With a major comic book convention taking over Seattle for a few days, this is the right time for some Group Therapy on the subject of weird hobbies.
Rock-A-Holic Jenny has been dating a guy she likes; he’s athletic, and hits the gym on a regular basis. Things have been going really well…but Jenny’s a little bit freaked out after learning that her guy likes to go to Renaissance Faires with his friends. They dress up in costumes and really embrace the experience. Oh, and he would love for his girlfriend to join him at an upcoming Faire.
In case you’ve never listened to our Geek Nation podcast, let me fill you in: I’m a geek, and I’m sure Jenny would find me to be EXTREMELY weird by her standards. Our beloved Vicky Barcelona – a geek in her own right -- had a choice word for Jenny, and it rhymes with “witch,” “hitch,” and “ditch.” Obviously, we take this kind of thing personally.
Vicky and I can’t help but defend the guy…BUT we’re here to help everyone, so let’s see if we can get Jenny some impartial advice from her fellow Rock-A-Holics.
Do you think Jenny’s being too judgmental? Do you have to love your mate’s hobbies in order to love your mate? Have you ever been in this kind of situation with a “weird” hobby?
BONUS HONESTY POINTS: Are you a Renaissance Faire enthusiast who had to reveal their hobby to a new mate?
My friend said it perfectly when we were listening to this the other day. "DITCH HIM. And then send me his number so I can appreciate him the way he deserves."
The Good and the Bad
Being a geek in my own right, I can see both sides of this. I've never been to a "Ren Faire" persay, but went to an SCA event, and have/had friends who were/are very into the whole SCA thing. I guess if you like getting dressed up just to sit around and drink outside with a few hundred other people, and are into VERY open shenanigans, then sure, go for it. Granted, I think it was just the people I was there with... Some aspects of it are fairly cool. She should really give it a fair shake before making a judgment. And if she doesn't like it - then find something else to do while he's off doing his Ren Faire thing. Perfectly fine for couples to have their own separate hobbies too.
Get over it..
I think Jenny should just get over herself. I have a few "odd" hobbies. My husband has had to learn to deal with them. Sometimes he goes to things with me and sometimes he doesn't. While he doesn't "get it", he is still supportive!
If she doesn't give it a try, she won't ever know if she likes it or not....Don't judge!!
Get some perspective...
Count yourself lucky that you don't have a guy who is boring, but rather, is confident enough in himself that he isn't afraid to be a little weird. Go with him and see what it is all about before you start judging. If it isn't your cup of tea, then so be it. But don't ditch a guy just because his hobbies aren't 100% in line with yours.
work it out
I have been in a few relationships like that I myself being a huge geek have learned it is hard to find someone that will accept that part of you no idea why but its just how it is. the thing is these days it seems we are supposed to accept everything they do and only allowed to do what they say is okay . for example I was in a relationship for almost a year with a girl who would not allow me to be myself, I wanted to go play Magic the gathering or Dungeons and dragons with my friends and she wanted me to go with her to hangout with her friends getting all kinds of upset if I said no ((safe to say that relationship did not end well)). I just say make some time for you and the person you are in a relationship with to be able to go out and do there own thing, you don't have to join in on every little thing in each others life especially when one of them doesn't want to be there, you guys have each other every day of the year you can sacrofice a few days to allow yourselves to have some fun.
This Will End Badly
I'll admit, I am a pessimist. From the way this situation is presented, it seems like your "Rock-a-holic" is more a "Stick-in-The-Mud Prude" who doesn't accept her boyfriend. Honestly, the fact that this guy hits a gym shows more initiative than most of the geeks/nerds I've ever met (I am one, myself, so I can get away with saying this). If she is "freaked out" by him wanting to share a favored experience with her, she doesn't value him. I see this ending in a huge argument, her most likely trying to force an ultimatum and the entire situation exploding like a mixture of C4 & thermite.
It's not that weird.
Ren faire's are wonderful things. I can see how it would be hard to come out to a significant other as an enthusiast but Faires are designed to be family friendly and reach out to people from all walks of life. If it's too weird, you either need to deal with it and accept them as their geek-y self (you don't have to go, or dress up) or move and find someone "normal"... Good Luck.
Btw's, can I have his number?
What a bs!
I relly thought this was a joke, even looked at the calendar to double check it wasn't April's fool.
Are you kidding me this girl needs "help" to figure out what to do because her boyfriend likes to go to Ren Fairs?
Hopefully he also listens to BJ`s show and HE WILL DITCH her.
What a narrow minded human being!!
So what if he likes going to ren fairs whats so weird that? Ok so he likes to dress up big deal either try it out and support him with it or move on its not weird. Hell im not big into it but ive always wanted to go because ive heard its alot of fun get over yourself.
Geek Out, Girl
If you've never been to one, and this guy is into it, try going. Chill out and try to have fun. If you absolutely know this is not something you ever want to be a part of, let him know and maybe it can just be "his thing" while you hangout with your girlfriends. Like most things in life though, it's usually a good idea to try new things!
I think she should go. It sounds like she's judging something before trying it. She may find that it's a great time. If she doesn't like it, oh well, it's not for everyone. That doesn't mean they still can't be together, she's just going to have to accept that during the summer her boyfriend will be out having a good time without her.
Weird is good
The Ren Faire is weird? There's beer, meat, and cool stuff to watch. Even if you don't dress up and talk with an accent, it can still be a lot of fun to hit the Ren Faire just to people watch. I have no advice for her, my advice for him would be to ditch that chick and get someone a little more open to weird. Weird is good.
I bet she's just a boring person that doesn't like anything out of the norm. Probably hates holidays and halloween. Sounds like this girl needs to grow up a little. I've been to them in the past, they are pretty fun. I've never performed but just going and watching is entertaining. Great place to get away from technology.
RE: Ditch him
I already called dibs! :P -
RE: This Will End Badly
I truly feel that she has this image in her head of her perfect guy. Handsome, works out, and the fact that he has this geeky hobby is just shallow. Would it be ok if he didn't like one of her hobbies? Yes, we are humans and we will not always likethe same thing as each other, but it's about balancing doing the things you both like together and then doing the things you don't like on your own. Those who cannot accept that, are doomed to never have a successful relationship in my eyes.