Hey, gang! Welcome back to another edition of Group Therapy! If you're a Rock-A-Holic who needs some advice, we're ready and willing to help!
How far is too far when it comes to jealousy? That's the question on the mind of Paul, whose otherwise-wonderful girlfriend is – his words, here – "extremely jealous." (This is already sounding like a bad deal to me. Still, we carry on.)
Is it another woman triggering the girlfriend's jealousy? Not exactly; the source of the problem is a gift from another woman. Specifically, a 2005 Chicago White Sox championship jersey, covered in team signatures, that is framed and hanging up in Paul's house.
What an amazing souvenir. I'm sincerely jealous that Paul has this incredible piece of sports memorabilia…but it's the healthy, manly, sports-related kind of jealousy, so that's totally okay.
This particular item was a gift from Paul's ex-special-lady. The new girlfriend has given Paul an ultimatum: if they move in together, he has to sell the jersey, or simply get rid of it. Love has blinded Paul to a considerable degree, because he's actually trying to figure out a way to compromise.
Personally, I think that the new girlfriend sounds like the exact opposite of championship material, and Paul should send her back to the minor leagues. Let's hear what you have to say…
Hey there, Rock-A-Holics! Let's hang out! It doesn't have to be weird or awkward…but let's face it: we can probably guarantee that it WILL be weird and awkward. Maybe we shouldn't tell anyone else about this.
On second thought, maybe we should talk about this in Group Therapy.
Kim has asked for some advice, but I'll just come out and say this upfront: I think what she really wants is for someone to clear her conscience. I'm throwing my hands up and walking away from this one, because I'm definitely in the "not okay with it" camp here.
So, Kim's boyfriend is out of the country on work, and will continue to be for another month. The boyfriend had been gone for an entire week before Kim decided to spend "7 or 8 hours" with her ex, last Saturday night. The current boyfriend doesn't like the ex-boyfriend very much, because he thinks the ex is still in love with Kim.
Kim says the ex is just a good friend. Sure, they dated for FOUR YEARS, but they're just buddies now! I guess that explains why she didn't tell her boyfriend that she spent time with this guy. In fact, she didn't just "not tell him"…she lied about it when he asked her how she spent her weekend.
I think this case is pretty much open-and-shut for me. If Kim has nothing to hide, and the ex isn't a threat to her current relationship…then why didn't she just tell her boyfriend the truth?
Am I overreacting? Let's hear your thoughts, good people!
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:
Sometimes silence from the scary side of life can be just as frightening as the verbosity and pompous attitude of the misfits of show business.
Justin Bieber turned 20 on Saturday, March 1 (I'm surprised it wasn't April 1 instead). What's scary is the only noise the Little Bieber is making is about his work on making some new noise, I mean music, in Atlanta, while lawyers in three cities are preparing to defend him in court. The Little Bieber has a number of court dates this month: There is the Florida drunk-driving charge, the California egg-throwing charge, and the charge for smacking his limo driver on the back of the head. Let's hope they try him as a man, not a boy, and convict him that way.
In other blessed silences, Alec Baldwin said he was leaving public life, and let us all hope he really means it. He said he could no longer enjoy New York the way he used to, "But this is how the world now sees me. I haven't changed, but public life has.... Now I don't want to be Mr. Show Business anymore." What did you expect, Alec? You went looking for love on the big screen and stage, and for a while, people loved you. As a celebrity you must have known that cameras and the people who use them go with the territory. Now love us and just go away quietly.
Harold Ramis of Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters, and a long list of other great films, died February 24. He made us all laugh and never seemed to mind that in doing so he became a celebrity. He handled the spotlight with grace and dignity and made our world a little brighter.
Finally, my friend B.J. Shea and the crew at The B.J. Shea Morning Experience on KISW, "The Rock of Seattle," just inked a new 5-year contract and deserve great big congratulations. B.J. is another celebrity who handles fame with full appreciation of his good fortune and lives his life giving back.
Among celebrities, we have both pompous jerks and good men and women, but unfortunately it's the pompous jerks we hear about most. It gets scary when they go quiet. What are they up to now?
Hear more about these and other rambling thoughts on the shores of Rambling Harbor. Come on ashore.
According to a new study, women are faster than men when it comes to breaking up with someone.
On average, a woman will take 6 days of thinking before pulling the trigger on a relationship. Men, on the other hand, have a tendency to think it over for much longer; their average time is a full month. I can actually see how this leads to some confusion for women, because they can usually tell when something’s going in a guy’s head, and a whole month of hemming-and-hawing is ripe territory for miscommunication.
This is the age of the casual relationship, so there’s probably some room for debate when it comes to the definition of “breakup.” Whatever the case may be, it seems like women are probably going to come out considerably quicker on the draw overall.
I’d love to hear what you think about this, gang! Do these numbers match up with your personal experience? Do you have any thoughts on why women might end things first? Ladies, do you need 6 days to think over your answers to these questions? Guys, do you need a whole month? Honestly, I’m not sure if we have that kind of time…
The Rock-A-Holics are a loyal and trustworthy lot…well, except for that guy in the back. Oh, and I didn’t see you there, ma’am. That couple who just walked in? You can’t trust ‘em as far as you can throw ‘em, but I don’t have much upper arm strength, so maybe that’s unfair.
We need to open up some Group Therapy for Danny, who is looking for feedback from any Rock-A-Holics who are surviving an affair. Danny’s wife cheated during a rocky part of their marriage, but he feels like anybody can make a mistake, even one as a serious as infidelity, and he’d like to give their marriage another shot.
