Yesterday during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Jonathon who was getting called a wuss over letting certain people back into his life.
Nine years ago, his fiancé at the time, his son who was one at the time, and himself went on vacation to San Diego to visit his brother. During that week on vacation, his fiancé and brother fell in love and needless to say he returned to Seattle alone.
A year later, they were married and the brothers despised each other.
Jonathon stayed in his son’s life, paid child support, and developed a great relationship with his son.
After a long custody battle, his ex won custody and returned to San Diego with Jonathon’s brother.
Last Mother’s Day, his brother reached out to apologize and ask for forgiveness. John said that he would never trust him again and forgiveness would take time.
Fast forward seven months to now, Jonathon has forgiven his brother and his ex and even had them over for the holidays. It was awkward at first but it turned out to be a great visit.
The problem is, his friends know what is going on and think he’s weak for forgiving these people and forgiving them.
The key to being a good friend is never telling your friends what to do. Instead, explain to them what has happened in your own life and how you dealt with things yourself. That is the key difference.
It seems like we all do this; especially about things we have no idea about. It’s like that uncle that gives you financial advice and has no money himself.
If you support your friends instead of telling them how to live their lives, you’ll have stronger bonds.
Bj, I think it is amazing that he was able to forgive. It took some time and he was honest about his feelings when approached for forgiveness. Now he has forgiven and it appears his family is better for it. As for his friends, they should be there supporting him and not judging him. There may be some rough times ahead for him and his true friends he will need to get through them.