends this way. However, maybe there's more to it. And to give you a better perspective, I've attatched a letter from a Rockaholic who has some great observations:
He was killed....
in fact, the ending was genius if you've paid attention to the show or
are just a fan of well developed well thought out plots that all tie
together and have the memory of a champ to remember it all
the ending was simple, he got killed, but let me tell yall why and
explain in detail... There was 3 people in the room total who had a
reason to kill tony.....
the two black guys, they were paid before to kill tony but he was only
shot in the ear, this was in one of the earlier seasons,
also in the earlier seasons, the trucker who was sitting at the bar
stool, who the camera kept focusing in on, is Nikki leotardo, Phil
Leotardos nephew, he was in one of the early season episodes where Phil
and Tony have a sit down....
heres where the genius comes in....
When tonys walking in the diner,you see the camera focus on him, then
it switches to his perspective, and you see him looking @ the booth hes
gonna sit at...
then the camera switches back to tonys face, then it once again
switches to his perspective, and it shows him looking @ the door and
looking @ the people come in..... Everytime the door opens the Chimes
sound....... Carmela walks in, Chimes, AJ walks in Chimes, this when
Meadows parallel parking, still trying to get inside the restaurant....
at this point the camera switches back to the trucker who goes in the
bathroom......
Then it goes to a scene where meadow finally parks and starts running
in the diner....
the doors about to open, Tony looks up....
and No Chimes......................
No Music............
Everything just goes black...............
In one of the early episodes of the sopranos, tonys talking with bobby
about what it must feel like to die..
Bobby says "at the end, you probably dont hear anything, everything
just goes black"
part of that was revisited in the second to last episode during the
last seconds of it, when tonys about to go to sleep and he flashes back
to the memory of him and bobby on the boat... "You probably dont hear
anything everything just goes black"
so in the end, the Journey song was playing, the chimes on the door
sounded but when meadow came in, the guy in the trucker hat came out and
killed tony...
its the reason you aint hear, or see shit when he died.... it was from
his perspective.... and everything went black, then the credits rolled.
June 5th, 2007
I wish to devote this space in my beloved Kickblog to one particular corporation to which I would never normally bring attention. This corporation is Motorola. Why, you ask? Well, you should ask why. Because I'm, by no means, tied to any area of the corporate landscape at heart. I work for a corporation, but I don't feel indepted to it. However, I will give props when vitally due. You see, last week was a gorgeous week for weather here in the pacific northwest and I spent my weekend wallowing in the much deserved sunshine beginning Saturday. I loaded the 35 foot 2007 SeaRay of an acquaintance in Seattle and sailed to Gig Harbor for a bangin' house party, equiped with a hot tub, catering, lots of baby gir's, and a back yard waterfall. Needless to say, I got all forked up and stepped up my game well into the evening as I caught a ride back to Seattle for some night time festivities at the Seasound lounge where we had a couch reserved in the VIP room. The next day began with bloody mary's in the morning en route to a day at the beach with lots of bikinis sharing the sand. Eventually, the group made our way off of Alki to a nearby mansion in the hills for a pool party stocked with a grand Tiki Bar. It was there that we spent the afternoon until, eventually, the clouds finally began to roll in, bringing an end to the record week of warmth. Around that time, the collective decision was made to creep into the hot tub to "warm the cockles" (if ya know what I mean). Now, I have to admit that by this juncture of the weekend, my consciousness wasn't exactly keen from the depletion of the senses in which I'd imbibed for the majority of this celebratory time. And these senses didn't actually become awakened until the precise moment of realization that in the side pocket of my board shorts was the item upon which this dissertation is based, my cellular telephone. It, along with my chilly body, had been submersed in the delicous, toasty water for about 10 minutes. Immediately upon discovery, of course, the phone was detatched from all components and set out to dry. Overnight, the phone was useless. In the morning, with no hope whatsoever, and the inability to answer any calls, or check any messages, I plugged it in just to double check that the peice of electronic technology was, indeed, rendered useless. However, much to my surprise, a small light became visible and one by one, the thing started to come to life. Sure, the screen was filled with condensation, but the thing spoke. And eventually, it dried. And miraculously, I made a phone call and it worked fantastically. This phone is a Motorola. And I have to say, they make a damn good, no great, hot tub proof cellular telephone! Props!!!
May 29th, 2007
Hopefully, you had a safe memorial day weekend. As I was returning from Vancouver last night, I saw Johnny Law all over the place looking to wreck people's lives with a very expensive citation for having that extra beer, or eight. Regardless, the Great White North was goin' off and I'll reiterate the story that I told on the air today. Speaking of the law, Sunday, I attended the 3,000 person "fan club" concert that the Police threw at the arena up there where they play their hockey. The show was cool, I mean, I'm not in the Police fan club--I hooked up tickets through one of my Homers that works for a record label. So there I am, somewhere between Invisible Sun and something off of Zenyatta Mendatta, and I notice that 3 rows in front of me is Eddie Vedder. He's digging on some Police, too. Most likely he's in the same situation as me, scored some freebies to a high end show and took advantage. So I'm thinking to myself, I've never met the guy and I've, in some way, idolized him for close to 15 years. As the show was going on, I watched his mannerisms almost more than I watched Sting's. The show is good and afterward I go back to the hotel. The entire time, I'm thinking to myself how cool it was that I finally saw Eddie in person somewhere off a stage. I hear about sightings all the time. I live in West Seattle. He lives in West Seattle. He buys his music at Easy Street Records. So do I. But I've never seen him in person. Until now. There he was. That was cool. So I get back to the hotel and roll up to the room with my girl for a cocktail. We decide to get a little lively and hit the lounge in the lobby which was somewhat crackin'. We find a comfortable area on a couch, order a drink and sink back to check out the sights. And guess who's chillin' at the other end of the room with a Corona in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. Ed. This is the chance. This is where I make friends. We have much in common included with the fact that I'm personal friends with Mike McCready. He's been on our radio station. He surely is aware of me and my radio show. I sit, though. I watch. I cool off. This guy doesn't need another anxious fan disrupting his evening with questions about how relative the two of us are within the other's world. Does he really care, or would he rather enjoy his anonymity. Probably the latter. So as a matter of respect, I withhold the introduction and wait for the universe to arrange our meeting another day. That is, if it's meant to be.
