BJ Shea

 BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 01/14/14 "On a Break"

What up my fellow Rock-A-Holics? It’s time for another almost amazing Group Therapy.
We heard from Katie, who hooked up with her best friend’s ex on New Year’s Eve.  Katie says she felt a little bad about it at the time, but she felt a lot worse when her friend showed up at a Seahawks party a few days later…with the no-longer-ex ex-boyfriend in tow.
Katie discreetly pulled the guy aside to talk, and he asked her not to reveal their fling; as far as Katie’s best friend knows, the boyfriend didn’t hook up with anyone during that little break in their relationship. Now, Katie is feeling conflicted: She doesn’t want to lie to her friend, but she knows the truth could have some very serious consequences.
When we discussed this on the show, the general consensus was leaning in favor of Katie keeping the secret. If a couple is on a break, and both parties are free to do whatever they’d like, then it’s probably best to let those things remain a secret. There’s something to be said for keeping your eyes on the road ahead, especially when you’re rebuilding a relationship that has struggled a little along the way.
On the other hand, there does seem to be a question about the real strength of the friendship between Katie and her BFF. Is your best friend’s ex “fair game” if they’re no longer together? How about a 5-second rule?
I’d love to hear your thoughts, and don’t worry – what happens in Group Therapy stays in Group Therapy. It’s just between you, me, and this massive legion of Rock-A-Holics.

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01/14/2014 6:59AM
BJ'S BLOG 01/14/14 "On a Break"
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01/14/2014 11:22AM
Best Friends are like Relationships
I think the above statement is true, there will be ups and downs. In the end if they are truly your best friend they will remain that way, there will be some hurt at the start an possibly a "break" but after some time she would understand. But in the past the Rock-A-Holics have discussed is it ok to "date a friends ex?", I remember the majority vote was it was not ok. I however disagree, they are no longer together and the fact is they should understand that they need to move on. But then I would say the friend also needs to wait a good few months before trying to date a friends ex, it would help to know how long after the break-up this happened. 1) It was New Years Eve, people drink and do stupid things. 2) Katie should tell her friend. Not doing so will just hurt things in the long run, better she finds out from her then the bf. They could end up fighting and he could end up letting it be said, and the the best-friend will already be mad due to the fight & now there is extra fuel added to the fire. 3) Was it stupid of Katie to do so? Yeah, it was. But to be old and wise first you must be young and stupid.
01/14/2014 11:40AM
Katie should know that exs are a no fly zone... That being said, the guy should of been honest that something happened on the break but not with who.
01/14/2014 12:24PM
Its not that ex's aren't a No fly zone. Thats a Pure rule of ignorance. Just because you a
Its not that ex's aren't a No fly zone. Thats a Pure rule of ignorance. Just because you and your ex don't work. Doesn't mean they wouldn't work with someone you know. Its more fucked up to act like a child with a toy and be like NO ONE CAN PLAY WITH THIS BECAUSE I'M NOT DONE WITH IT YET! even though I haven't talked to it in 6 months. Now that being said, how long were they ex's? Thats the important question here. Sometimes it takes a few months to resolve some stupid issue. If its 6months then Katie is in the clear and should have told her FRIEND when it happened.
01/21/2014 11:39AM
forget my exs too!!!!!
01/24/2014 7:25AM
RE: Its not that ex's aren't a No fly zone...
I think it only was a few weeks, maybe a month that they were apart. I think its more of a respect thing. Wait until your friend is healed and no longer has feelings before you jump into bed with their ex. I personally think the friend liked the boyfriend from the beginning. -
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