Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read and email from a Rock-A-Holic named Jason.
Jason has been with “his girl” for seven years and they have two daughters together ages three and six.
The problem is that the six-year-old is actually his step daughter and her biological father wants to be in her life.
Jason has raised this little girl since she was eight months old while her bio father never sees her unless they run into him, doesn’t talk much about her, and rarely pays child support. He also doesn’t have a job but still manages to buy a truck and support a marijuana habit.
I have never been in this situation before but what I do know is that those children are the most important things to think about here. Now I say both kids because this is something that is going to create stress on the 6-year-old and the 3-year-old will feel it too. They’re the precious cargo and the ones you are supposed to be taking care of until they’re adults, so you have to make sure to really think things through.
For one, the biological father needs to take look at the situation and if by being in the picture is just going to confuse and hurt his daughter, then maybe he should keep his distance.
Also, the way Jason wrote the email, he referred to the mother of his kids as “my girl” which makes me think that they are not married.
If that is case, and this goes for everyone who has kids out of marriage, why wouldn’t you tie the knot? I know marriage isn’t for everyone but there is legality involved here, why wouldn’t you want to create a stable parenting team for your kids? It just seems sloppy to do it out of order.
Hey, BJ. Thanks for your words of wisdom. I haven't gone through this, yet, but it's on the horizon. My ex is not quite as deadbeat, but my daughter doesn't even know he exists. My husband is dad, as far as she is concerned. Thank you again.