May 22nd, 2007
I'd like to take this time to make a simple devotion of gratitude and respect to one little wonderful lady that helps make our days go a little smoother. It is to this generous human being that I owe a great deal of honor for her taking valuable time out of her busy day to grace us all with the positivity that she so unselfishly shares. For without the blissful wonderment from this unique mind, we would all continue to live on in our mundane lives without the exasperated sense of excitement that this person exhudes. Without the knowing that a person so enigmatic actually exists, some of us may have never been aware that such an explosive, vibrant personality could make such a profound mark on our daily joy. It is to you, Monica (the Rubber Chicken Lady), that I would like to give the highest accolades of endearment for gracing me with your awesome presence. For you have made my life and the lives of countless others more enriched just by providing us with your uncanny friendship. And for your honor, I've chosen to post my favorite picture that I believe justifies your personality in big, bold, bulbous fashion. Thank you.
May 16th, 2007
I'm fired up about a lot of things right now! As summer approaches, there are plenty of reasons to feel invigorated from the surge of vitamin D. Firstly, if you missed out last year on the embarrassment we laid at the hands of many unsuspecting Small Ballers, we're coming back for the 9 inning, Diamond attack. That's right, the Foul Balls will be playing in your neighborhood some time this year against some lowly, inferior softball teams. The cool part is that we all get hammered afterward, and that's when we convince the opposing team that they were reading the score backward. Another reason to get inspired for summer is the 99 days of summer. We'll be combing the streets and beaches with events and rock girls constantly. And also, the summer concert series is about to kick into gear. I love getting all forked up at the White River Ampitheater and the Gorge while diggin' the tunes, Gangster. That's my idea of a great time personally. Oh yeah, and I got a new inflatable cooler to take on floating trips. You gotta keep the Jaeger and Patron cold on those hot days, while tubing down your favorite river, for certain. The baby Gir's gotta be hammered so when we get back to the vehicle, they provide a happy ending on the drive home. World. See you soon!
May 7, 2007
That was one hell of a Rock Girl Gala, Man, whew! In case you didn't make it, well, I'm here to fill you in on a few of the accounts. Before everything started, in the courtyard was where the action took place. There was Sir Isaac Lime, Strawberry Shortkook, Poncho Punch, and none other than......Genghis Grapfruit Kahn!!! They were there to market the new spring line of delicious Otter Pops, a fine vintage I might add. Everyone in line was bequeathed one of the ice cold, delicious treats just to get the blood flowing before the big event. Sir Isaac Lime wore an ear to ear grin from the excitement. Meanwhile, backstage with The New Originals, Guitar Hero was being played on the tv in the Seahawks dressing room as we all awaited the arrival of the Rockaholics. When the show finally got officially kicked in, low and behold, we had the great honor of seeing the sweet Rock Girl finalists and returning Rock Girls in their "dark and dangerous" wear. Wow, Gangter! Boooiiiiiiiiinnnnnnggggg!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and Fair to Midland frickin' rocked, Man. I was really surprised. They had a keyboard player whose instrument was turned down so the audience could see him playing it as he crouched over. It was a fresh set. The brews were flowing and needless to say, when the New Originals did hit the stage, the joint flew off the handle. Especially when the Fire Department came out with their bagpipes and kicked in "It's a Long Way to the Top". That's when the house rocked, Big Baller. And when Puddle of Mudd made the stage, a certain little someone went out into the audience, hint-hint, strolled up to the seated area, and proceeded have a little pow wow with an entourage of about 50 people. People took major photos and serious Brehay, Gangster comraderie was thrown down, definately. After that, everything's pretty much a blur. Except for the hangover.
April 30th, 2007
Yesterday was my birthday and I'm severely dehydrated. That's it. That's the end of this week's blog entry. I can't go on without some pedialyte and a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. See ya. Seriously, I'm done......................
I see you're still here. You're gonna make me do this, aren't you? Oh for Christ's sake! It started with bloody mary's at Duke's on Alki at about 2 in the afternoon. Then, around 5, the birthday party started at the Garage on Capital hill, an upscale bowling alley/pool hall. Numerous KISW staffers showed in Sunday form, bitching about their hangovers from the previous night. Lord, when are people gonna learn to abstain from those last shots of Lemondrops at last call. When am I gonna learn to abstain from those last shots of Lemondrops at last call. Yeah, well, needless to say things started to escalate when the bowling got underway and I started hitting strikes. It's funny how you get on that great bowling buzz and your senses are keen and your accuracy is alarming, like you start to think you are actually a decent bowler. Then, however, the booze kicks in and you can't hit the broad side of a barn. And your hand starts to get tired. That's when it's time to hang it up. But no, I continue bowling. And drinking. It's like staying in the hot tub too long and pounding beers--you just don't know how hammered you're getting. Did I mention it was my birthday? Yeah, well, I figured I'd do whatever the hell I want. And besides, Blind Melon Chittlan was there. Bowling. He actually went head to head with the Traaaaaaash Haaaauuuuuler. Trash hauler was victorious by 12 pins. Blind Baby was distraught from the loss. True story. Then However, Blind Melon Chittlan busts out my unexpected birthday gift, a beautiful, black, glass piece that has a spindle on the base that reads "Ricker's High Noon". And that's when the evening changed dramatically. Basically, we hot boxed the Garage. True story.
April 23rd, 2007
Man, what an historical day we had at Jimi Hendrix's memorial last friday. The day was April 20th. 4/20. Four Twump! As it was, I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself in creating the invitation over the air. The last thing I wanted was to incite a riot and stir up the hornets nest known as Johnny Law and his minions. So I kept it suave by clearly stating that I would be visiting his grave at that sacrimonious moment, but was not inviting anyone other than Topshelf from the BJ Shea show. Of course, when we arrived to the site, many Jimi faithful were already in attendance as others were anxiously arriving to take part in the spiritual minute that was the reason for our cause. The people in attendance were truly respectful of me and the property and it turned into an extremely positive vibration. At the minute of Four Twump, everyone gathered around and inside the memorial as I gave a meaningful devotion to the connection made between all of us there and the rest of the world. Of course, you could almost hear a slight, happy mumble audible through your mind from the voice of Jimi and his appreciation for the friends that chose to spend this time with him. He was one of the many friends made that day. I've posted some pictures so you can check out what went down. The weather was beautiful, of course, and it got more crisp as the day moved on. Needless to say, a purple haze permeated the atmosphere.
