Yesterday during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Jeffery.
Jeffery is a married man with three teenage boys. They recently moved to a nice neighborhood where they live next door to two teen girls.
They’ve gone out to dinner with the family and have a great time. The only problem is that the girls are in charge of the yard word and when it’s warm, they do their chores short shorts, tanks tops, and bikinis and has caught his sons staring at them through their windows.
Jeffery says that he and his wife don’t want them influenced by “overly sexualized displays” and wanted to know if it would be ok to ask the girls’ dad to have them cover up a little bit.
In other words, it’s Jeffery’s wife that doesn’t want her boys seeing this and Jeffery is going along with it to avoid a fight.
What is happening to men in society? I’m the first one to say that women should be responsible about how they display and behave around men but if it’s warm out and they’re doing yard work in their own yard, then they’re not doing anything wrong.
They’re not wearing anything that you wouldn’t see at the beach; will you ban your boys from going to beaches too?
Jeffery, I’m sure there won’t be any hurt feelings when you go over to your neighbor’s house and ask the dad to have a conversation he doesn’t want to have with his daughters. That would go over well (by the way, I am being very sarcastic) I’m sure if I was that father, who is probably already walking on egg shells because he has two teen girls, and you told me to tell my daughters to cover up because they basically look like whores, I would not be happy about it.
Boys are going to be boys and part of growing up is checking out girls their age if they’re heterosexual. Same thing with the girls; part of being a heterosexual teenage girl is to want to attract the attention of boys her age.
It seems to me that it might be Jeffery’s wife who has the problem with the way the girls are dressing because it’s either a reminder that she’s getting older and/or that her sons are not her little boys anymore.
What Jeffery really needs to do is stand up to his wife and tell her that there is nothing wrong with any of this and to just teach his boys how to take preventative and respectful actions before doing something more than looking.