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BJ Shea

 BJ Shea


BJ'S BLOG 08/22/12 "Tweeting Porn Stars"

Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Kim.

In Kim’s email, she started off saying that she has been with her boyfriend for 4 years and feels like they will be getting married soon.

The problem she is having with him recently though is that he follows porn stars and random “slutty chicks” on Twitter.

She feels like it’s disrespectful of him and doesn’t think he should be doing this since they’re in a relationship.

As long as the interaction is one sided, as in he’s only looking at pictures and not emotionally or physically getting involved with these women, then there is nothing wrong with what he is doing.  

Here’s something that my therapist has taught me: whatever you do for your “alone time” is your business and your business only. You don’t have to tell anyone, including your significant other what inspires you while you’re “taking care of business.” As long as you’re not violating the terms of your relationship…it’s nobody’s business.

One thing that Kim said that was a little off was that she feels like they will be getting married soon but it sounds like she doesn’t trust her boyfriend, so why would anyone want to get married to someone they don’t trust?

Also, calling these women “sluts” is odd to me. When a woman is getting attention from a man, she calls it being “sexy” but when men are giving attention to another woman for how she looks, that woman is automatically labeled a “slut.”

Hypocrisy and distrust do not make a good foundation to build a new marriage on. 


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08/22/2012 8:17AM
BJ'S BLOG 08/22/12 "Tweeting Porn Stars"
Please Enter Your Comments Below
08/22/2012 11:37AM
Rejection?
completely understand what you're saying, but I also have apathy for Kim. I'm going through a similar thing, however my situation seems a little.. Off. My boyfriend is also following models and such, which I don't mind. What bothers me,is he denies me intimacy, yet has his 'alone time' when I'm not around.. I confronted him, and he says I'm over-reacting.. Help? -Chloe
08/22/2012 11:46AM
Agreed.
I'm a female and this: When a woman is getting attention from a man, she calls it being “sexy” but when men are giving attention to another woman for how she looks, that woman is automatically labeled a “sl*t.” is the truest statement I've heard in a while. I love it.
08/22/2012 12:04PM
Amen Brother!
On point again BJ. 100% agree....Men have different minds, and focuses throughout the day that need to be "taken care of". If my significant other wanted to stop what she was doing at any given moment to give me an ol' fasioned, or a quickie, it would be one thing...although, as most men in relationships realize, this IS NOT usually the case, so we supplement. :-) As for the 'sluts' point. Judgement should be saved for those in court....Live your own life according to your own principles, and life will work out how it does. Unneeded stress and judgement will make you die young.
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