BJ'S BLOG 11/12/13 "Spouse Bonding"
As Thanksgiving approaches, everyone stops and reflects about what they are thankful for; a job, good health, family, or being in a happy relationship.
Ashley and her husband made it through a difficult time together, and that’s definitely an accomplishment. Following the advice of Ashley’s therapist, they have started spending more time together, including each other in various activities. Ashley’s husband has started going to yoga class with her! Isn’t that great?
Apparently, it’s not so great for Ashley.
She’s embarrassed to take her husband to yoga. She wouldn’t go into detail about exactly why she’s struggling with the situation, but she claims that people in class will stare at her husband, and she is mortified by…well, whatever it is he’s doing. (We suspect it may be a gas issue, but we can’t say for sure. Maybe he’s ogling the other women, hypnotized by all the yoga pants?)
I use the word “balance” fairly often when we’re talking about relationships, but it’s really one of the most important things for a couple to find for themselves. When two spouses can include each other in some of their traditionally-solo activities – and it works – that can definitely be a good thing. When the spouse’s presence starts to take away from the activity, things can get awkward.
That’s where the balance comes in: Maybe it’s time to be honest about the yoga situation, and focus on finding an activity that works for husband and wife equally. Letting the problem continue will only stir up bad feelings, and that could lead right back to the rough patch they found their way out of.