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Yesterday on the show, we read this email from a Rock-A-Holic named Mike who needed some advice.
“Hi BJ, very loyal listener here.
I have taken on a woman with 3 kids and I have committed myself to the end. Call me a glutton for punishment, but I refuse to give up no matter HOW tough they make my life!
All the bitching and moaning, asking for everything under the sun, complaining anytime we ask them to do anything and watching an hour of our lives slip by before they FINALLY just do what we say.......oh and don't let me get started on the expenses.
We can barely pay our rent, but my girl always seems to be able to pay for all the sports, orchestra instruments and extra-curricular shit that these greedy little bastards want to do at any given time! I absolutely adore their mother and I am willing to tolerate all that comes with the package.
Do you have any advice for me on how to cope or how to view my situation to make it more bearable from day to day? I also want my girl to be more appreciative of all the sacrifices I've made to be a part of her and her kids' lives, because I think she forgets and there really aren't many guys out there that would choose to be in my shoes I'm thinking.
Thanks, BJ I really appreciate your help.”
This sort of situation is why I can’t stand some of these blended family situations because parents don’t always think it through.
When you pop into the step parent role, you have to have your crap together. It’s not the kid’s responsibility to act like adults here and be expected to be emotionally secure and stable. That’s not their job.
They’ve gone through hell, their parents are no longer together and then here comes a new parent they are just supposed to accept as a suitable replacement?
These are going to be harsh words but she can’t be that great of a partner if she has all this baggage. Is this really the best you can do, you can’t find someone else? What’s that say about you that you’re the one she is with?
A texter wrote in and said that he should stop being entertained by our show and apply what we have talked about, and that’s exactly what he should do.
In the stste of Washington, if the kids call him dad, he may still be on the hook for all that they want.
Blended familys are hard...
My dad married a woman with a 14 year old girl.
The catch? His new wife doesn't believe in "confrontation" or punishments. She was abused as a child and has decided that there is no middle ground when it comes to punishment, that you're either not doing it at all and just "having a talk" with the girl or you're being a cruel a-hole.
You can imagine what a peach her daughter is being raised like that, don't even get me started...
Here's the bright side: The woman my dad married responds well to being... well... "dominated." As long as he says things along the lines of, "This is how it's going to happen. Period. Your little monster does this again and this is the consequences or you can both get the F out." SO, it can be a tense household but as long as he rules with an iron fist, the wife might give him the silent treatment but he's no longer dealing with disrespect from a child.
My dad is my hero
Love from Philly,