April 17th, 2007
This is the part where Ricker gets real. I've had a very difficult 3 days. I haven't spoken about the events that happened last Saturday because up until this point it was too painful to re-live. However, now that I've had the time to decompress and make sense of what happened, it's easier to bring up without bursting into tears. I've been experiencing Post Tramatic Stress. The Men's Room, for whom I have a lot of respect, spent their show on Monday discussing these traumatic events in which I was directly involved. What happened is this. Walter Kelley from Fox News, Fletch, our production director and weekend on-air talent, and a good friend of mine named Clint, went up to Snoqualmie to have some fun in the snow. On our first run, we decided to go straight to the back country (out of bounds). Fletch and I got ahead of the other two, stopped to discuss where we were gonna go and then Fletch went ahead of me. I watched him go over a couple little nolls and then a third and he disappeared. Then I didn't see him come out and assumed he must have landed on his ass. Then the other two came up and Clint rode to the spot where I last saw Fletch. He stopped and said that there was a massive drop off there and we should stay away. I asked him where Fletch was. He looked, then turned back to me and said, "I don't see him". That's when I got scared. I raced to where Clint was, stopped and saw how far down this ledge was and started to freak out. I hauled ass around the area to get to the bottom as quickly as possible and that's when I saw Fletch broken at the bottom of a waterfall. He looked dead. Now, without getting too descriptive, moments later I held his head in my hands begging for him to breath as Clint blew out for help and Walter tried to call 911. Fletch was almost entirely submersed in a pool of water and I had to make the decision quickly to get him out and take a chance that he had a back, or neck injury, or leave him in it to possibly get hypothermia. He was unconscious, gasping for air with his jaw badly broken, hanging off to the side of his mouth with a massive tear from the corner of his mouth almost to his ear. His eyes were fluttering in the back of his head. This is my buddy from Florida with whom I've worked for 3 different radio stations. I helped get him a job at KISW and now I believe he's about to die. Suddenly, he became conscious and I assured him over and over that I was gonna take care of him and get him out of there. I told him he was hurt, but I needed his help. I told him to continue to take deep breaths. I asked him if he had any movement in his extremeties, which he did. That's when I knew I had to get him out of the water. So I tugged his heavy, wet body and pleaded for him to push with his legs and eventually, soaking wet with a waterfall of ice water spraying us, we got him to a position where he could breathe while sitting up, propped against a wall of rock. His face was bleeding profusely. It took about 25 minutes for the ski patrol to find us which is actually very fast. They got to work on him immediately and eventually, with the help of about 12 guys, after building a ramp made of snow, we got him out of the deep hole into which he'd fallen. Patrol then got him off the hill and he was transported by helecopter to Harbor View. He sustained multiple facial fractures, a severed jaw in two places and major bruises along the left side of his body. The hospital staff said that usually when a person comes in with those kind of facial wounds they are paralyzed, or dead on arrival. I'm totally grateful that he's gonna heal and be able to get back to normal. I'm also grateful that I was the one that was there to help him stay alive. It makes me feel good that I can be a true friend in the most trying time.
April 10th, 2007
The other day I was visited in the studio by one of the tastier dance team members of the fine NBA representation here in Seattle, the Supersonics. I have to be honest, I can't quite remember her name as I sit here and type, but I do remember the fabulous padunkadunk. She had her Dance Team coordinator with her who used to be a chearleader for the Niners and the Seahawks and I took some primo pics that I have posted here for you to check out. Otherwise, I've got the opportunity for you to see them up close and personal as you can win Ricker's Bangin' Night Out with the Sonics. That's right, Big Baller! Right there on my home page is a banner that you click on to get to the entry form. We'll roll Gangster style in a phat, stretch limo from RTC Limo's to get some dinner and then to the ball game to sit courtside. It's the only real way to see the NBA--up close and in your face. Why do you think the celebrities spend all that jack to sit courtside? Because it fricken' rocks! So go sign up now and see...er, what's her name on the hardwood. World.
April 4th, 2007
I have to profess my love for the Rubber Chicken Lady at this time. Without her, I'd feel homeless. She brings a sense of familiarity to my show every day. I long for the almost daily exasberation of her unbridled psyche as I slowly wind up the air trapping flexibility, only to release the tension for a caucophony of shrilling delight. Oh, the sound of her skreeching scream in concert with the high pitched sqwauk makes for a stereophonic masterpiece that delights my senses. To me, she is so beloved, that I have included a token of our affair. Yes, she graced me with a message of her devotion three weeks before my birthday, just to make sure there was no chance of being late. She spied the day on the Rock Girl Calender where the 29th of April is designated as the day I was brought into the world, this being the 35th year. If ever anything should happen to this wondrous woman, I don't know what I will do to get through my radio show. In one way, I celebrate her mere existence, yet in the same thought, I curse the addiction I have to her unique personality. I can barely stand the day's she doesn't grace the radio with her presence. I just don't know if I'll ever meet anyone ever again with Rubberchickenphobia--and shutter to think how difficult it will be to come across that person. In the meantime, I thank the universe for placing me in this existence to which I can at least enjoy the few short moments we have together. World.
March 21st, 2007
Well, we're about to get right into the mix of my favorite time of year--Spring. Why? Well that's easy. The birds and the bees, Gangster. Just as the lone stag wanders the wilderness for the nubile doe, so do we comb the beaches and bars seeking that inspired philly that will carry our seed. It's nature, and who the hell are we to think that we can disspell 13 million years of evolution. No sir, we fall prey to the same instincts of men for generations past and carry on the hunt for the elusive fox. Maybe that's why we choose springtime to kick off our Rock Girl Search every year. We are as predictable as the sun rising in the East (unless you're Leonard who is pretty certain it comes up in the West) and as the self professed world class recruiters of these dainty gazelles, you can rest assured that we'll fall right into suit in 2007. We are approaching the deadline for entries and I'm boiling with anticipation to see what kind of little felines come calling this year to become a part of this great rock radio station. Next week you will be exposed to the hopefulls, so get your right finger ready to click, because you are an integral part of the decision making process when it comes to choosing the Baby Girls that will represent us this year. World.
March 14th, 2007
This is easily the most exciting time of the year around the radio station. Not only can you feel the warmth beginning to rise in the outside air, but the 2007 Rock Girl Search has begun. So, for the next week, girls will be parading through the hallways here to have their lovely mugs photographed. We'll take the pictures and post them at KISW.com, as we do every year, for you to judge. And we know how much of a Gangster you are. That's why we leave the decision making process, basically, up to you, the Rockalolics. And then, of course, we celebrate the success of our recruitments by throwing the biggest, dopest bash of the year, The Rock Girl Gala. So send the finest chicks you know our way. I promise, we won't steal them. We're only borrowing them. We respect a Gangster's property, Gangster. Oh, also, today A Gangster named Brandon Fulse was in the studio during High Noon. You may have heard him. He sent me an e-mail a couple weeks ago asking if I could hook up some courtside seats to a Sonics game. He said his Grandmother had been a huge fan of our NBA team for as long as he could remember and that now that she hasn't got long to live because of terminal Parkinson's Disease, it would be his dream to take her to a game in that fashion. So, I contacted the Sonics and got it taken care of. So, please keep Brandon in your thoughts. Losing family is the worst, Man. World.
