BJ Shea

 BJ Shea


BJ'S BLOG 02/09/10 "Helicopter Parents"

Yesterday on the show, I read an article talking about “helicopter parents.” We’ve all seen parents like this; these are the parents who are overly involved, overbearing, who call their kid’s schools and coaches about everything and hover over everything their children do.

You would think once the kids grew up, the parents would let them make their own choices and mistakes, but this is not the case. There are parents now who hover over their kids in the work place to the point where they are sending out resumes for them (sometimes without the kid knowing) and calling their kid’s bosses.

My generation and generations since are very much like this and I myself have worked hard to not become a helicopter parent. We were just trained to do this; “Don’t let your kids go outside or places alone.”  We were brow beaten into being overly involved in our kid’s lives.

At some point, kids need to figure it out and they can’t do that if we’re always giving them the answers and solutions to their life problems.

For example, my two kids are both going their own way in life and I’m trying my best not helicopter over them. Even when they ask for help and expect me to do things for them, I might tell them a “white lie” about being unable to help because I want them to achieve their own successes and failures.

If you are a helicopter parent and are calling up your kid’s possible employers, telling them to hire your child, it will hurt their chances. They need to be able to show leadership skills and when “mommy” or “daddy” do everything for them, it shows a complete lack of those skills. 

 



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02/09/2012 7:19AM
BJ'S BLOG 02/09/10 "Helicopter Parents"
Please Enter Your Comments Below
02/09/2012 2:06PM
An old article agreeing with you :)
.psychologytoday.com/articles/200411/nation-wimps
02/10/2012 1:57PM
Watching the change...
BJ: I grew up in the 80's. My parents let me stay out until the street lights came on, without checking in, drink from the hose, play "war" with realistic looking toy guns, and swim in the pool unsupervised. I was fine. Then a funny thing happened: the 90's. While my parents did let me "run wild" as a kid, when I got into High School everything changed. I had to come straight home from school, do homework, couldn't go out with friends...even worse, it seemed like she was calling the school once a month to complain about either something I was doing, or something that was being done to me. She complained about books I had to read, food I had to eat.. one time she even wrote a note demanding I be allowed to go home for lunch (in a closed campus) to make sure I ate right. There may have been times I liked it, but in the end I think I resented it. I think it caused a huge rebellion after high school and now my relationship with my mom sucks. I talk to her MAYBE once a month and see her maybe 4-5 times a year. But hey, at least she stays out of my professional life. I wonder if it was worth it... Jason, Kenmore, WA
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