Today's guest blog features one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:
Johnny Depp is facing up to ten years in prison in Australia for doggie smuggling. Australia's Minister for Agriculture, Barnaby Joyce, demanded Depp fly his Yorkshire terriers out of the country by May 16 or face having them put down. He obeyed the order, but now Depp could face a stiff punishment for ignoring animal immigration procedures. There are good reasons for those rules, and I disagree with Depp's disregard for them, but I'm a Depp fan especially after he announced he wanted to buy Wounded Knee, sacred ground where many atrocities were committed against the Sioux, including the killing of Sitting Bull in 1890, and where in the 1970's there was a stand-off between the Federal government and the American Indian Movement about ownership of the land. Landowner James Czywczynski and tribal president Bryan Brewer say the purchase would be a noble gesture, but neither has heard from Depp. More disappointing is that the most recent information I could find about Johnny Depp's possible purchase was from Feb 20, 2014, when Sioux Falls, South Dakota, television station KSFY reported he was again showing signs he might buy Wounded Knee. That report is over a year old, though. Buy it, Johnny, and give it back to the rightful owners!
"Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll," written by Ian Dury and Chaz Jankel, was originally released on August 26, 1977, as a Stiff Records single with "Razzle in My Pocket" as the B-side. Only two members of Dury's band, The Blockheads, appear on the record–guitarist Chaz Jankel and saxophonist Davey Payne—and although Dury hadn't formed a complete band yet, the song did very well. Ian Dury, they say, was also highly successful with women. Some leading actresses, such as Helen Mirren, are said to have enjoyed a friendship with him, and Jane Horrocks moved in with him when she was in her 20s, admitting later she always chose men who, while bright, were untamable, and Dury was the most challenging of the lot. Ian Dury left an indelible mark on the London music scene especially. He died of metastatic colorectal cancer on March 27, 2000, at age 57.
You might think this was true of the wild and free 1970's, but a 2010 National Opinion Research Center study revealed that women are 40% more likely to cheat today than they were a couple of decades back. Also, according to an American poll, 85% of females and 74% of males considered sexting as cheating and also that a non-sexual affair was as dangerous as a physically intimate one. Is a non-sexual affair like a Vulcan mind meld? Oh baby, baby, you rock my frontal lobe!
In other news, it was just a year ago that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got married. The exalted date was May 24. There's still no confirmation that little North was an Immaculate Conception.
For more random ramblings on the shores of Rambling Harbor, hit the Play button and join me there.
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:
With so much racial unrest in our sad little world, I thought I would view race from a musical standpoint. It’s obvious when you look at the history of modern music that race played a major role in music as we know it now.
In 1946, King records began producing what was called race music, music produced primarily by and for African-Americans. People who had been brought to this country already full of rhythm and blues and gospel were forced into servitude by white land barons, but the whip could not silence their music. They found hope in their music, and these African people began to mingle with Native Americans, who themselves were already enslaved and close to being exterminated, clinging to their own music, beliefs, and hope for freedom. As these different musical traditions flowed into and around each other, a beautifully unique musical world was created. All of these cultural traditions formed the roots of jazz, American folk, gospel, and the blues. As I mentioned last week on his death, the music of blues great B.B. King was once labeled race music.
Fast-forward to 1954 and Blackboard Jungle, a film about a teacher at an inner-city school that featured Bill Haley and the Comets' "Rock Around the Clock" in the opening credits. The film helped boost the popularity of rock and roll among teens, but for the rest of the population, it raised fears that rock music was related to juvenile delinquency. In January 1957, the U.S. congress considered legislation that would require song lyrics to be screened by a review committee before they could be sold because of a controversy over so-called obscene lyrics.
As recently as February 2015, Cleveland's Fox 8 news anchor Kristi Capel used the word jigaboo during a live broadcast to describe Lady Gaga’s music, saying "It's really hard to hear her voice with all that jigaboo music, whatever you want to call it...jigaboo." Apparently, Capel is one of the newsies with hair and no brains. I have some hope she didn't know that jigaboo was an old racial slur against African-Americans, a term I heard growing up in the south. What I don’t get is why she used a word she probably didn't understand. Hair got in her eyes and affected her brain, I guess, as she made this statement.
We all have our own tastes in music, and thank god, or we might all be listening to nothing but spoons ensembles. I don’t like rap, especially the violent, gang, damn-you type of rap, so I don’t listen to it and hope it doesn’t encourage violence. But rap music is an example of free speech, whether I like it or not, and it is music to some ears. Anyone who tries to stop rap music is as much a racist as the first Americans who brought slaves to the colony of Jamestown, Virginia, in 1619, or the people of 1946 who established race music as a genre or the congress of 1957. I still believe that music can save our mortal souls.
