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Hello again, Rock-A-Holics! We’ve got a big Group Therapy session to tackle here!
I’m from Boston, and there was definitely an Irish influence in my house, courtesy of my mother…
…but I pretty much always forget St. Patrick’s Day, especially the part about wearing green.
We heard from Hank in the early morning hours of St. Patrick’s Day, and we knew he needed our special brand of help.
Hank starts work at 5 A.M. every day. By 5:15 A.M. on this particular day, Hank was extremely angry, because his female boss pinched him for not wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day. She pinched his side, down near his lower back; Hank says it was awfully close to his butt, and he’s not happy about it.
Hank is wondering if he should report his boss to upper management. After all, if he had done the same to her – even as a ‘holiday tradition’ – the situation might not be so festive. He’s really not sure what to do, and it’s not too difficult to understand why.
I have some big issues with this. There seems to be a real communication gap between men and women when it comes to the parameters and rules of “all in good fun.” Women don’t think that men understand how to act appropriately, but the rules we play by are interchangeable, and men have a hard time figuring out exactly when the double standard is working in their favor.
I have personal experience here, so this subject really hits home for me:
I was at a radio event several years ago, during which I was onstage with several sexy women (not unlike our own KISW Rock Girls, but somewhere else) and a female co-host. During the show, this woman said something along the lines of, “let’s see if B.J. is enjoying this,” and then grabbed my genitals in front of the whole audience.
I didn’t say anything about it, but it was an uncomfortable situation that continued to bother me over time. My anger about the incident hit a new high years later, when the same woman successfully sued the company for sexual harassment. You can’t tell me there’s no double standard when it comes to this kind of nonsense.
I definitely believe that Hank should avoid discussing this matter with the female boss who pinched him, because that’s practically filling out a request for more trouble. That being said, I don’t think that he’s blowing this out of proportion, either.
Do you think this is a serious enough issue to discuss with upper management? Is it truly inappropriate? Do you believe Hank could have pinched his boss with no fear of consequence? We’ve got questions, and we know you have answers!
I truly believe that there is a double standard in the workplace when it comes to things like this. If a man were to pinch his female boss, it's a trip to HR followed by two-weeks of sensitivity seminars and training. However, if a woman were to pinch a male employee or boss, HR wouldn't blink an eye because women aren't "capable of sexual harassment."
Furthermore, physical contact should not occur in the workplace and in Hank's case, he should have talked to her and HR about what she did. I for one can't stand it how men are always the victims, when women are just as guilty as harassment. That's just my opinion on it.
It is a double standard, that happened to of my brother's and it was BS, but he still lost his job, over something he said, and nothing sexual at all. There are cases where it is clearly sexual harassment, and from both sides. What happened with you BJ that was so over the top, and I can only guess to how that made you feel, when she was accusing someone else of sexual harassment, and I bet it was nothing like, what she did to you up on stage, in front of everybody. It is so double standard, and they have taken it to where it is out of control, even in grade school. He should let someone at work know about this, if not her first, or upper management, if he talked to her first, it might make her mad, who knows.