BJ'S BLOG 05/15/13 "Guilt"
Earlier this week on the show, we received an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Ariel who needed some relationship help.
Ariel was considering getting back together with her ex boyfriend who has broken up with her twice. The reason they broke both times is because he is a Jehovah’s Witness and feels guilty dating a Pagan girl. Also, he can’t stand the guilt he gets every time they have premarital sex.
She has been thinking about telling him that the only way she would get back together with him is if he goes to therapy and gets his issues sorted out; but she’s wondering if that is even a fair thing to ask of him.
I have actually met Ariel before and I know she is a really cool chick and I really want to see her do great things.
One of the things my therapist has taught me is when someone tells another person to go to therapy, it might be an indication that the person issuing the statement needs therapy themselves.
Why would anyone want to be with someone who feels bad or guilty when they are together? If you’re willing to be with a person like this, what does that say about how you feel about yourself? Ariel deserves to be with a great guy who won’t mind what she’s into.
As for her ex, it’s sad to see people so negatively affected by their indoctrinated religious beliefs so I don’t blame him for feeling the way he does.
Therapy could definitely be beneficial for the both of them, but only if they go on their own free will and not as an ultimatum.