BJ Shea
Text the word KISW to 77999 to sign up for the Rockaholic Text Club concert, event and info alerts click here. You'll rec up to 3 msg a week.Msg & Data Rates MayApply, Text STOP KISW to cancel, terms & conditions apply.

BJ Shea

 BJ Shea


BJ'S BLOG 04/11/13 "My Stepson is looking at Porn"

When Rock-A-Holics need help, they turn to Group Therapy…
 
We heard from “Heisenberg” (no relation), who recently discovered that his 12-year-old stepson has been looking at porn on his iPod Touch. The mom doesn’t know, and the kid doesn’t know that his stepdad found the evidence. Heisenberg can’t decide what to do: Should he tell his wife? Talk to the stepson? Confiscate the iPod for ‘evidence examination’?
 
This would be a tough question for a biological parent; being the stepdad adds another layer of uncertainty. There’s a chance to bond with the stepson, but there’s also an obligation to the kid’s mom. Add to that the embarrassment and shame that society assigns to sexual matters, and it’s a tangled situation to say the least.
 
We don’t have the facts on the kid’s biological father, so I can’t say where the responsibility sits in this family unit. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I think that it’s far better for everyone if fathers handle the “boy talks”, and mothers handle the “girl talks”. Every family is different, of course, so this is hardly a one-size-fits-all solution…but if I was the stepdad, I’d probably talk to the kid, and at least help him understand the need for discretion in his exploration.
 
Heisenberg, if you’re the main father figure in this kid’s life, this is a chance to step up and forge a bond and also to teach him that he doesn’t have to be ashamed of something that comes naturally for pretty much everyone. I think, if given the choice, most men would wish that someone had helped remove a few of the stigmas around this very ‘touchy’ subject…




 
10/11/2013 9:51AM
BJ'S BLOG 04/11/13 "My Stepson is looking at Porn"
Please Enter Your Comments Below
10/11/2013 12:10PM
What kind.
As a "Stepdad" and having gone through this with my Grandson, I'd have to say as long as it's not "violent" and it's just the average then talking to him is the best path to take. Getting Mom involved has to be done also but explain to Mom that it is handled and to stay out of it. She needs to know in case the teenager is a typical teenager and forgets the discretion talk. This way it's not too shocking to Mom and she doesn't overreact.
10/14/2013 7:04AM
RE: What kind.
Good point! I think it was good for my parents to be a team and to know what was going on but I would never want me dad to talk to me about that kind of stuff. -
10/16/2013 6:56AM
RE: RE: What Kind
Great points. I have to agree with both of you. As a male, I would want my dad to talk to me about it but because he's a step-parent, I would want my mother there too. -HotKyle
Title :
Comment :


Recent Blog Posts
Categories
Archives