BJ'S BLOG 05/23/12 "Lending Money"
Yesterday during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-holic named Rose.
What Rose needed help with was with what to do with someone who hasn’t paid their owed money back…but it wasn’t her money, it was her boyfriend’s.
About a year ago, Rose’s boyfriend lent his best friend $700 so his car wouldn’t get towed. He has asked about it on a few occasions but still hasn’t gotten it back. They don’t talk as often anymore because of it and Rose’s boyfriend is bummed out and has given up asking.
Rose feels like this friend is a jerk and is considering talking to him herself. She’s thinking she will threaten him with small claims court if he doesn’t shell out the money he owes her boyfriend.
What Rose wanted to know is if she should get involved or just stay out of it.
First off, she has no real place to get into her boyfriend’s money issues because they are not married and they are HIS issues.
Second of all, this is a harsh lesson for Rose’s boyfriend (and others in the same situation) to learn. You better believe the boyfriend will think twice before lending out money again.
Here is the real rule of thumb when it comes to giving others money: never lend money, gift it. If you don’t have enough money to just give it away then don’t do it! When you gift money, don’t expect it back, and if they do give it back, it’s a bonus, but you won’t be pissed if they don’t.
Frankly, if someone doesn’t have the money to take care of their own things, let them lose their stuff. They will learn the importance of money management.
No one should be expected to put themselves in “financial” harm’s way to bail out somebody else.