He was killed....
in fact, the ending was genius if you've paid attention to the show or
are just a fan of well developed well thought out plots that all tie
together and have the memory of a champ to remember it all
the ending was simple, he got killed, but let me tell yall why and
explain in detail... There was 3 people in the room total who had a
reason to kill tony.....
the two black guys, they were paid before to kill tony but he was only
shot in the ear, this was in one of the earlier seasons,
also in the earlier seasons, the trucker who was sitting at the bar
stool, who the camera kept focusing in on, is Nikki leotardo, Phil
Leotardos nephew, he was in one of the early season episodes where Phil
and Tony have a sit down....
heres where the genius comes in....
When tonys walking in the diner,you see the camera focus on him, then
it switches to his perspective, and you see him looking @ the booth hes
gonna sit at...
then the camera switches back to tonys face, then it once again
switches to his perspective, and it shows him looking @ the door and
looking @ the people come in..... Everytime the door opens the Chimes
sound....... Carmela walks in, Chimes, AJ walks in Chimes, this when
Meadows parallel parking, still trying to get inside the restaurant....
at this point the camera switches back to the trucker who goes in the
bathroom......
Then it goes to a scene where meadow finally parks and starts running
in the diner....
the doors about to open, Tony looks up....
and No Chimes......................
No Music............
Everything just goes black...............
In one of the early episodes of the sopranos, tonys talking with bobby
about what it must feel like to die..
Bobby says "at the end, you probably dont hear anything, everything
just goes black"
part of that was revisited in the second to last episode during the
last seconds of it, when tonys about to go to sleep and he flashes back
to the memory of him and bobby on the boat... "You probably dont hear
anything everything just goes black"
so in the end, the Journey song was playing, the chimes on the door
sounded but when meadow came in, the guy in the trucker hat came out and
killed tony...
its the reason you aint hear, or see shit when he died.... it was from
his perspective.... and everything went black, then the credits rolled.
He was killed....in fact, the ending was genius if you've paid attention to the show or
are just a fan of well developed well thought out plots that all tietogether and have the memory of a champ to remember it all. the ending was simple, he got killed, but let me tell yall why and explain in detail... There was 3 people in the room total who had a reason to kill tony.....the two black guys, they were paid before to kill tony but he was only shot in the ear, this was in one of the earlier seasons, also in the earlier seasons, the trucker who was sitting at the bar stool, who the camera kept focusing in on, is Nikki leotardo, Phil Leotardos nephew, he was in one of the early season episodes where Phil and Tony have a sit down....heres where the genius comes in.... When tonys walking in the diner,you see the camera focus on him, then it switches to his perspective, and you see him looking @ the booth hes gonna sit at...then the camera switches back to tonys face, then it once again switches to his perspective, and it shows him looking @ the door and looking @ the people come in..... Everytime the door opens the Chimes sound....... Carmela walks in, Chimes, AJ walks in Chimes, this when Meadows parallel parking, still trying to get inside the restaurant....at this point the camera switches back to the trucker who goes in the bathroom......Then it goes to a scene where meadow finally parks and starts running in the diner....the doors about to open, Tony looks up....and No Chimes......................No Music............Everything just goes black...............In one of the early episodes of the sopranos, tonys talking with bobby about what it must feel like to die..Bobby says "at the end, you probably dont hear anything, everything just goes black". Part of that was revisited in the second to last episode during the last seconds of it, when tonys about to go to sleep and he flashes back to the memory of him and bobby on the boat... "You probably dont hear anything everything just goes black". So in the end, the Journey song was playing, the chimes on the door sounded but when meadow came in, the guy in the trucker hat came out and killed tony...its the reason you aint hear, or see shit when he died.... it was from his perspective.... and everything went black, then the credits rolled.
You decide for yourself. You'll have to, or forever live in confusion. World.
March 7th, 2007
It seems like something important is happening. Just like in the 60's in San Francisco, people knew they were a part of a collective consciousness that seemed to have a meaning for them personally. Something they could grasp hold of and take for a ride. And they were right. As we look back to history, that was a time that had a resounding effect on American culture to this day. Now, I'm not proposing that we're making history here at The Rock of Seattle, but we are making great entertainment. And that's something that people can tangibly take part in. You see, we can throw the party every day and everyone is invited to be a part of it and then in 20 years we'll look back on this era of our lives and regard it as one hell of a kick ass time. We'll look back and realize that we had a cohesive bond of friendship and music and the nucleus of it was KISW. You see, I personally feel that I'm part of more than just a radio station, but a lifestyle that I share with the Rockaholics. When I go to a gig, like, for instance, The Rock Girl Gala, I know that I'm going to share the night with my bretheren and it's going to be a night I'll remember for a long time. It gets me excited. I look forward to it. I mean, this isn't the 60's and we're not spearheading a sexual/musical revolution, but we're making our own history and that's very important. The revolution--whatever that will be--will happen when the time is right, but I'm not going to let these days pass me by without acknowledging that what we're doing is important. Even if to no one else, it's paramount to me and I know it's important to you. World.
March 1st, 2007
As the days and weeks go by, nearly ever day on my show I receive a call from a soft spoken gentleman who has, over time, become somewhat of a household name. And that name is Leonard. Now, it's pretty rare that I mention Leonard in my Blog. He just doesn't stand out like the compelling saga of Otter Pops. He's not as high strung as the Rubber Chicken lady. He doesn't demand your attention like Pink Lamborghini. He's not outlandish like Chinese Pizza, or outrageous like Irish Enchilada. Nope. He quietly goes along in his day, simply outlining the softer delicacies of the delicious nuances of a Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinner. He mildly informs us of the important work that Bob Barker is doing, entertaining the anxious masses with games that bring astonishment and celebration to the wondrous viewers and exuberant contestants on the Price Is Right. Yet, Leonard just lurks on the sidelines of a content existence, like that of a sow, happy to wallow in it's own comfortable surroundings. It is to this Man of unselfish benevolence that we must pay homage in this humble Blog. It's hard to imagine a day without Leonard, not that we would necessarily want to spend a day with him.
February 26th, 2007
I'll tell ya, sometimes I have to pinch myself. Seriously, I don't know if you've ever actually kissed the ground you walk on, but try it sometime. It may just change your perception of things, albeit slightly, but any positive change is good. I honestly don't know how I got myself into this situation. I mean I do, but every once in a while I just have to stop and try to reflect on how it is that an average kid from Nowheretown, USA, made it to the greatest rock station in the country in one of the greatest cities in the country. You can't have a better life than the one I've got--looking forward to coming to work every day to share some kick ass tunes, laughs, comraderie, with the best rock fans alive. I don't know, it's just fun to create the Otter Pop thing. It's fun to sit back and listen to the Rubber Chicken chick go haywire. Somehow, in some strange way, it's fun to listen to Leonard detail his day of the Price is Right and his meals that include, of course, Frozen Salisbury Steak TV Dinners. It's fun to hear a guy who believes he owns a Pink Lamborghini call from the Western Washington State Mental Institution. It's just fun crap man! And it's my life. Thank you for being part of it.
