A Rock-A-Holic named Tim emailed in looking for some Group Therapy help.
Tim had quite the argument with his girlfriend while trying to make vacation plans for the summer.
It started when he mentioned that they should go to Maui and his girlfriend said NO!
The reason she doesn’t want to go to Maui is because she knows that Tim and an ex went there on vacation before. She’s afraid that during the vacation she is going to be constantly be thinking about what they were doing last time, if Tim is having more fun this time, etc.
He wanted to know if his girlfriend has a point and it’s not ok to go on vacation to the same place you took an ex.
This is a big thing for some women; they don’t like to be compared or put up against other women for any reason.
I’ve actually thought about this before that if for whatever reason my wife wasn’t in my life anymore and I was with someone else, would I take them to my favorite vacation spot?
This is really a big thing for some women. I love Hawaii and I really love where we stay because it’s a nice place, a good value, and I feel comfortable there.
I think a good rule of thumb is to wait a year after the break up to start taking your significant other to the places you once went to with an ex; that way, you’ve had time to heal from the last relationship and being at these places won’t spark painful memories.
I think this is going to entirely depend on the current significant other. If she expresses she is uncomfortable with then no it is not ok because she will not enjoy herself. I would say Tim explore one of the other islands with this girl so that everything can be fresh to both of you and you can enjoy it as an experience for just the two of you. Can you honestly say that going to the same places again will not bring up old memories of the last trip? I've never had an issue with my Hubby and I going places he took his exes but I am secure in the fact that I am much more fun and out going I know that the experiences we make together hold much more meaning than anything he ever did with them lol
Wait a year?
Cripes if I had to wait a year before returning places that I went to with an ex-girlfriend I'd have to have left the State of Washington..
She can get over it - it speaks to her self-confidence in their relationship and her insecurities. Not to him and what he's thinking about.
Not an Issue
I have never thought of going on a vacation where my current SO has taken an ex to be an issue whatsoever. He actually wants to take me on an Alaskan cruise that he and his ex went on. While he really did enjoy himself on the cruise, he thinks that he would have a much better time with me than he did with her.