Frank is another Rock-A-Holic who has come to us seeking advice. We read his email yesterday which said he and his fiancé will be getting married in December.
The problem is, while discussing the wedding, his fiancé brought up the fact that she wants her male friend Dave to be a one of her “bridesmaids.”
Dave has been his fiancé’s lifelong friend and he is gay so there is no worry that he is trying to steal his future bride from him but it seems odd to Frank to have a man as a bridesmaid. He thinks this guy is awesome and even offered to have him as one of the groomsmen but his fiancé was insistent that he be a bridesmaid.
I think there is nothing wrong with his fiancé wanting her gay friend to be in her wedding party, my only concern would be if he was heterosexual.
Now sexual orientation doesn’t come into play very often but I think that if a bride-to-be was so close to a strait male friend that she wanted him as a “bridesmaid” then there might be room for concern.
I am a firm believer that when men and women are friends, it is more than likely that an attraction is there from one if not both people. So if someone in the friendship is in a relationship, the chances of problems increase dramatically.
Frank should just let her have her gay male friend join the wedding, it’s not a big deal.
I would have my best friend as a bridesmaid, I decided that along time ago, I think that if I were getting married and this became real, well my fiancee would need to know the whole story, i may be getting married now and there might be attraction between me and my best friend, but the years that my best friend and I have had, we've had time to date or figure out our friendship. There wouldn't be a need for concern because everything at that point would be decided.
Missing a point here....
BJ, Did you stop to consider how Dave feels about all this? I realize the wedding is her day to feel like a princess, but what if Dave doesn't want to be a "bridesmaid"? Way I'm figuring it, she's being just a tad too selfish. If he's OK with being a bridesmaid, then fine, let him. But what if he doesn't?