Danny’s friends think that he should dump her, but he’s not ready to give up. His wife also wants to keep the marriage going, so there’s no question about the willingness of both parties. Danny would love to hear your advice and stories, successful or otherwise.
BONUS HONESTY POINTS: Have you ever been the cheater in this scenario? How did you rebuild the relationship after your own indiscretion?
Hello again, gang! You know I hate to brag, but I believe we may have the best Group Therapy in the “not backed by any licensed therapy training or similar education” category. Plus, it’s absolutely free advice! That’s good enough for me, so I hope that’s good enough for you.
Speaking of bragging, that’s our topic for the day! I know, I know…we’re pretty clever like that.
We heard from a Rock-A-Holic named Bill, whose wife made him very mad by posting a single sentence on Facebook:
“I flirted to get out of a speeding ticket.”
Bill claims that he has no problem with the flirting, because he already knew about it. He claims the real issue here is that his wife was bragging about flirting, and he thinks that’s disrespectful to their marriage.
After you recover from being shocked that someone didn’t like a thing they read on Facebook, maybe you can share your thoughts with us.
Do you think that Bill’s wife’s post showed a lack of respect for her relationship?
Do you believe Bill is really okay with the fact that his wife flirted to save herself from a ticket?
BONUS HONESTY POINTS: Have you ever flirted your way out of trouble?
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:
Seattle is the home of the current super bowl champions. I say current because sooner or later my New England Patriots will revolt and rebel and take back the coveted crown of blood, cuts, and broken bones.
I’ve traveled extensively in the U.S, but I’ve never been to Seattle. I love the north coast of the West Coast, and Oregon has one of the most beautiful coastlines in the world. I have been as far north as Klamath Falls, just north of the California border and just south of Crater Lake National Park, a truly beautiful area.
If you ask my friends in Seattle what else Seattle has besides the Seahawks, they might say, what else do we need? If you’ve never heard of the FISH! Philosophy, perhaps you have never talked to a trout or salmon or your company doesn’t know, or want you to know, about it. The FISH! Philosophy is commonly used to improve the culture of an organization, and it began at Pike Place Fish Market in—you guessed it—Seattle!
Walking through the Pike Place Fish Market, you might find yourself dodging fish of various types—trout, pike, salmon—all flying through the air, launching from one station and landing safely in the arms of a fishmonger at another station. The flying fish in the Pike Place Fish Market have not grown wings but are being hurled by fishmongers from one to the other to help bring a happy, fun sport to what must be an otherwise cold, boring job. There are variations on the flying fish idea since it would not be a good business practice, for instance, for bank tellers to be throwing stacks of $50 bills around (although if you find such a bank, let me know), but the basic idea is to not only be productive at work but to have a hell of a good time doing it. I’ll talk more about this in the podcast, but here’s a warning: if you try bringing fun and weirdness to your job, your coworkers might view you as strange, to say the least.
In the podcast, some thoughts on the Tonight Show along with whatever else pops into my almost totally unrehearsed and flying-fish mind. I hope you will join me on the shores of Rambling Harbor. Just click the link and come ashore.
Hello again, good people! Gather the family around the laptop and enjoy some Group Therapy with us, won’t you?
We heard from a Rock-A-Holic named Thomas, whose daughter was cheated on by her boyfriend. They’re both 23 years old, but they’ve been together since high school. Needless to say, there’s no small amount of heartbreak involved with this situation.
The daughter has dumped her cheating guy, but they still continue to talk. Thomas doesn’t like the idea of his little girl being hurt by someone she loves, but he also feels like this may be a useful life lesson in the long run.
On the other hand, the boyfriend did his cheating in a mean, hurtful way – and that has left Thomas with some lingering bad feelings. He’s been fighting the urge to call the boyfriend and tell him off.
At this point, Thomas is really looking for feedback from anyone who cares to share. Speaking as a parent, I can tell you that I get as defensive as the next guy when it comes to my daughter’s emotional happiness…but I’d like to hear your thoughts on this particular situation.
Do you think Thomas has the right to get involved in this matter? Is telling the boyfriend off going to have repercussions down the line, especially if the daughter takes him back? Have you ever faced a situation like this?
You are cordially invited to the wedding of FRANK and FRANK’S GIRLFRIEND. If you’d like to attend Frank’s bachelor party, please be prepared for bars and strip clubs. It’s that final Guys Night Out that every soon-to-be-married man has to face on his way to the altar. There will be excessive drinking and lewd behavior. GUARANTEED.
(Sounds like a perfect evening to share with your future father-in-law, right?)
So, here’s the Group Therapy lowdown, in case we aren’t being clear:
Frank is getting married in 3 weeks. As you might expect, he’s going to have a wild night at the bars and strip clubs for his bachelor party.
Frank is definitely looking forward to the debauchery, but he’s starting to think that maybe he should invite his future father-in-law. After all, dad-in-law is a “guy’s guy”, and the two men have formed a close relationship over the last ten years. The old man gave Frank his first job after high school, and his blessing to marry his daughter! Frank considers him a true father figure.
That’s all well and good, but…speaking as a father, I have ZERO desire to be involved with something like that. Not with my son, and not with a future son-in-law. Maybe that’s just me, though.
Is it weird to invite your future father-in-law to your bachelor party? Has anyone ever done that, and lived to tell the tale afterwards? Let’s hear it, folks!