There are more thoughts on all this and other topics on the shores of Rambling Harbor. Play the podcast and join me there.
Happy Friday, Rock-A-Holics! Before you take off for the holiday weekend, we could use your help with some Group Therapy!
Today’s patient-in-need is Doug, who texted us (at 7999, of course) looking for some advice about his wife. Doug thinks his wife – who is in her 50s - doesn’t dress appropriately for her age, and he’s a bit embarrassed by some of her choices. He insists that he loves his wife dearly, but she just doesn’t have the figure to pull it off.
Some may disagree, but I think Madonna is a perfect example of a woman who doesn’t dress her age. Sure, she’s in great shape, but she still looks like an older woman to me, and I find myself wincing a bit when I see some of her clothing choices. I’ll even admit that I had to ditch my preferred skater-casual style, because I was definitely in danger of looking like an old guy who’s just trying too hard.
So, my opinion comes down in support of Doug. I’d love to hear from you, gang – are Doug and I being old-fashioned and sexist, or do you agree that older women should stay in their lane, and dress their age?
Ah, it’s that time of year again: flowers in bloom, sunshine on a regular basis, and love in the air. The conditions are perfect for a wedding…or Group Therapy.
Karen is in love, and the feeling is mutual. She and her boyfriend have been together for four years, and the guy proposed, in true romantic style, on a recent trip to the beach. There’s just one problem: he has a very prominent tattoo of his ex-girlfriend’s name on his arm. Karen wants it removed before they get married, but he’s not too keen on going through that very painful process. So, she’s wondering if she should put her foot down, or just move past it.
People have a lot of expectations that they foist upon other people, and this isn’t the most typical situation, but I think that a lot of people would probably be sympathetic to Karen’s position in this case. That being said, it’s no easy feat to remove a tattoo, and the result can certainly be unattractive if things don’t go too well.
I’m leaning in favor of the boyfriend here, but maybe you can persuade me otherwise, Rock-A-Holics…
Not like THAT…we’re talking about the good side that is always ready to help out one of our own with some Group Therapy!
Today’s topic comes from Will, who started following a woman on Instagram a while back. Most of her pictures are a little bit racy, and she has a large number of followers. Not long after Will started following her, she messaged him, wanting to hang out. Will was shocked, but he went for it…and two months later, they’re officially a committed couple.
Unfortunately, the social-media-savvy new girlfriend hasn’t taken her new relationship status as a sign that she should stop sharing her provocative photos online. She isn’t willing to give up her fan following, but Will doesn’t want his new mate sharing her goods with the mass audience. He’s wondering if he should draw a line in the sand, or just let it go.
This is a tough one (aren’t they all?) because Will met this woman under these established conditions, and got into a relationship with her, having full knowledge that she does this. Most guys don’t want anyone else seeing their girlfriend in a revealed state, but I don’t know if he has much room for negotiation here.
Hello again, Rock-A-Holics! We’re gearing up for another session of Group Therapy, and we could really use your help!
Peter wrote in for some assistance with a dating situation. He’s been dating his girlfriend for about eight months, and he is considering asking her to move in with him, but he’s a little concerned about a particular ring that she’s always wearing. When he asked her about it, she told him that the ring came from an ex-boyfriend, who gave it to her…before he died. Peter knew that she had an ex who died, and they were broken up, but still friends, before he passed away; he didn’t know that the late ex gave her this ring.
Peter’s girlfriend said that she wouldn’t wear the ring if the ex was still alive, but she has chosen to honor his memory with it. Peter isn’t very comfortable with that idea, and he’s not sure what to do about it.
This is a tough one, folks. I can certainly understand the urge to keep that sentimental notion alive with a simple gesture like wearing a ring. It’s also understandably a note of discomfort for her current boyfriend, who would like to get serious.
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:
A friend got me to thinking the other day, an accomplishment most of my friends try to avoid. This friend once said, “Give Dan a subject, and he will think it to death.” Another good friend from radio once introduced me, saying “Here is Dan Sanders. Give him a subject, and he’ll give you 20 minutes whether he knows anything about it or not.” I never believed those last eight words.
So I was thinking about the hidden talent and connections in music we forget or never even know about. For example, my friend told me the hit song “The First Cut Is the Deepest,” a song I like a lot, was written by Cat Stevens, and he gave it to the great soul singer P.P. Arnold. P.P. Arnold recorded it in 1967 and had a hit. It’s also interesting to note she was a member of the Ikettes, the troupe that provided vocal and dance accompaniment for the Ike & Tina Turner Revue. In 1973, “The First Cut Is the Deepest” was an international hit for Keith Hampshire, a well-known British singer who between July 1966 and mid-August 1967 was also a DJ for the offshore pirate radio station Radio Caroline. The Rod Stewart version of the song, which I and most of the world knows and loves, was not recorded until 1977.
