BJ'S BLOG 07/25/13 "Making Babies"
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we received an email that really made me angry.
A Rock-A-Holic who went by the name “Vanessa” to protect her identity, is doing something behind her husband’s back.
She and her husband are both 32-years-old and have been married for seven years and have talked about having kids. Her husband says that he is not ready for kids yet and would like to wait a few more years but Vanessa says she’s ready now and has secretly stopped taking her birth control pills.
In her email, she said that she knows it’s the wrong thing to do but fears her husband might not ever want to have kids or that she will be too old when he finally is ready. She also goes on to say that he would be happy if she were to get pregnant now.
This is going to sound harsh but this heinous and grounds for divorce. Men are generally looked on as the gender that does all the betraying but I believe this is a horrible betrayal on her part!
I understand that she feels like it’s a good time to have a baby, she’s been married for a while now and doesn’t want to be too old when she gets pregnant, but this is a life changing decision! This is something that needs to be agreed upon by both of them.
This shows a major problem in today’s society; people would rather cheat and go the easy route than make the hard choices!
It’s probably not easy for Vanessa to hear, but if she talks to her husband and he’s still opposed to it, she can wait until he’s ready or leave. That is her right, and it’s his right to not start a family if he’s not ready.