BJ'S BLOG 02/27/13 "Facebook Status and Death"
Yesterday we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Cassie who was having issues with her boyfriend and his Facebook relationship status.
Cassie’s boyfriend is a widower; his wife passed away three years ago and Cassie and him have been together for two years.
To this day, he still hasn’t changed his Facebook relationship status from “widowed” to “in a relationship.”
Every time she brings it up, it turns into a huge fight. He says that the reason he hasn’t changed his status is because he is not ready to answer the questions from his friends and family about their relationship.
She wanted to know if she should be as hurt as offended as she’s feeling or try to be more understanding.
I remember when people used to have to wait a long time after their spouse passed away before they started seeing someone else.
That happened in my family; my dad used to get grief because he moved on to quickly in other people’s eyes and I have a feeling that her boyfriend doesn’t want the same thing to happen to him.
Death is a powerful issue and societal morays are a powerful issue so it makes sense that this is an enormously difficult topic.
It says “till death do us part” and I think it’s ridiculous to be mad at someone who is trying to move on from death. Why would anyone get pissed when you moved on to another relationship at a time where it is “acceptable?”
It’s ludicrous when a family member or friend says they don't like the new person just because they feel like they are “replacing” their lost loved one. They need to realize that expecting a widowed person to stay single forever is a selfish thing. Death sucks, but you need to find a way to get over it; go see a counselor to get through the grieving process.
Nothing infuriates me more than someone who keeps pining over a death. News flash, it happens to everyone! I had to experience it at a young age when I lost my parents.
I'm having a great life, and I'm not going to screw that up over death.
That being said, Cassie shouldn’t be pushing her boyfriend to do something that is painful to him over something of little importance. What she should see is how much he cares about her and that he’s with her, not a stupid Facebook status.