February 21st, 2007
It's been a while since I've updated the status on All My Otter Pops. So, just like the little magazines at the checkout counter at your favorite grocery store, you'll be able to read here and catch up on everything you missed while you were flipping channels and watching Fla-Vor-ice Hospital. These haven't been good times for Alexander the Grape as his marble palace was usurped by none other than...Genghis Grapefruit Kahn! The one time ruler of Macedonia was driven away and ended up receiving amnesty from Poncho Punch at his Mexican Peyote Vinyard. Unfortunately, though, he hasn't had a restful night's sleep as Genghis will not stop until he has the Grape conquerer's head on a steak like a Charm's Blowpop. Genghis' tirade didn't stop in Macedonia, obviously, as he ventured on to the nearest American soil where he was followed by many of his Mongolian Mobsters to open a chain of Mongolian Grills in and around the Miami Metro area. For a short time, Genghis was content with simply combing some of the hotter nightclubs in South Beach with some big stars by the likes of Will Smith and Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat, but the novelty of his newfound celebrity status wore off quickly and he was soon headed toward his unfinished business that lay in Mexico. And now, as he informed us last week, Sir Isaac Lime has found himself somewhat impartial to the happenings, but knows that he needs to take some accountability in the matter before the entire world of Otter Pops melts into sugar water. Strawberry Shortkook has also professed that she must take a more active role in these international affairs, but one can ever really trust her as we're all uncertain as to whether, or not, she was directly responsible for the events leading up the the theft of Alexander the Grape's freezer stocked with Otter Pops--the event that set off this entire quandry. What happens next is yet to be seen! You'll just have to catch the next episode of........All My Otter Pops.
February 12th, 2007
In this modern world of reality television, we try to find some semblance of sanity through music--even though, sometimes, the music sets the mood for the dysfunction. Music keeps us entertained without having to become too personally committed. It's the music that adds meaning to the moments, especially when the two share the same tone, or idea. And I provide the music. I do it in my own personal, enigmatic way. I try to give the delivery a purpose so that it makes the entire exchange matter more than if it were a hollow introduction like an award presenter reading from a cue card. And the reason I take pride in presentation is because I love the music as much as you do. When I was in grade school, I was told that out of all our human senses, smell was the one that evoked memory more than any other. I disagree. I've always believed it to be the sense of sound. Nothing can harken you back to a memory than the sound of your mother's voice, the sound of your old rotary telephone ringing, or the sound of a song. Memories are very important in life. We have emotion which is an indelible human characteristic. We take sensitivity to a very important level in our lives and music can evoke many of those emotions--good, or bad. However the emotions come from you, because of music, be thankful that you feel. Be thankful that the music, the sounds, still live inside of you like an unborn baby surviving from your nurturing.
February 7th, 2007
Well, I'm finally over my hangover and can now piece together the events of the past 11 days that I've spent in not so sunny Florida. Whew, what a whirlwind--literally. Yeah, I was right down the road about 70 miles when the tornado hit near Orlando. I was watching t.v. when a huge gust came barelling over my Homeboy's house amidst a 4:20 safety check. The sound was that of a freight train and needless to say, it was a little alarming. I felt badly for the tree that had it's ass end up in the morning out in the front yard, but I was glad it wasn't me. Anyway, let's get to the good stuff. Miami was blowing up. Friday night the I hit Shaquille O'Neal's party at the Versace mansion and met Jessica Biel. The next day she stood me up for lunch, but it's all good. There were plenty of South Beach models to make up for her absence. In fact, I met Nelly, the rapper, at Niki Beach, this kick ass club built into the sand with beds and flowing white tapestries and beach chairs and all, and he invited me back that night for Ludacris' party that was to be hosted by Cindy Margolis and her Big, Fat, Giant, Juicy, Jiggly kickballs. I saw promise in this event, so I took him up on the invite. Tickets were face valued at $750 and the cocktails were free because he gave me a VIP pass, so I proceeded to drink Jaeger shots until I turned black. This, of course, gave me the liquid courage that I needed to approach Cindy and drool on her kickballs. She was cool as hell and totally down to party, so we scampered to the stage just when Luda was goin' off! Unfortunately, her wicked, publicist bitch cockblocked me, though. Super Sunday was cool, but the rain sucked. The stadium was full of Snowbirds--midwestern tourists--and the real party was at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino nearby. So I hit it immediately after the game because I had met a chick that was a Washington Redskins Chearleader on Saturday at the beach and she was gonna be there with the rest of their team of hotties. It was Marshal Faulk's party, and being a fellow San Diego State alumni, he was totally cool with letting me join. Everyone was so hammered, it was great! The chicks were totally booty dancing on the tables, big fakies everywhere, too! I didn't think I could drink anymore, but I found inspiration in a Jaeger/RedBull and a very drunk, very horny Redskins Chearleader. Allah is great!!!
January 23rd, 2007
The new year is now in full swing and everything's pretty much the same as it was before. Sorry, Gangster, but this whole business about "a new optimism" just because we hang a new calender on the wall is garbage. You gotta make your own breaks in life and they start with treating yourself, and people you care about, to treats that make you happy. Now a lot of people might consider that to be a momentary respite from reality during High Noon, which is pretty much right on track. Others might consider it going to the bowling alley, or a ball game, or watching 24 on tv. I'm cool with that, too. However, in my opinion, nothing gets you in the perfect frame of mind for thinking positively and getting things done...like delving into an ice cold Otter Pop. And today on the air, I had a quick, however exciting, visitation from none other than Sir Isaac Lime. He's the new object of affection of Britany Spears, evidently. She dumped one Isaac for another. Bad news for Isaac Cohen, LA model--good news for Sir Isaac Lime, North pole otter pop steward. Or is it? Is this the celebrity status that Sir Isaac Lime is looking for, or will this ruin his career? Stay tuned to find out!
January 18th, 2007
Happy birthday to Jonathon Davis from Korn today! He turns 36 years old, but a man will never grow old as long as he's a rock star married to a porn star, that's for sure. He's a Gangster. I remember the first time I heard "Blind". I was like, wow, that's kick ass--I need more of that in my life, ya know. So today, to honor a man of original rock style, I kicked off High Noon with that exact song. Lately, I've been on this kick to make things a little more of a celebration on my show, so I've been searching for ways to freshen up the line-up. Last week, in honor of Jimmy Page's birthday, I played a song from each of Zeppelin's studio albums during the 11 o'clock hour. Then, 2 days later, to commemorate the 15th anniversary of Nirvana's Nevermind knocking Michael Jackson's Dangerous from the #1 spot on the Billboard charts, I played the album in it's entirety. Why the hell not? I mean, I haven't kissed ass my entire career to get to this position of power only to let it go to waste. Oh yeah, check it out. My friend, Johnny Bacolas, the bass player for the Seattle band, Second Coming, sent me this flyer of one of the only Mad Season shows ever performed. I scanned it to put it here to share it with you. Cool as hell. Rock on forever, Layne!
