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Welcome back to Group Therapy, gang! I’m glad you’re here, because we have a Rock-A-Holic in need of some serious advice.
Holly’s a little bit worried about one of her boyfriend’s exes…because the ex in question just happens to be a man. She says she feels guilty that she’s a little bit weirded out by this recent discovery, but the whole thing makes her think that she’s in competition with EVERYONE. Holly is especially concerned that her boyfriend will cheat on her with another man.
Our societal views on gay (and bisexual) life choices have certainly loosened up over the last couple of generations, but there are still some stigmas left to shake off for some people. Personally, I think that Holly’s comfort level with her boyfriend’s past shouldn’t be affected by his flexible sexuality, because that doesn’t have any direct correlation to his trustworthiness as a partner.
Does anyone have some feedback for Holly? Is she overreacting? I’d love to hear from all kinds of people, but I’m especially keen to hear from those of you who have experience with this kind of situation…
It comes down to his character, not his preference
Whether he cheats or not isn't about whether he was bi. It's about if that's how his character is. My wife dated a woman for 3 years before we were together. I don't worry about her cheating on me with a woman or a man.
If "Holly" is so worried he's going to cheat in general, she has deeper issues to work through than what sex it will be with.
its on the individual
If hes a douche he is a douche. Shouldnt be an issue as his focus is now on you. This is even normal for gay guys with guys that have been with women.
Bi doesn't equal deviant
I don't understand why a lot of people think that just because someone is gay or bi, that they are a sexual deviant. Chances are that Holly's man is just really comfortable with his sexuality. I agree, if she's so worried about him cheating, she had deeper issues to address.
RE: It comes down to his character, not his preference
I feel if you're worried someone is going to cheat but they haven't done anything to warrant that distrust, why are you with them? There is no point in dating someone if you can't trust them. - VB