BJ'S BLOG 01/05/12 "Keep Your Hands to Yourself"
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Tonya who was concerned about something her boyfriend was doing.
Tonya explained that her boyfriend has a group of friends, and in this group, there are three girls who are sisters. When she was hanging out with them, Tonya noticed her boyfriend was a little more touchy feely with one of the sisters; he would rub her shoulders, arms, head, etc.
Tonya was worried that he was attracted to this woman and wasn’t sure if and/or how she should confront her boyfriend about her feelings.
As a man, I know that chances are he is attracted to this girl. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop finding other people attractive, but if you are an honorable person, you don’t act on your feelings and urges.
If I find a woman attractive, I don’t put myself in any situation where I can come in physical contact with her because I don’t want to get turned on, and as we all know, when a guy gets turned on, it’s hard for him to get out of that mode. I have too much respect for my wife.
Personally I don’t believe that anyone should be touching anyone of the opposite sex if you’re not dating them. You won’t have to worry about anyone receiving the wrong message if you just keep your hands to yourself.
Tonya just needs to tell her boyfriend how she feels, that way he can make the decision whether he wants to be with her or wants to continue being able to hang out the way he does with his female friends. If he says he will stop doing this but doesn’t, then that shows lack of respect to Tonya and she should just ditch him and move on to find someone who does respect her.