Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read a text we received at 77999 from a Rock-A-Holic named Lisa who was furious at her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend of five years just admitted to her that when they first started dating he once let his best friend and roommate at the time hide in the closet and watch them get intimate!
His excuse was that they had just started dating, he didn't know if they were going to be long term and it happened when they were "young and dumb."
She feels sick to her stomach looking at him and isn't sure how to handle this situation.
First question I have is why he felt the need to tell her because right now he's being "old and dumb." This falls under the category of things to never tell your significant other! Nothing good can come from this unless the point was to give her a reason to end the relationship.
Guys like this make all men look bad; I understand that when a male is horny he makes bad decisions especially if you include young age, alcohol, and stupidity.
This is why I suggest always having some sort of counsel or mentor in your life because they will tell you when something is simply a bad idea. Sadly with the number of kids that did or are growing up with a single parent, they don't get that support system they need.
The thing people must also consider about relationships is that you are going to get challenged severely; it will kick the crap out of you, the question is, are you willing to take what it can throw at you. Like your significant other's bad behavior?
Earlier this week on the show, we received an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Ariel who needed some relationship help.
Ariel was considering getting back together with her ex boyfriend who has broken up with her twice. The reason they broke both times is because he is a Jehovah's Witness and feels guilty dating a Pagan girl. Also, he can't stand the guilt he gets every time they have premarital sex.
She has been thinking about telling him that the only way she would get back together with him is if he goes to therapy and gets his issues sorted out; but she's wondering if that is even a fair thing to ask of him.
I have actually met Ariel before and I know she is a really cool chick and I really want to see her do great things.
One of the things my therapist has taught me is when someone tells another person to go to therapy, it might be an indication that the person issuing the statement needs therapy themselves.
Why would anyone want to be with someone who feels bad or guilty when they are together? If you're willing to be with a person like this, what does that say about how you feel about yourself? Ariel deserves to be with a great guy who won't mind what she's into.
As for her ex, it's sad to see people so negatively affected by their indoctrinated religious beliefs so I don't blame him for feeling the way he does.
Therapy could definitely be beneficial for the both of them, but only if they go on their own free will and not as an ultimatum.
Last Friday during the Lukewarm Topic, we read a story about a woman who should be nominated for mother of the year.
Deborah Tagle of Santa Fe, Texas waited seven hours to take her 14-year-old son to the hospital AFTER he was shot in the thigh! The reason she waited was becuase she was searching Web MD for how to treat a gun shot wound instead of taking her son to the hospital!
24-year-old Pete Jesse Rodriguez who lives with the boy and his mother, was playing a game with the teenager where Pete pointed and followed him with his gun as the boy ran.
Pete was arrested and charged with one count of injury to a child with intent to commit serious bodily injury and officials say that Deborah will be charged with injury to a child by omission.
I'm not sure what relation Pete is to the mother or son but regardless, he and Deborah are prime examples of why we should have parent licenses in this country.
People should be forced to pass a test proving they are smart enough to know what is safe and what is dangerous before they have any involvement with kids!
If we do start a parent licensing program, less and less children will be getting hurt due to incompetent adults who are in charge of them!
The news has been everywhere this week but if you haven't heard, three women that have been missing for ten years have been found!
Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight managed to escape the home they were held captive on Monday after years of sexual and psychological abuse. Police say that the women were apparently kept in different rooms where they were bound by ropes and chains at times.
They escaped when Amanda Berry broke through a door and ran for help and contacted the police who then helped rescue the other two women and her daughter Amanda bore while in captivity.
Ariel Castro has been charged for the rape and kidnapping of these three women and the judge set bail at $2 million for each criminal count he faces.
Also to be considered is how the abuse caused a ripple affect when something like this happens.
What about the pain the families of these women suffered all these years thinking they might be dead and never had closure since their bodies were never found?
Imagine how much more pain they have to endure when they hear about the torture their loved ones went through over these last ten years.
As a father, I cannot imagine the hell it would be.
We all have this instinct as human beings that makes up want to see these men pay for what they have done but there will be some who think that forgiveness is the correct path and we should turn the other cheek.
I feel like this government really has to do their job and punish these horrible human beings to the fullest extent; sadly I don't feel like "the fullest extent" exists. The government never seems to do a good enough job punishing people who do something as heinous as this, they just "rehabilitate" these criminals.
No one wants to see these men go through rehabilitation after they have caused so much horror and pain; we just want them to get a punishment that fits their crimes!
What really irritates me is all the passive people who think that these animals should get another chance and that we shouldn't harbor any ill will towards them. What would they do if they went through that same hell? They wouldn't be talking about turning the other cheek that's for sure.
During Group Therapy yesterday, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Kevin who found out some information he didn't know if he should keep to himself or not.
While looking at an adult websites, he found naked pictures of his best friend's daughter! She's in her early 20's so she's not underage. The pictures were of her husband and her on a swinger's website.
Kevin has known her since she was very young and isn't sure how and if he should broach telling his buddy about this.
Look, if you're not an actual part of the family, why say anything about something like this?
What if the buddy already knows and if fine with it and Kevin comes up to him with a disturbed/disapproving attitude? He might get offended by his disapproval!
It's the internet, it's not private information. Sooner or later this info will get revealed and that is for them to deal with in their family. It may be uncomfortable for you, but imagine how uncomfortable it would be for your buddy to hear this from you?
