Yesterday during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Jeff who needed some parenting advice.
He is the father of three kids, his oldest being a 13-year-old, well mannered girl who is a “straight A” student.
Recently, she asked ifshe could get her belly button pierced along with her mom as a “bonding experience.”
At first he though “HELL NO” but after talking to other parents, they told him they not only don’t see a problem with this, they would let their daughters do it too.
Jeff is no longer with the mother of his daughter, but they have a good relationship, though the way the tone of his email was written makes me think that he is the custodial parent and the mom is the “weekend parent.”
This type of parenting where the kids have two households they go to with different rules is something I’ve never experienced. It has always been my wife and I in the same household and we always consulted with each other on what we will let our kids do or how to punish them.
What Jeff needs to do is have a unified front with his ex and explain to her that she needs to consult with him before doing anything like this. She has placed him in a bad position with his daughter because she went to her daughter with this idea before talking with him first.
As for the belly button piercing, the good news is that it can be removed but this is something they need to discuss as a parenting team.