January 16th, 2007
I haven't been able to write anything in this blog since Sunday due to immense dissapointment and a lack of words due to the Seahawks terrible defeat at the hands of the lowly Bears. It brought back memories of last year's Superbowl when, for a moment, you felt like we were going to win the game and celebrate immensely with unbridled pride--only to be dropped from the top of the mountain to a perilous death within minutes. Oh, the Humanity!!! Well, I do have this to say, though, 12th Man. I'd rather have it settled on the field between the players rather than from the lowly referees. Ya know? At least we lost it fairly rather than having it swiped away from us so the league could relish their ratings from giving the storybook ending to Jerome Bettis and the Pittsburgh Stealers. This morning I was riding up the elevator to the studio and happened to get on board with defensive end, Grant Wistrom, who was appearing on the BJ Shea Morning Experience. I could see the pain in his eyes as I told him that he played a hell of a game. He appreciated the comment, but you could sense that this one hurt almost as badly as last year, but the difference in the two pains was that in being beaten fairly and being cheated. And this leads me to know that we all feel the same, because we're all a part of the same family. Like when someone in the family dies, everyone had a different relationship, but the hurt is relatively the same. Time will pass, however, and there will be a next season. Stay strong, 12th Man, and know that when your time does eventually come it will be fiercely deserved.
January 11th, 2007
Well, if there's one positive thing to come out of a childhood that suffered a broken marriage with a father that was a womanizer and had a career as a disc jockey, it is that it produced a man who knows how to throw down. That's me. I can host a kick ass party. I love to drink Jaegermeister. I love beautiful women. And I love my brethren. Therefore, with the rubber chicken in attendance, The Ricker Seagal Signing Penthouse Party was a true rager. All the rockaholics that won the golden ticket had a blast. The one's that didn't have to go back to work, like my Gangster Mr. Freeze, got hammered. The Crown Royal was floatin'! And, of course, the Baby Gir's... What a bunch of beautiful sweeties, every guy's fantasy girlfriend. The Seattle Seahawks Cheerleaders! The Seagals. And last, but not least, everyone sucked down several delicious Otter Pops. World!
Click here to check out photos from my Seagals Autograph party!
January 8th, 2007
Let's Go SEAHAWWWWWWWWKS!!! What an amazing game, Gangster. I'm still reeling. You've gotta admit, we had it coming, though. After we choked away the Arizona, San Fran and Diego games, you had the feeling we weren't going to let it happen to us again. Even if Romo holds down the ball and Gramatica kicks the field goal through, You still had to feel like we had a good chance of winning with more than a minute left and Matt Hasselbeck at the helm. It sure as hell was nice to not have to even worry about it, though. See ya, Dallas. Have a nice off season, Jerry Jones, spending some more of your big Texas money on a phantom championship. They haven't won a playoff game in 10 years and, in my opinion, it couldn't happen to a better bunch of guys. Ha! Even if we get pummelled by Chicago, at least we sent the Cowboys home. Terrell Owens, not a factor. Boy, he didn't have much to say after the game, either, did he. Where's the mouth now, T.O.? Hey, Jerry Jones, where's Keyshaun when you need him? He he he... Oh, Man, what a great feeling. It's fricken great to be a Seahawks fan right now. So, oh yeah, tomorrow, the Seagals come in for my little penthouse party I'm throwing after defeating Sequoia in Ricker's Pickers. I'll post a bunch of pictures for you, Big Baller. 'Til then, Ginormous Player!!! (check out the pic with my Dog Mo Yosef of US Home Mortgage at www.truezerodown.com ).
January 3rd, 2007
Happy New Year, Gangsters and Gir's! It feels pretty damn great to have successfully made it through another year to tell the stories. And it also feels pretty damn great to have beaten the delicious Seagal, Sequoia, in the challenge known as Ricker's Pickers. That's right, it's been a long arduous road to victory, but the final dagger has been planted and your negro has been crowned Champion!!!! Therefore, my Ginormous Gangster, the pennance must be paid in full. The loser, the temptress, Sequoia, must uphold her promise and attend a get-together with her feathered friends from the NFC Champion Seattle Seahawks for a ho-down of a throw-down! I've been planning for this. I've decided that instead of holding the party (where the ladies will assuredly sign autographs and seal them with their aromatic breath) at a bar, I'm going to present this wondrous event to my Gangsters right here at the radio station. Exactly! Why hold it in a medial site where the entire event will be impersonal? No way, I'm having it right here in my own living room where you can hang with the girls, me, and be a part of the action by taking place in my on-air-broadcast. It's goin' down next tuesday, the 9th, and the only way to get in is to win tickets on my show. 10 Gangsters and their guests are gonna help me celebrate with food and good comradarie. You'll go home with some Seahawks Schwag and some KISW Schwag, to boot. Register to win on here on my home page, or do it on air during my show. Kick ass, Big Baller!!!
December 26th, 2006
Well, it's the day after Christmas and I've got to say that I love doing the Top 999 countdown, Man. It's refreshing to hear some of these tunes once a year. Ya know what I mean, like, I don't want to hear a lot of them every day, but I love being caught a little off guard. That's something I like to pride myself in, is doing just that--being somewhat unpredictable for my listeners. However, once a year, it's my turn to be surprised and it makes me love this music that much more. So, I hope you got what you wanted for Christmas. I got a 4 pack of Red Bulls and $20 gift card for Hollywood Video from Mom. Sgt. Hairclub gave everybody a kick ass bottle of red wine which I will swill with a particular Baby Girl. And this Rockahaulic chick named Dirt Hauler gave me a bottle of ice cold Jaegermeister. And, of course, Sir Isaac Lime bestowed a fresh box of Otter Pops on me, the generous little green fellow. I couldn't be happier! And now if new Years Eve would hurry up, I can open the Jaegy and the Otter Pops... Happy Holidays!
