BJ Shea

 BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 04/10/13 "Thinning Boyfriend"

Yesterday during Group Therapy, a Rock-A-Holic named Kim wrote in about an issue that men have been unfairly accused; a phenomenon that some women say hurts them. 

Her boyfriend of three years has been eating better and doing more cardio which has resulted in him losing a lot of weight. 

She says that he “doesn’t look good” and that people are constantly asking if he’s ill even though his physical indicated he’s fine. 

The real problem is that Kim a is a curvy girl and even though he says he loves her body, he fact that he weighs less, eats less, and wears a smaller size than her, is bring back all the feelings of feeling “big and unattractive.”  She says that these are issues she worked hard to get pasted but here’s the truth, if she had really gotten past them, this wouldn’t be affecting her in this way. 

She wanted to know if she felt like a horrible person because she was thinking about dumping her boyfriend because he is “way too skinny” now.

I have to thank her for writing in because at least she is trying to get some help but there is a lesson that needs to be learned here. 

How many times have we heard that a woman’s self image and self esteem gets low because of a man’s view on what a woman should looked like? 

Even though some men find the women on magazines to be attractive, we are willing to be with someone who doesn’t look anything like that because we know those women in magazines are not real. 

What it seems like to me is that there is more to Kim’s image issue then has to do with her boyfriend. 

This is a big issue and when some women want to blame men for their image consciousness, I say it’s not true on a global scale.  I know there are jerk guys out there who value only the physical but a lot of guys view the woman that they’re with to be a 10. 

Some women think men have higher standards then we really do; we don’t care if our girl is best looking woman in the world, as long as she looks good to us, that’s all we want. 
Managing self esteem issues is a lifelong commitment, it’s not easy to to get past something as deep as this.  Kim needs to seek counseling whether she stays with this guy or not because if she doesn’t get help with this, she will bring it with her wherever she goes in life.  Is that really any way to live? This isn't worth have loom over your life forever.   

04/10/2013 8:54AM
BJ'S BLOG 04/10/13 "Thinning Boyfriend"
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