BJ Shea

 BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 05/22/14 "Ex+Sexting = Bad Situation"

Today’s Group Therapy session deals with sexting. I had planned to come up with some kind of proof that I’m cool enough to handle proper sexting, but the whole thing is just too complicated for me. I ended up just typing 80085 into a calculator and giggling about it to myself.
Kevin’s ex-girlfriend has been sending him dirty text messages, and he’s seriously considering letting her current boyfriend know exactly what she’s up to. Before you find yourselves too scandalized by this behavior, let me go ahead and tell you that the ex-gf got together with her current guy while she was still dating Kevin, and they’ve been together for about a year.
For the past few months, Kevin’s ex has been sending him sexual text messages, despite having dumped him. He never replies, because he has absolutely zero interest in getting wrapped up with this woman all over again. Kevin knows the boyfriend; they have some mutual friends, and Kevin says he’s a nice guy. That’s some high praise for a guy who was fooling around with your girlfriend behind your back, Kevin.
This is a tough spot to find yourself in, no doubt about it. Does Kevin owe this guy some man-to-man courtesy, or should he just let him find out the hard way?

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05/22/2014 7:30AM
BJ'S BLOG 05/22/14 "Ex+Sexting = Bad Situation"
Please Enter Your Comments Below
05/22/2014 11:24AM
Let it go!
My bf cheated on me and I let karma take care of him. Do the same. It will make you feel better. Your happiness is the only thing that matters. And block her number you idiot!
05/22/2014 11:40AM
Would you want to know if you were him?
This seems simple to me. If an aquaintance of mine knew that my significant other was cheating, I'd want them to tell me. I'd always do the same for someone else. You may not only gain a friend in the process but you may save somebody a lot of time and money invested in the relationship. The only problem Kevin could possibly run into, is if the "new" guy thinks he's lying beacause he wants her back. Even then, Kevin can sleep knowing that he did the right thing and tried to let the guy know. If he cooses to not believe Kevin, he will eventually learn on his own and say to anyone who will listen, "I should have believed Kevin when he tried to tell me".
05/22/2014 11:46AM
What if new guy didn't know?
What if the new guy was lead to believe she was single when they met? There is that chance she didn't say anything at all about having a bf or another story that made it seem like she wasn't cheating on a guy. In that case, he could innocently think she's not a cheating sloot and should deserve to know the truth. Rather than getting wrapped up in their drama, I'd just reply to one message and tell her that it needs to stop before I take a screen shot and send it to her b/f. Once you tell him, the drama comes to your door, rather than just stepping away from it all.
05/22/2014 12:48PM
Let it Ride
I was in a similar situation. My soon-to-be-ex-wife showed me the door and had a new guy in my house 3 months after I was gone. Now granted we were headed down that road as it was. but come to find out she had been talking to him at LEAST a month before I left. Which would explain both the increase of the frequency of our arguments AND the level of intensity they would reach. So while an argument could be made that she, technically, DIDN'T cheat, she is the type who always bitched about "emotional affairs" as well. So in that aspect she did. And I REALLY wrestled with the desire to just send a wrecking ball through her whole game and let this other guy AND his family know what he/they were in for. But in the end it was better for me to just sit back and watch it all unfold naturally. And believe me it will. LOL
05/22/2014 8:58PM
Let him know Let him know Your ex is a skanky ho Let him know Let him know He'll be grateful, you know!
05/23/2014 2:37AM
The circle of strife
Kevin should participate in the sexting and take snapshots of everything. Then email this dude the proof he needs to find an actual decent chick. Finally Kevin should give a HA-HA to the ex.
05/23/2014 6:25AM
Time to come clean
Kevin needs to take screen shots of all these messages and forward them to the new boyfriend. Or, depending on how well they know each other, swing by his house with a 6-pack and show him in person. While he's there he should also let him know that he was actually with the girl originally when the two of them started hooking up (assuming he didn't know, since Kevin says he's a nice guy). And then block her number, idiot!
05/27/2014 8:00AM
RE: Let it go!
Good point! Just go on with your life and block them out! - VB
05/27/2014 8:03AM
RE: Let it Ride
Its just healthier to stay out of it I've come to learn. I hope things are going much better for you now. :) - VB
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