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Group Therapy is all about Rock-A-Holics helping Rock-A-Holics! Let’s see if we can give some quality advice to one of the faithful!
Chris is 21 years old, and he’s looking for some help with his current relationship. He dated his ex-girlfriend for about three months, but broke it off with her because he didn’t feel like the relationship was going anywhere. Chris also describes her as “crazy”, but we’ll reserve judgment on that particular score.
Chris didn’t leave the previous relationship empty-handed, though. A mutual attraction between Chris and his ex-girlfriend’s sister has now turned into a full-on relationship for the two of them. This pairing is only a few weeks old, and it’s been moving along very well…but the new girlfriend is worried about hurting her sister by going behind her back.
So, here’s the big question from Chris: Should he and the new girlfriend make their relationship known to the world at large (most specifically, the sister ex-girlfriend) immediately, or wait until things have developed to the point of “serious relationship business” before revealing the truth?
I don’t necessarily think that Chris is a bad guy; although I’m sure he’ll run into some folks who might choose to judge him harshly for this particular life choice. Without knowing more about the women at the heart of this matter, I’m not sure I can give a definitive answer…but I actually don’t know if this is something he needs to worry about. Sure, you want to handle people’s feelings with care whenever you can, but this might not end up being a huge deal.
Of course, I could just be way behind on my “bro-codes” and “sis-codes” right now. If someone has the latest version of the Man-Woman manual, please let me know. I’ve never actually owned a copy.
We’re turning it over to you, friends. What advice do you have for Chris?
The question is, serious relationship status or not, are they willing to end it if the sister/ex girlfriend is hurt by it? If they are will to end it if the sister/ex girlfriend disapproves, then it's better to tell her now before "serious relationship status". If they're going to carry on with the relationship regardless of the sister's/ex girlfriend's feelings, then I suppose it doesn't matter when they tell her. My opinion is, sisters are for life. Whether or not they have a great relationship now, someday, your sister will be someone you need and can rely on during tough times in your life. No man is worth ruining a sister relationship.
My younger sister once slept with my older sister's boyfriend when my older sister allowed my younger sister to move into her house during a tough time in her life. Their relationship was ruined over it and my younger sister burned a bridge that she might again need someday.
That is a good point. I'm sorry to hear about what happened within your family. Hopefully they can find a way to mend the bridge one day. -