Yesterday, we helped out Rock-A-Holic Allison with an issue she was having with her boyfriend about their sex life.
Allison has been dating her boyfriend for about a month and she thought it would be fun to “spice things up” in the bedroom. Last week, she decided to try stuff from the erotic romance novel 50 Shades of Grey.
For those who don’t know, 50 Shades of Grey is the erotic story about a college graduate, featuring sexual practices involving bondage, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism that is based in Seattle.
She says he was really into it at first, but the next day he started behaving differently towards her. In fact, he has been acting distant towards her all week. Allison was confused because she thought guys like it when girls act crazy and kinky in bed.
I’ve said this before, when a guy is aroused, he loses rational thinking. It is a hormonal thing that happens in men, not in women. Sometimes men will do things they wouldn’t do if they were not aroused and thinking rationally.
That’s probably what happened here with Allison’s boyfriend; he was horny, got excited about the idea of having sex so he did these “kinkier things” and then when his rational thinking returned the next day, he realized that maybe all the things he did were not for him.
It’s really important for women to understand this so they don’t take it personally; women go through irrational thinking sometimes because of their hormones and the same goes for us guys, it just occurs in different aspects.
It sounds like her boyfriend felt 50 shades of embarrassed the next day.
It could be possible that he is much less sexually comfortable with himself or got emasculated by her during some of their extra curricular activities.
You also mention they have only been dating for a month and these sort of things may have just been too soon. You would expect someone dating for a month to still be having "fun" sex as their relationship is new.