December 20th, 2006
I'm furious! I just wrote a long-ass blog entry, went to save it, and the computer tweeked out and erased everything I wrote. Oh, well, you really didn't miss anything. I basically informed you about how during my last 4 days of being bed-ridden with the flu, I was beginning to refer to myself as "Precious" in my fevered state. Yeah. Listen, I don't care how sick you get, when your eyes begin bugging out like Gollum because you haven't left your crib in 4 days, you may want to walk out back for some fresh air. That's why I came back to do my radio show when I should still be home in bed. I couldn't take it any more. Believe me, when you do this for a living and you take pride in your program, it becomes a necessity for your happiness. If I go too long without feeling the love from my Gangster Rockaholics, I get detatched and depressed. I love doing my show. Believe it!
December 15th, 2006
I know I inform you on the air about how you can catch up with your knowledge of All My Otter Pops on this fantastic blog, so here's what's happening, Gangster. It was a big week in the particular developements that affect the characters that have become so famous in the 10 o'clock hour on my program. Sir Isaac Lime phoned in from Disneyworld where he ran into none other than...GENGHIS GRAPEFRUIT KAHN! The dreaded warlord was first seen in the china section of the It's A Small World ride and there, he and Sir Isaac Lime, broke bread. Now, it seems, they plan to invest in one another's product, creating a possible merger between their respective flavors since grapefruits and limes can both be harvested in the state of Florida. Meanwhile, Biggie Figgie is unhappy with the potential influx of immigrants making their way from Mongolia to Miami where many of his gangsters live. Being the street entreprenuer, however, he has considered the possibility of a spike in the crack business, or possibly opening a chain of Mongolian restaurants.
December 12th, 2006
Wow, Man, I'll bet you never expected the Rubber Chicken Chick to be this fine, did you? Broskie, she's got fat kickballs, too! And the best thing about her is that if you're hangin' out with her and you wanna brighten up the moment, all you have to do is bust out your rubber chicken, squeeze it, let it loose and watch her absolutely lose it in an epileptic seizure. Now that's comedy. She's just writhing and wriggling on the floor in complete hysterics, unable to compose herself in any way. Then, she stops, gets up, brushes herself off and goes about her business as if nothing ever happened. That is, until you bust out the rubber chicken again when she least expects it. Squeeze, release, mass hysteria. Oh, it's like a little wind-up toy, only better. You've never seen someone react in a complete frenzy from such a little antic. But hey, it works for me. I mean, I've seen it in person. I wasn't sure what to think of her until she showed up at the Holiday Hangover Ball. And she actually came on stage with me. And I did the rubber chicken. It worked like clockwork. And if you don't believe it, just ask anyone that was there. Go ahead, ask. This is a real phenomenon. Amazing, I know. It's poetry in motion...
Rubber chicken lady!
December 7th, 2006
World. My sincere affectations of my favorite segment, "All My Otter Pops", makes it difficult to side in this continuing drama that unfolds daily on my show. Now, it is clear that there are real divisions within the ranks and former alliances that once held the family of Otter Pops so cohesively together. Sir Isaac Lime phoned in today to inform me of his business trip to Orlando, Florida, to meet with Little Orphan Orange for this forthcoming season's quality check for his delicious icy elixer, the Sir Isaac Lime Otter Pop. Sir Isaac Lime, like Juan Valdez in his field of coffee beans, specifically hand picks only the juiciest, ripest Key Limes for the 2007 vintage of Otter Pops. However, as Sir Isaac Lime spends his days in the bliss of the Florida sun, basking amongst the fruits, what happens in the Persian Desert? We all know that Alexander the Grape pleaded to forge an unyielding alliance, but the limey one has yet to respond and now it seems that the point is entirely moot. Alexander the Grape is on his own against the dreaded villain, GENGHIS GRAPEFRUIT KAHN!!! How will this battle unfold? Only time will tell. One thing's for certain, though, and that it is clear that there is a double agent amongst the ranks. Is it Strawberry Shortkook? Is it the frenchman, Louie Blue Rasberry? Or is it the newest addition to the clan, Biggie Figgie, the rapper with the dark wrapper? And who will this double agent benefit? We'll find out shortly, but in the meantime, Sir Isaac Lime seems aloof to it all, only concerned about the quality of his beloved ice cold treat. However, who can blame him--all the world loves a delicious, fruity Otter Pop!
December 4th, 2006
Well, now that the Holiday Hangover Ball is over, everyone around the radio station is in a really tragic mood. It's kind of like Christmas night. You put all this preparation and anticipation into the day, you got surprised, you felt the excitement of sharing good times, everyone got dressed up, everyone partied.........and now.......nothing. Another normal day ahead. You've got a trash receptacle full of crumpled paper. Back to square one. Wait a minute! Hold on!! First, before we sell ourselves down the river and totally give up on any hope for mankind, we can recount the events! Well, for me, personally, it lived up to every expectation. The costumes were unbelievable, the chicks were fine as hell and the music was atomic! I had the rubber chicken on stage only to then call the rubber chicken lady up to the microphone. You could hear a pin drop. At that time I proclaimed, hands raised in the air, "Behold, the Rubber Chicken!" Then, I proceeded to call the Rubber Chicken Lady on stage as she nervously approached the microphone. "Behold, the Rubber Chicken Lady!" I blew off the rubber chicken and she lost her mind. I swear to Buddha, it was phenomenal. She totally lost her cookies, screaming, panting, nearly having an epileptic siezure. Then I exited the stage. The crowd stayed silent. Saliva entered the stage. The crowd went nuts. What a party.
December 1st, 2006
Well, tonight is the night we've all been waiting for. I feel like that dude right there. To the left, Arnold, from Different Strokes. Like the anticipation's gonna fricken kill me. Like I just ate 'shrooms and I've got the eebie jeebies. Like you're not exactly sure what's gonna happen, but you know it's gonna be wondrous. Like you're a kid in the car with your parents driving to Disney. You're not there yet, but you're getting close. You're trying to keep your cool, but it's difficult. Tonight is the Holiday Hangover Ball, our biggest gathering of the year. A lot of preparation has gone into this event--not just the booking of bands, the decorations, the planning, the rehearsals for the New Originals, but the anticipation of meeting my gangsters. The one's like you who listen every day that I never get to actually touch with my eyes, but have to imagine. This is the biggest part of the anticipation. The reason is because I always get excited when I'm gonna meet new people which whom I share a common thread. And one thing's for sure...you can never have too many friends. World.
Novermber 27th, 2006
What a day for rockaholics! Not only did the Seattle Seahawk's Blue Thunder join me for a special edition of High Noon today, but we also celebrated Jimi Hendrix 64th birthday (see attatched pics for full effect). The highlight of the day, without question, was kicking off the hour with Blue Thunder chiming in to Jimi's Fire. There's no radio station in the country that can pull off that kind of action. There's one thing I learn more and more every day and that is how proud the people of this radio station are of their heritage. You crazy bastards love the Hawks and you love the Rock!!
Btw, how'd you like my podcast last week? Well, now you get one every week, Gangster. World.