Here’s another name for you: Lisa Fischer. Any Rolling Stones fan has heard her a thousand times but might not know the name. Since 1989, she has toured with The Rolling Stones and is a popular background singer with Mick. Check her out on later versions of “Gimme Shelter” (Merry Clayton recorded the first version) and “Honky-Tonk Woman.” She is also featured in a great documentary about background singers called 20 Feet from Stardom.
Just as I was finishing up this blog, I got the news that on this day, May 15, B.B. King died at age 89, the same day astronomers discovered a rare Quasar Quartet. More than ever, I want that job at WHEA, Heaven’s Radio, where there are a multitude of great quartets. Can you imagine hearing “Goooooooood morning, universes, galaxies, and stars of all ages! We’ve got some B.B. King, Ben E. King, Percy Sledge, and James Brown to kick off your sunrise today!”
All of this got me into particularly ponderous pondering (god, don’t you love alliteration?). I discovered not only something about a song I love but also about the first person to record it and the second and then more about them. I learned P.P. Arnold was one of the Ikettes and Keith Hampshire was a radio pirate on Radio Caroline, and I kept going. The history of one song, “The First Cut Is the Deepest,” I found fascinating as one thing led to another, a result of song sleuthing, a term I made up to describe getting down to the deepest links. My interest in music details is why I became a DJ, or at least one of the reasons.
A few more song-sleuthing moments and other thoughts are on the shores of Rambling Harbor. Drop anchor and join me there.
Here’s an interesting bit of news that Steve discovered: a place called the Cuddle Club has recently opened in Seattle. The founder of this business -- a trained cuddler, if such a thing can truly be certified -- says that cuddling has health benefits that range from serotonin management to therapeutic treatment of PTSD and depression/anxiety disorders. For just 45 bucks, you can cuddle up with a professional for 30 minutes. The activity is monitored via camera, just to ensure that nothing inappropriate happens during your session.
I have to admit, I’m a little bothered by this. I know you can’t be surprised by that revelation, but here’s what I’m struggling with: it’s a well-known fact that cuddling is more beneficial to women than it is to men, at least on a psychological level. I’ve read studies on the chemical releases within the human brain, and men and women have different biological responses to certain things. Women get their mental oil changed by cuddling, while men’s brains have their chemical refresh via orgasm. So, why can we pay to cuddle with a professional, but paying for sex is still a completely taboo – and illegal – practice? It’s fine if it benefits women, but men are once again left in the cold. I guess that just gets on my nerves.
What do you think, gang? Have you tried this? Would you? We’d love to hear your thoughts about, and/or experiences with, the world of professional cuddling…
Welcome back to Group Therapy, where Rock-A-Holics do their best to lend some emotional support to one of their own. We try to help, we really do…
Jeannie wrote in for some assistance with a marital problem. She and her husband have been married for ten years, but they’re both really busy with work and life in general. As a result, they don’t spend a lot of quality time together these days.
Jeannie started going to lunch with a male coworker, and they “really hit it off”, in her words. Over the past year, they became very close, and Jeannie realized she was starting to fall for this guy. Although she insists that they never had any kind of physical contact, she does admit that things were getting out of hand with off-work text messages, and they even made plans to get together with the intent of taking things further. Luckily, they didn’t follow through.
Gosh, I feel like I’ve said this a million times before, but let’s give it one more try: ANY MAN WHO SHOWS YOU ATTENTION, BEYOND THE REQUIRED POLITE INTERACTION, IS INTERESTED IN MORE THAN A FRIENDSHIP.
Jeannie says the coworker has thankfully been promoted to a position in the company that keeps them away from each other, and they both agreed to cut the relationship off. Now, Jeannie is feeling guilty, and she wonders if she should come clean to her husband.
You know, we always start the Group Therapy radio segment with the reminder that professional help is available, but we rarely invoke that as actual advice. In this case, however, I believe that some counseling might be a good thing. Emotional cheating can be dismissed as harmless in our society, but I’m of the opinion that it’s just as damaging as a physical indiscretion…and in some cases, perhaps even more so.
My suggestion of professional help doesn’t mean that your opinions aren’t needed here, folks! We’d love to hear
Hey, gang! We’ll be back with some fresh Group Therapy soon enough…but today, we’re going to throw you a topic of discussion that started on Reddit. A poster on that site asked men what they hate about other men, and here are some of the general points that were brought up:
“I hate men that want to fight other men.”
“I hate guys who comment in true douchebag style on Facebook photo posts made by women.”
“I hate ugly guys who are judgmental about attractive women.”
This list is barely scratching the surface of things you can hate about your own gender, and that includes men AND women. So, let’s hear from you, folks! What do you hate about your own gender?