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Hey there, Rock-A-Holics! Let’s hang out! It doesn’t have to be weird or awkward…but let’s face it: we can probably guarantee that it WILL be weird and awkward. Maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone else about this.
On second thought, maybe we should talk about this in Group Therapy.
Kim has asked for some advice, but I’ll just come out and say this upfront: I think what she really wants is for someone to clear her conscience. I’m throwing my hands up and walking away from this one, because I’m definitely in the “not okay with it” camp here.
So, Kim’s boyfriend is out of the country on work, and will continue to be for another month. The boyfriend had been gone for an entire week before Kim decided to spend “7 or 8 hours” with her ex, last Saturday night. The current boyfriend doesn’t like the ex-boyfriend very much, because he thinks the ex is still in love with Kim.
Kim says the ex is just a good friend. Sure, they dated for FOUR YEARS, but they’re just buddies now! I guess that explains why she didn’t tell her boyfriend that she spent time with this guy. In fact, she didn’t just “not tell him”…she lied about it when he asked her how she spent her weekend.
I think this case is pretty much open-and-shut for me. If Kim has nothing to hide, and the ex isn’t a threat to her current relationship…then why didn’t she just tell her boyfriend the truth?
Am I overreacting? Let’s hear your thoughts, good people!
Old boyfriend shopping for something easy, he is a opportunity guy playing the friend role and 4 years of dating this girl before he knows all about her and what to say to get her in bed.
Dishonesty = Death
Any relationship is damaged by dishonesty, especially lying by omission. The truth always come thru in the end. Not cool.
Kim is a problem, and should be dumped.
Here's the thing. Lies are insidious things, the #1 virus/threat to most relationships. Like a virus, they are not always bad, and can live in symbiosis with the host, but most of the time, they create disease. Science lesson over. Kim wants to have her cake, and eat it too, and feels guilty about it. She has probably already banged her ex, or is thinking about it. She will deny it, of course, but let's cut the bulls***. If your SO is out of town for an extended period of time, you can do whatever you want, but you don't hang out with your ex during that time. It's fucked up, it has, as the good book says, the "appearance of evil", which is a nice way of saying it looks bad. Usually it looks bad, because it is bad. So, Kim has a choice. She can be a lying ho-bag, and not tell her boyfriend, he can find out and lose trust in her, or she can fess up. Prediction: she does not fess up, her boyfriend finds out, and dumps her. Sorry, I cheated once, and I been cheated on, I know the dynamic. This whole "it's complicated" argument is usually bullshit.
One last point: he should not have asked her what she did with her weekend. If she wanted to tell him, she would have. What the f*** does he care what she did with her weekend? (unless, he already suspects foul play.) Chicks always tell you what they did this weekend, even when you'd rather not hear it (shopping, etc).
Don't lie, unless absolutely necessary, and saving your feelings or avoiding a confrontation is does not qualify as "absolutely necessary". If you have to lie about something, you most likely should not be doing it. (excluding closeted gays, spies, and recreational drug users, y'all get a pass).
Kim's still has feelings for her Ex. She's not guilt for hanging out with him, prob more guilty of what she wants to do with him and how she feels about him. We call these women Xboxes, cause they are always playin games. But hey, don'thate the player, hate the game. And don't be a fool Kim, wrap his tool next time you see him cause you will.
Kim is dumb
Hey Kim. Just think of things this way, would you be OK with your current boyfriend spending 7-8 hours with his ex that he dated for 4 years? No? Then don't be a bimbo and don't f-ing do it! You give us women a bad rep. You've already screwed up twice, once by spending time with your ex, and again by lying to your man. Your relationship is screwed no matter what you so because your actions tell us you aren't 100% into your current guy. He thinks your ex is still in love with you? Hell, I think you're still in love with your ex.
He already knows
Hey there Kim. I think it's been said already that your soon to be former boyfriend is aware of your behavior, otherwise he'd not have asked about your weekend. Unless of course he's the kind of man who actually cares what you did while he was gone. A rare thing, and not something you'll be able to claim as "yours" once the truth about your weekend comes out.
The thing about lies like the one you're telling your boyfriend and yourself, is that it poisons you, and your relationship.
If you're looking for an excuse to "F" your ex-boyfriend, you'll find one. Remember what BJ says though, they're your ex for a reason.
Kim's a ho!
"Complicated" is a term that means in a relationship but still doing your ex. If Kim has to lie then more than likely there's a reason. Nowhere in the story does it state why her and her ex of 4 years broke up. Obviously the sex was good or she wouldn't have stayed with him that long. I guess when you're not getting any from your current then the next best thing is what you had before he came along
RE: Kim is a problem, and should be dumped.
I do believe she made the error and if she truly didn't do anything wrong, she wouldn't be feeling guilty. -