BJ Shea

 BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 08/30/13 "Dream Wedding Take Two "

Yesterday on the show, we read an email from Trista who wanted the Rock-A-Holics’ opinion on a problem she is having.   

Trista has recently started planning her wedding which will be next year. This is her second marriage; she got married when she was 20 but that ended a year later. She is now 28 and has been with her fiancé for three years.

Her parents said that they will once again pay for her wedding, but will only do so if Trista and her fiancé sign a contract that says if the marriage fails before the 4th year, they have to pay them back for the wedding.

She explains that her parents do well for themselves financially and wanted to know if anyone else thinks her parents are being crazy!

I have no one to blame but my generation because we helped raised this society where everyone expects a trophy, expects to be electecd  president one day andexpects to just have everything handed to them.

They expect to have their dream wedding for the second time all because mommy and daddy have money, which they probably made because they worked their asses off!

The reason most people have a wedding is for gifts and for the bride to feel like a princess for a day, but why not just have a small reception or just a nicer honeymoon instead? She already had her princess wedding and has no right to expect mommy and daddy to foot the bill again…sign the contract while the deal is still on the table.

08/30/2013 9:41AM
BJ'S BLOG 08/30/13 "Dream Wedding Take Two "
Please Enter Your Comments Below
08/30/2013 11:18AM
I totally agree with you
I think the amount of money spent on weddings these days is ridiculous, and the fact that so many people (mostly women, sadly) think their parents are responsible for funding their giant money pits is disgusting. If you are an adult, you should be able to support yourself. If you decide to get married, you need to understand that it is primarily a legally binding financial agreement above all else. If you want a party to celebrate your financial union, then you should be able to pay for it yourself. The rate of divorce in this country is very high for first marriages, and it's even higher for subsequent marriages. The parents are doing well for themselves, likely, because they are making prudent financial decisions. Asking for a guarantee on their investment not only makes perfect financial sense for them, but it also teaches their daughter (who is already showing that she has issues with entitlement) that her decisions have consequences, and she needs to be prepared to take a loss. I, as a female in her mid 20's, who paid for my own wedding at the age of 19 and subsequent divorce at 23, would tell her to grow up and understand that she is asking her parents to make a major financial investment. They are asking for a solid return. It's as simple as that. If she isn't willing to secure their investment, they shouldn't invest. I've never asked my parents for financial assistance, and I never would without a clear picture of how the money would be repaid (either financially or in some other fashion). They raised me to be self sufficient, to work hard for what I have, and to be responsible with how I invest my money. If I ever were to get married again, which is highly unlikely due to my extreme aversion to being financially tied to another person, I would look at my finances. I would see what I could afford to pay for a wedding. Then I would consider whether or not that money would be better spent on something like...a down payment on a house or opening a retirement account. I would most likely decide to go that route, and run off to the courthouse to get married. Quick, no possibility of the day being ruined by drunken friends and relatives, and no attention seeking behavior.
08/30/2013 11:30AM
Paid for my own wedding.
No, they didn't raise a princess, so the agreement is fair! Why are they even paying in the first place?
08/30/2013 11:44AM
Low cost wedding
She should pay for her own 2nd wedding. My parents told me they couldn't afford a big wedding. I also knew this going into the planning. They were paying for my brother and I to go to college to be engineers. That was the big gift for me not a costly wedding. I made my dress. had a buffet, no open bar and lots of fun. In 30 years I have only looked at our video once and looked through our wedding photos a couple of times. We have one small photo displayed and nothing else. It's not the day that matters but the years afterward. Neither of our families could afford an extravagant wedding. It's completely ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on a dress, even more on a fancy dinner.
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