Earlier this week, during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Holly who was upset with her boyfriend over social media!
Her boyfriend has a lot of friends on Facebook and Instagram, and when he posts a picture, there are some girls that like to flirt with him. What is worse is that he flirts back. When Holly has confronted him about it, he says it’s harmless since people flirt in real life.
She doesn’t think it’s okay especially because it is there for everyone to see, but wanted our opinion on the subject.
Originally social media mostly catered to women and that’s how it’s been for a while.
Unfortunately we live in a society where we’ve asked men to be more sensitive, which in turn has made guys take on more feminine traits including chatting and flirting on social networks.
Personally I don’t understand what flirty comments will do for a guy; what is he getting out of this? Unless he is getting physical pleasure from these women, why would he do this and make his girlfriend uncomfortable?
I feel like either this is an example about the vaginization of men and the behaviors they have adopted because of it, or he is doing other things with these women he is not suppose to.
On the other hand if a woman is doing this and it upsets the man, then somehow it is turned around as he is being silly, and it is harmless, and he shouldn't be jealous, or he is just being insecure and all her friends would gang up on him with all of that as well and probably tell her to leave him because he is controlling. I had to tell my girlfriend, who had pictures of her last three Ex's on Facebook to take them off. She eventually did, but she put me through the gamut. LOL to the casual peruser it would have looked as though she was with 4 guys, what with all the picture comments and everything.
Agree with you BJ
I completely agree. Women hold a double standard when it comes to their version of equality. They'll deny it up and down even though it's looking them in the face.
Knocked it out of the park
100% right BJ! There are plenty of pictures of women in the sexy revealing poses with guys left and right saying how gorgeous they are and the poster of the picture(s) can get away with a "cute" comment of, "Aww, you're sweet :-)" leaving their man in total confusion or angered over her flaunting herself for internet attention. Flip the coin and have the roles reversed and the woman of the relationship would have the man in the dog house for being overly flirtatious with "some bimbo"! Totally ridiculous!!!
cheaters never prosper
Its cheating. Plain and simple.
Flirting is fun, and CAN be harmless...
Really this comes down to the trust the couple have, and I think if I was doing something that made my partner uncomfortable, I would certainly want to resolve that. I feel guy's also have a desire to always know they are desired, even by other women, or especially so when things with the partner are not going so well. Although it may be harmless now, it really sounds like that have more in-depth things to work on in their relationship.
its a toss up
To me..Yes I'm a guy...If I say nice eyes...then the person has nice eyes...not nice eyes and cooler and I'd like to plow that till next Monday if i wasn't married can I have your number and address...see... there is a difference....My intent is to give a nice compliment and be done with it...to make the person who posted a self photo happy...so I say there is a degree to online flirting....that 's how I see it.. Now the spouse on the different side may take any and all flirting or comments as being hurtful. In closing ... its all perception of words and intent.