BJ'S BLOG 10/16/13 "Confiding In Friends"
Trusting people can be a difficult thing to do, and a bad experience can lead to all kinds of trust issues. Luckily, you can always share your deepest thoughts and feelings with your fellow Rock-A-Holics in Group Therapy!
We recently heard from Diana, who is dealing with a fractured friendship. Diana’s best friend revealed that her husband had been cheating on her; she confided this to Diana, and no one else. Naturally, Diana supported her friend in every way she could. Unfortunately, everything changed when Diana admitted that she strongly disliked the husband in the first place.
I think you know this story, people: The best friend reconciled with the cheating husband, and now Diana’s been left out in the cold. Diana believes that her friend is ashamed of her husband’s actions, and can’t face the one other person who knows about it. Meanwhile, Diana isn’t sure if she should just back off, or try to repair this important friendship.
Diana may be right about the reason, but there’s also the possibility that revealing her feelings about the husband may have created some bad feelings with her BFF. Ultimately, the reasons don’t really matter; this is always a tough hit for a friendship to take.
Getting involved in someone else’s relationship issues is a huge risk. No matter how close you are to your friends, the intimate workings of a marriage can only be solved between the two spouses. Even if the couple goes to counseling, the survival of that bond comes down to the strength of the love and trust that should be the foundation of a good marriage.
A lot of our Group Therapy relationship questions end with this advice: Back off a little, and see if time can heal some wounds. Adding more drama to the best friend’s life, especially while she’s rebuilding a damaged marriage, will almost certainly push the chances of repairing things much further away.