BJ'S BLOG 11/28/12 "The Grass Isn't Always Greener"
by BJ Shea,posted Nov 28 2012 12:24PM
Yesterday we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Amber.
Amber says she loves her husband but she finds herself having feelings for her boss as well.
She says he hasn’t made any moves on her but she is really attracted to him and they do spend a lot of time together. She finds herself thinking about him more and more that’s she’s even considered quitting her job so she can stop!
She can’t quit her job because she needs the second income and she doesn’t think she can find another job quickly so Amber wanted our advice.
It’s so funny how people seem to put themselves in a no win scenario where they think they are between a rock and a hard place when in reality they’re creating it.
I’m going to give my nugget and it’s very simple: my therapist told me that it is very common for people in relationships to have crushes on other people. You do have boundaries and you stay within those boundaries. If you have a reason why you can’t stay in that boundary and you want to cross it, it is time to look inside and figure out what is wrong with your life.
The grass on the other side may look appealing but the reality is…it never is; so what is wrong in your life that is making you want that other grass. It could be that you’re not in a great relationship or maybe you’re just overworked, whatever the case maybe, there is resentment somewhere.
The fact is most people just don’t want to put in the work to find the source of that resentment and fix the problem, they just want to do the easy thing which is to run away from the problem or self medicate. That’s always a short term relief…and a long term disaster.