Last week on the show, we talked about a TV show that is ending, and the circumstances are reasonable.
Dr. Drew Pinsky from "Celebrity Rehab" says that he has no plans on continuing the show because of the stress of the job.
He said during an interview, "I'm tired of taking all the heat -- it's just ridiculous."
"To have people questioning my motives and taking aim at me because people get sick and die because they have a life-threatening disease -- if Rodney King has a heart attack I have to take the blame for that? That's literally what's happening these days."
He also said, "Treating addiction is treating addiction, and we had a program that was second to none. We could handle anything ... We were good -- we did that for 20 years. That's enough, I think."
It is completely unfair that people blame Dr. Drew for something that happens all the time! He's there to help them as much as he can, but he can't prevent them all from passing away!
If you watch the show you know that they never glorify the addictions and shows the harsh realities of these people's problems. I'm very appreciative that this show has been on air because I have learned a lot about what these people go through.
This is a horrible problem that people die from and it's ridiculous that Dr. Drew is being blamed for just trying to help.
Yesterday, we read a message from Rock-A-Holic Emily who is not happy with what she found in her boyfriend's luggage.
The other day when her boyfriend returned home from a trip he took with some friends, she helped him unpack and found condoms in his suitcase.
When she asked why he had condoms with him he said it was "a man's instinct" to bring some condoms on a trip in case anything "goes down" so he could be safe.
He swore up and down that nothing happened but Emily is wondering if this is as bad as cheating and if she should just kick him to the curb.
I am dumbfounded that she believes that this is something monogamous men do while in relationships. When is ever ok to prepare for non-monogamous activities when in a monogamous relationship?
This is what happens when women have more to bring to the table, financially, than men.
What does she have going for her that he is going out and cheating on her but still comes back home to her. My bet is that he is staying because she is helping make that place comfortable.
This is why, sometimes, it's best to live on your own when you're in a newer relationship. How many people stay in bad relationships because they don't want to deal with the hassle of moving? They get comfortable in their home; they wouldn't be able to afford it without the other person so they just stay in an awful relationship. Find a way to live by yourself or have non romantic roommates in your life, that way you won't be a slave to a relationship that is bad for you.
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read a text message we received at 77999 from a Rock-A-Holic named Kenny.
His text says he's about to burst because he's in big trouble and doesn't know what to do.
A few years ago, his wife confronted him about his gambling problem and told him if he ever gambled again that she would leave with him.
He says he hasn't been to the casino in two years but the other night, his buddies "twisted his arm" to play poker with them and Kenny actually won a couple thousand dollars.
In all honesty, this should end right here. I'm a very black and white person; he made a deal, he broke said deal and now he has to face the consequences of his actions.
He says they could really use the money to pay off some bills so he's wondering how he should tell her, if at all.
If you're tight on money, why would you gamble any money you do have? Yeah, you won this time, but what if you lost it all? You would have been in even more of a financial bind. That's why your wife is going to get mad at you!
Kenny ends his text by saying he doesn't plan on gambling again. You didn't plan on gambling this time either, so what will be the excuse next time? Here is the thing about addicts, their word is useless, they can only prove themselves through their actions which is what Kenny needs to do.
Yesterday we discussed the sad decision made to keep the Sacramento Kings in California, leaving Seattle once again without a basketball team.
It is such a shame that we to see that we have the ability to provide such a great basketball environment, yet we can't get this to work.
Chris Hansen has been committed to put good product on the floor, we've see what's happen in Oklahoma City where they developed into a great team after getting Kevin Durant, so we know that if we get a hold of a team, we can take them to the top. The league is designed to have smart people come up with genius ideas to start up a great team!
It's just hard to believe that they don't think we're worthy of a team. We had a piece of crap arena, in a congested part of town and a bad product on the floor. All those three things combined made it so that no one cared about Basketball here in Seattle for a while.
Now we have this amazing offer for a new arena in a different location and have a city full of fans giving their support, yet we are still not being taken seriously.
It seems like the Seattle basketball fan is in an abusive relationship with the league; we are taking a beating trying to get what we want and we've been getting said beating since 2008.
I may not be the biggest basketball fan, but I'm a sports fan… and I know what bringing a basketball team to this city would do for us. It would bring us fun, excitement, comradery …it's what the blue collar workers deserve!
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Max who was having a work place dilemma.
Max has severe allergies to fragrances to the point where he has tried 30 different deodorants in the past year in hope to find one that won’t cause his nose to itch.
The other day, his boss’s boss told him in front of everyone in the office told him to stop sniffling because it’s just as annoying as if he were clicking a pen non-stop. At first he thought his boss was joking but then he suggested that they put him in an isolated environment.
Max asked a few of his office mates if his sniffling has ever bothered them and they not only said no, they said that he should report this boss to HR because he discussed a “medical issue” in front of everyone.
The problem is if that it might not be a good idea since he is a contract worker and is hoping to get hired on full time in the fall.
I get where Max is coming from because I too am sensitive to strong fragrances and my allergies can get really bad, but he does have to learn to manage it like by maybe using allergy medication. I’m not saying the way the boss went about telling him was appropriate, because it was definitely a jerk move. He isn’t asking the people in his office to change the fragrances, but if he’s trying to further his career, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to take the separate office. It would show his boss that he is a team player and willing to do what it takes to make sure everyone is at their best to get their jobs done.