BJ'S BLOG 09/21/12 "Paying Half"

BJ Shea
BJ Shea
BJ'S BLOG 09/21/12 "Paying Half" by BJ Shea , posted Sep 21 2012 11:37AM

A Rock-A-holic named Toni (who’s a woman in her mid twenties) wrote in because she wasn’t sure if she should go out on a second date with a guy after what he did. When they were on their date, they had a great time, didn’t have any awkward moments, and enjoyed each other’s company. When it came time to pay the bill, the guy asked if they could split it which they did. Toni was convinced this meant that the guy didn’t like her but he called asking her out on a second date. She wasn’t sure if this is how it’s done “these days” or if splitting the check meant he was a cheapskate or if he is just a frugal person because the economy is so bad. Her girlfriends told her she would be crazy to go out with this guy again. If you want to know why it’s more common to be splitting the bill, just look to the women from prior generations. Men are really good at taking a task, hyper focusing on it, and getting it done. That’s what happened when protests about gender equality happened. Some women no longer wanted the door to be held for them; they wanted to bring home the bacon and cook it too. When I was growing up, we never in our wildest dreams would have thought it was ok to let the woman pay for anything. They fought to not be discriminated against because of their gender so I don’t know why a woman would get offended when asked to pay for her half. That’s true equality. If people want true equality then that’s fine, they should just expect to pay for half of the bill because that is the fair thing to do, regardless of gender. Back To Blog

09/21/2012 8:37AM

Please Enter Your Comments Below

09/21/2012 11:16AM

Re: Paying Half

Depends on where they went to eat. He could have been testing the waters to see what she would let him get away with. (Making her pay for more things in the future than just the food bill) Maybe he's really bad with money and just didn't have the funds. If a person had ever pulled this move on me it would be extremely hard to look past. Especially since a good relationship is built on communication. If he didn't explain why he wanted you to pay half, that's the worst step into the wrong direction to begin with.

09/21/2012 11:32AM

Re: Paying Half

As a guy in my mid 20's I have gone both ways. It's just easier to pay for the first date, for this very reason. Although a man should absolutely be able to ask to split the bill. It also says a lot when the woman doesn't mind splittingthe bill. Nobody in their mid 20's has money. I have a masters degree and a good salary, but a lot of debt. Just because he doesn't have money is in no way an indicator of how much he will make in the future. Don't date for money!

09/21/2012 11:58AM

It totally depends

If I REALLY like a girl, and I know she likes me too, I'm going to offer to pay the whole bill. That sends a clear message to the lady about where I think things are going. That being said, if I'm NOT sure where things are going, I'm going to ask for a split check, because I DON'T want to be sending a clear signal, only to have things get awkward. Toni needs to realize this might just be a signal that the guy might not know if they're on the same page, or maybe he's just gotten with the times. If she likes him, she'd be dumb not to go out with him again.

09/21/2012 11:59AM

It totally depends

09/21/2012 7:43PM

lol Paying half

Great idea, if she doesn't like it, good, never have to waist time and money with her again! Really, but how many hoochies just chase after dates for a free meal, when living near Ft Lewis, heard of many soldiers footin the bill for, so many and DARN those guys hardly make any money for what some of them do. Also, in my experiences I think it is great if you don't dig each other, it is good to test what kind of person she is, if she is nice enough to comply with out a huge pause and searing eyes... lol then she may earn a second date at a more lavish restaurant. But really why should men always foot the whole bill ... So, if she like this guy, why not try one more time, if he is still, tight ... try to find out more about him. Maybe there is child support eatin his paycheck away?? lol

09/21/2012 10:32PM

rico

I like turtles

09/21/2012 10:41PM

Feminism ruined America

I think that the person that does the asking should pay. And if they don't want to, it should be established before the couple goes out. On top of that, feminists have ruined America. Equal rights is cool; chivalry was cool, also.

09/24/2012 9:20AM

msspinkybear opinion only and im BACk!!!:)

when he asked,i wouldve said no,i didnt bring anything because i was under the suspicion this was a date and no,i wouldnt call him or go out unless he made it known up front what is up,i dont beat around the bush neither should he,he shouldve stated before hand,we girls dont always like cheapos.ive never been on a date where i paid;) but im old fashioned.

09/25/2012 10:18AM

Never again

I'm 27 years old and the *only* guy that didn't want to cover my part of the check on the first date ended up being very stingy and it ended up that he only wanted sex. He told me this later and said that was the reason he wouldn't pay for my part of the check, so that I would know it wasn't a traditional date and he would have a better conscience about it. That's not what I was going for and he's ruined it for any other guy being able to split a check and continue to date me but then again it hasn't been a problem because he is the only one that has tried. I however make an effort to pay on the second or third date because I think that's only fair.

09/29/2012 6:48AM

Paying their own way if they are equals.

I usually like going dutch because I don't want a woman to feel like she owes me anything. If they want to mess around later, great. When I hear a woman b*tch about going dutch and that "he's not getting anything later"; my first thought is "what is this prostitution? It's also a good way to filter out the women that are freeloaders in relationships. For too long men have been expected to carry the burden of a woman's financial desires. If they are going to be our equals then they should realize that anything with having is worth working for. If they aren't will to work for it, then they must not really need it or want it. You wanted equality, ladies. You got it. There's something really sexy about an independent woman that can pay for her own way. To me, as a man, it says that if I wanted a family with her, and if anything happened to me, she wouldn't be out desperately throwing herself at men to survive. She'd be able to take care of sh*t on her own and when and if she was ready for a relationship later on would be totally independent of her financial situation. My current gf didn't like the door held open for her at first and insisted paying dutch on the first date. Coolest gf I've ever had. Men don't want women that are into sugar daddy fairy tales these days.