BJ Shea

 BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 10/19/12 "The Real Secret to a Long Marriage"

Yesterday we read a very sad statistic; only 17% of marriages are “happy.”

According to the new book You Can Be Right (Or You Can Be Married) written by Dana Adam Shapiro, after interviewing hundreds of people, only 1 in 6 are happy in their marriage.

When people ask me what the secret to a long marriage, I have to be honest about this because if I lie, it puts an unfair and unrealistic expectation on marriage.

I’ve been with my wife for 27 years and I am not in love with the same woman I was in love with in my twenties. She’s not the same woman and I’m not the same guy anymore.

Somehow in the midst’s of her wanting to kill me and me wanting to kill her we figured it out, sort of. We are still working at this every day. I just think it’s so wrong when people try to pretend that they have a great relationship just because they’ve been together for a long time.

When someone gets married, they say “for better or worse,” and let me tell you, there is a lot of “worse” that comes with being in a marriage. Bad stuff happens and the reason why I’ve been with my wife for this long is because we are both committed to make it work. It’s not happiness and frolicking through the fields all the time, both of us have to work at it every single day. 

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People : Dana Adam Shapiro

10/19/2012 6:50AM
BJ'S BLOG 10/19/12 "The Real Secret to a Long Marriage"
Please Enter Your Comments Below
10/19/2012 11:47AM
Aww what a gip!
I was hoping for more than what you said on-air. I appreciate your thoughts on it though.
10/19/2012 12:33PM
Sort of agree with you but.. not really?
I think it has a lot to do with how emotionally mature you are too. I mean, lots of people in their 20's and over are perfectly fine with calling their loved one names (btch, a-hole, etc) purely to hurt their feelings. They lash out to hurt, simply because they have been hurt. That's not okay. That's not healthy to a relationship. If you're with someone who continually PURPOSEFULLY hurts you in any way shape or form, LEAVE. You're dating/married a spoiled child. If the sentence, "Talk to me like i'm someone you love." doesn't work to keep disagreements civil, there's probably no hope for that relationship. Love from Philly, Christine
10/19/2012 12:52PM
marriage takes work, passion, agreements, disagreements, talks and fun! Take the good witth the bad. We have 13years and again in love..
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