During Group Therapy yesterday, we read an email from Johnny asking us for some help with what to do with his wife and some unwanted visitors.
His wife invited her friend and her two kids to stay over for two weeks and they don’t even have room for them because they have three kids of their own. On top of that, the friend is 6 months pregnant.
Johnny thinks this is too long and that an appropriate amount of staying time would be 3-4 days tops and wanted to know if anyone agreed with him.
It doesn’t even sound like she discussed this with Johnny, it just seems like she told him what was going to happen. Not only did she not respect Johnny by discussing it with him, but she also didn’t take into consideration the possible stress this could bring to their own kids.
I’ve said this before and I think everyone should keep this in mind: the home must be kept as a sanctuary for your children. It is their safe space there they can escape from everything out in the world and to let somebody come in that doesn’t make them feel comfortable or safe is not fair to the kids.
In the past when a person has not gotten along with my kids and my wife wants to have them come back, I talk to my kids first to see how they feel. If they say they don’t want them to stay, I tell my wife they cannot stay with us. It’s not about having the kids “run the house,” it’s about respecting their feelings and home by not bringing someone in it that will cause them discomfort.
What Johnny’s wife needs to realize is that their kids are their permanent house guests and they should always come first.