Click here for more pictures!
November 22nd, 2006
An amazing developement occured in today's episode of...All My Otter Pops. Strawberry Shortkook made a rare appearance to discuss the developements that have taken precedence on the show. These are important times for the family of Otters. The events that are now unfolding could change the landscape for years to come. And as we find out more and more of the seedy underbelly that exists, no one knows who they can trust. Alexander The Grape has thrown on the Gold chest plate and picked up the ruby laden sword to prepare for battle against the dreaded.....GENGHIS GRAPEFRUIT KAHN! Strawberry Shortkook admitted that, in her flighty lack of concentration, she may have made an incorrect assumption in the disappearance of Alexander The Grape's missing freezer. She understands that she is Kooky, but what an alarming oversight! Or is it just an act? Is she really a double agent working with GENGHIS GRAPEFRUIT KAHN! Meanwhile, we wait in the wings for Sir Isaac Lime's response to all of this. The saga continues...
High Noon is my favorite hour of the day. I really appreciate all the working men and women out there who make it happen. Even if you don't call in, I know what it takes to accomplish a work week and the fact that you rely on me, however little, to help get you through, means the world to me. Happy High Noon!
You Rockaholic Club Members, enjoy my very first edition of Ricker's Podcast featuring Chinese Pizza and other Slices of Life! And if you're looking for the gangster gift for your favorite gangster, go the the KISW Rock shop for the Ricker t-shirts including the brand new Rubber Chicken T!
And have a Happy Turkey day!!!! World,.
November 20th, 2006
In the world of radio, there are winners and...well, there are no losers. Radio is free, you get entertained without having to pay anything. So, let's just say there are winners and bigger winners! The bigger winners are those that are lucky enough to get tickets to the Holiday Hangover Ball. Keep trying, Ginormous Baller, I want to see you there. Now, I can tell you this, even though I'm not supposed to let the cat out of the bag early--that I will be hosting another on-site chance for you to score this elusive ticket just in case you missed the Big Baller First Grab at the Cedarwood in Fife a couple weeks ago (live rock there every friday night). There will be a Big Baller Last Grab on the 30th, the night before the event. And it's, most likely, going to be in Everett, but nothing is confimed at this time. I'll let you know as soon as I know, Gangster.
Did you catch the rubber chicken chick today? She confessed that she got high last night and that she couldn't tell a lie and deceive me about it, even though I didn't even ask. SHOCKER!! It was at that time, as she slowly lost her sense of caution while she rambled sentence after sentence of jibberish, that I surprised her with an ear curdling scream from the famous rubber chicken. She squealed with exasperated surprise. SHOCKER!! God I love doing that. Why? Because it has the same effect on her as it would with anyone else if you put a fricken taratnula on their shoulder and shot if off with a handgun. I don't know, man. One day, I'll probably actually meet her and if so, watch out for the whoopie cushion. I've got to get video of that action. Amen.
November 16th, 2006
Ok, I'm not at the radio station and I'm not thinking about my show right now. I hit happy hour at Peso's and came home and rented the Break Up with my girl (check her out on my myspace page rickerdj!). I'm writing from the styly penthouse condo presently. What a bummer of a movie. I mean it was pretty funny in parts, especially John Favereau's character, but the material hit a little too close to home at times. I mean the arguments they have are too fricken realistic. Especially when you're watching it with a chick and you want to get a little action midway through the flick. I mean, a couple cocktails at happy hour and I'm feeling like a little exercise, ya know?
So, on the show today, the rubber chicken chick called in again. Man, that woman's like a pachinco machine--just launch the ball and see where it bounces. I don't care what you say, either, I could hear that chick get the rubber chicken a million times and still laugh my ass off. It never gets old!
Hey, there will be a brand new Rubber Chicken t-shirt available soon at the Rock Shop, just in time to piss everyone off for the holidaze. Also, next week, Ricker's podcast featuring Chinese Pizza and other slices of life debuts!!!
November 14th 2006
Amazing, it is, how the world can be such a conflicting place. As territories and greed become one in the same, the political positioning of certain superpowers are inevitable. It's the impending doom, with which we are now concerned, that lies in the near future for the one time conquerer of Macedonia, Alexander the Grape. Genghis Grapefruit Kahn is certain to take advantage of his lack of preparation for an all out assault on his people and his palace. Of course, it was a telltale sign in the beginning of this saga when Alexander the Grape's freezer went missing, that the Asian invader was weekening his defenses preparing for this invasion. His art of deceit was masterful. As Alexander the Grape spent his valuable energy on the ludicrous, unfounded possibility that the harmless Sir Isaac Lime could have committed the crime, Genghis Grapefruit Kahn was preparing his militaristic strategy. Was Alexander the Grape deceived by Strawberry Shortkook with her lackadasical story of how she thought it was Little Orphan Orange and Louie Blue Blueberry that pulled off the heist? Certainly, if he was, it was an absurd miscalculation. One that could cost him dearly. As Alexander the Grape pleads for an alliance with Sir Isaac Lime, it could be point made too late. The saga will continue to unfold tomorrow on...All My Otterpops!
Otherwise, on the show, Lennard had 8 frozen salisbury steak tv dinners yesterday and got some gravy on his undersized wifebeater.
I can't wait for the Holiday Hangover Ball, Man. I'm putting together the pimp gear and I'll be rollin' up in a brand new stretch Chrysler 300 Limosine, Beeatch! World.
Don't forget, the Ricker Chinese Pizza t-shirts are available at the Rockshop at KISW.COM.
November 8th, 2006
World. This is the very first blog that I've ever written. I'm at a loss. Well, then. Hmmmm. Oh, last time at band camp... Yeah right. So it is here that I'll toil over the days events that took place on the show and in my personal life, as well.
On the air, the saga between the family of Otter Pops is turning into a rapturous affair. Alexander the Grape has made it clear that the Macedonian forensics team has concluded, with evidence, that Sir Isaac Lime is not a suspect in the disappearance of his beloved freezer that is ever so important to the delicious status of his beloved frozen treats. However, Genghis Grapefruit Khan has emerged as a suspect. Sir Isaac Lime was elated to be exonerated, but his appeal for allegience hasn't been met with open arms as he's never been one to wage war for any reason. Is he bitter? Well, when Strawberry Shortkook called to lay testimony to having witnessed Alexander The Grape's freezer, she didn't implicate Sir Isaac Lime, but instead it was Louie Blue Blueberry and Little Orphan Orange that stood accused of the drastic deed. Is this the reason for Sir Isaac Lime's lack of willingness to join in alliance, or is it that he just doesn't care about anything other than producing more Otter Pops for the wondrous faithful? Stay tuned as the opera plays out...
Stay tuned for my poscast coming soon!
