BJ'S BLOG 04/08/13 "Testing"
Last week during Group Therapy, we read a message from Adam who needed some serious advice!
Adam is getting married soon and even though he loves his fiancé, the thought of being with only woman for the rest of his life is “crazy.”
The other day while he was chatting to his fiancé about this, she told him that if the opportunity came up during his bachelor party, he was allowed to hook up with someone as long as he wore protection so he could get it out of his system.
On paper, he thinks this is a good idea but he’s afraid that this is going to come back and bite him in the ass later in life.
Some women are “in the moment” beings and you can’t always trust a decision made like this because it might change in the next moment.
The other possibility is that his fiancé is doing what some other women do and that’s to put him to the test which I think is crap.
Biology has designed men to want to find women and procreate and that is an urge we have to carefully manage in this society. To have someone say you can have something and then punish you when you do it is just ridiculous.
Men hate being tested by their women. I’ve learned in seminars that some women have trouble trusting epically if they have been hurt in the past. Men on the other hand, tend to look at a person’s track record and if they see that they haven’t done anything wrong, will have no trouble trusting them.
Testing a guy like this would be like testing a woman with shopping. Some woman love shopping and if I were to give one my bank account and told her to buy whatever she wanted and she did, it would seem ridiculous for me to get mad at her.
Would it be fair if I told her she didn’t pass the test and that she doesn’t deserve my trust with money because she proved she’s not financially responsible even though I gave her permission?
Women who “test” their significant others are insulting their men by doing so and it needs to stop.