BJ'S BLOG 0604/13 "Being a Parent"
Last week during Group Therapy, the advice I gave a Rock-A-Holic named Gary has caused a lot of backlash!
About a year ago, Gary wrote in asking for our opinion and completely ignored them. His ex-fiancé pretty much abandoned her teenage daughter and her father was not in the picture. He was wondering if he should take her in and help her out since she had no one else and he felt she could use some adult guidance.
He took her in around a year ago, against my advice, and she has turned her fail grades to A’s and B’s and is close to graduating at 18 years-old.
The problem is, she just informed Gary that she is 5 weeks pregnant with her 23 year-old boyfriend’s child. He is a high school dropout who works in construction and neither of them have driver’s licenses.
According to the couple, they want to keep the child and even though Gary thinks they are not ready for this financially or mentally he knows he has no say.
He feels however, if she thinks she’s old enough to be a parent then she is old enough to move in with the father of her unborn baby.
People got mad at me when I called Gary dumb for all this. First he asked for advice but decided to ignore the counsel of someone who genuinely was looking out for him, and now he wants to kick this troubled teen out, because something bad happened.
When he decided to take her in, he agreed to be her guardian which is like being a parent. Once you agree to this, it’s forever not for when it’s no longer easy.
This girl, from what Gary explained in the message, has had a difficult life with parents who are not even around so is it really surprising that she ended up in this situation?
He is pretty much her parent now and as any good parent would do, he has to support her for the rest of his life. That’s why parenting should be thoughtfully considered because it’s a lifelong commitment.