Yesterday during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Jeffery.
Jeffery is a married man with three teenage boys. They recently moved to a nice neighborhood where they live next door to two teen girls.
They’ve gone out to dinner with the family and have a great time. The only problem is that the girls are in charge of the yard word and when it’s warm, they do their chores short shorts, tanks tops, and bikinis and has caught his sons staring at them through their windows.
Jeffery says that he and his wife don’t want them influenced by “overly sexualized displays” and wanted to know if it would be ok to ask the girls’ dad to have them cover up a little bit.
In other words, it’s Jeffery’s wife that doesn’t want her boys seeing this and Jeffery is going along with it to avoid a fight.
What is happening to men in society? I’m the first one to say that women should be responsible about how they display and behave around men but if it’s warm out and they’re doing yard work in their own yard, then they’re not doing anything wrong.
They’re not wearing anything that you wouldn’t see at the beach; will you ban your boys from going to beaches too?
Jeffery, I’m sure there won’t be any hurt feelings when you go over to your neighbor’s house and ask the dad to have a conversation he doesn’t want to have with his daughters. That would go over well (by the way, I am being very sarcastic) I’m sure if I was that father, who is probably already walking on egg shells because he has two teen girls, and you told me to tell my daughters to cover up because they basically look like whores, I would not be happy about it.
Boys are going to be boys and part of growing up is checking out girls their age if they’re heterosexual. Same thing with the girls; part of being a heterosexual teenage girl is to want to attract the attention of boys her age.
It seems to me that it might be Jeffery’s wife who has the problem with the way the girls are dressing because it’s either a reminder that she’s getting older and/or that her sons are not her little boys anymore.
What Jeffery really needs to do is stand up to his wife and tell her that there is nothing wrong with any of this and to just teach his boys how to take preventative and respectful actions before doing something more than looking.
Steve Crecelius, who’s a photographer from Colorado, recently went to the hospital for a kidney stone. While there, he found out that he was actually a woman. Even though Steve appeared to have male genitalia, the ultrasound indicated he also had internal female sex organs, which is known as "intersex."
Since the discovery and with the support of his wife and six kids, Steve has decided to live her life as a woman named “Stevie,” she takes hormones and has no plans to undergo gender reassignment surgery.
“It validated everything I had always felt inside,” Stevie said when she found out. “In retrospect, the diagnosis makes sense," she explains, “I remember wearing my mom’s clothes and makeup, very secretly, not telling anybody.”
“When I was 17, I was working my first part-time job at a TV station as a floor cameraman and the person in charge said to me, ‘You know, you walk like a queer,’” she added, “And I thought I was hiding who I was, and I wasn’t.”
So Steve was wired and born this way yet some people would hate him because he is now living as a woman and still married to his wife.
This is what pisses me off about extreme religionists. Their bible says that no man shall lie with another man yet God creates people with both sets of genitalia and creates people who are attracted to the same gender and yet they are the ones who are looked at as abominations.
It doesn’t seem right to me that God would tell us not to be one way in his holy book yet create people who are the opposite. Perhaps God isn’t the problem, but the people who claim they speak his word.
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read a message Matt sent us on Facebook.
Matt and his wife have been together for ten years and have been married for almost two years.
They have two houses and a new car under both of their names.
For the last 3-4 months, his wife has been acting distant from Matt and recently told him that she is no longer in love with him and wants to take a break.
After Matt looked into more closely, he found out that she had been sneaking around behind his back with another man. When he talked to her about it she said she has only talked and kissed him a lot. His wife did agree to go to counseling to try to fix this but Matt isn’t sure if it will help and if he could ever trust her again.
This really is a very difficult situation. I always say that counseling is the way to go; it will help you put things in perspective and help you figure out where you want to go to in your relationship.
The one thing that concerns me is that she said she doesn’t love you Matt anymore. Everyone gets stressed out and makes mistakes and sometimes they do things they wouldn’t do normally but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.
You just don’t say that you don’t love your spouse anymore for no reason.
The best advice I can give Matt is to get counseling for himself and call a lawyer to know how to protect himself if they do get a divorced.
Yesterday during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-holic named Rose.
What Rose needed help with was with what to do with someone who hasn’t paid their owed money back…but it wasn’t her money, it was her boyfriend’s.
About a year ago, Rose’s boyfriend lent his best friend $700 so his car wouldn’t get towed. He has asked about it on a few occasions but still hasn’t gotten it back. They don’t talk as often anymore because of it and Rose’s boyfriend is bummed out and has given up asking.
Rose feels like this friend is a jerk and is considering talking to him herself. She’s thinking she will threaten him with small claims court if he doesn’t shell out the money he owes her boyfriend.
What Rose wanted to know is if she should get involved or just stay out of it.
First off, she has no real place to get into her boyfriend’s money issues because they are not married and they are HIS issues.
Second of all, this is a harsh lesson for Rose’s boyfriend (and others in the same situation) to learn. You better believe the boyfriend will think twice before lending out money again.
Here is the real rule of thumb when it comes to giving others money: never lend money, gift it. If you don’t have enough money to just give it away then don’t do it! When you gift money, don’t expect it back, and if they do give it back, it’s a bonus, but you won’t be pissed if they don’t.
Frankly, if someone doesn’t have the money to take care of their own things, let them lose their stuff. They will learn the importance of money management.
No one should be expected to put themselves in “financial” harm’s way to bail out somebody else.
Last week during Group Therapy, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Gina.
Gina has a seven-year-old son named Trevor. He’s a good kid who gets good grades and also happens to be a big Miley Cyrus fan. She recently bought him a Miley Cyrus shirt and he loved it so much that he couldn’t wait to wear it to school to show off. The only problem is that while Gina thinks it’s cute, her husband says that it’s wimpy and will cause him to get made fun of.
Gina wanted to know if she should let him go to school wearing the Miley shirt she bought him.
This is a difficult situation and even though Gina feels like her husband is, as she put it, “a male chauvinistic pig” I think a man should have a say on what his son gets to do.
There is validity to what he’s saying because he was a 7-year-old boy once and knows what it’s like. What you girls went through in school is not the same what a boy goes through.
No boy wants the word “cute” attached to him by his mommy as he grows because of the grief his buddies will give them. Boys can easily get made fun of at that age and Trevor’s dad clearly doesn’t want to see his boy go through a bad time.
My biggest advice is to let his father explain it to him without attacking him. Dad can explain that he runs the possibility of getting made fun of and that actions have consequences.
Yesterday as we started off the show, I read a story that really got on my nerves.
Donnell Battie from New Jersey is suing Wal-Mart for one million dollars after someone hijacked the intercom system and said something that caused Donnell “emotional distress.”
TWO YEARS AGO on March 14, 2010, a 16-year-old, (who was not an employee) went on the intercom and said, “Attention Wal-Mart customers: All black people leave the store now.”
The manager quickly went on the intercom system and apologized for what happen and the cops were called to arrest the 16-year-old on harassment and bias intimidation charges.
Donnell says that the announcement has led to depression, anxiety, anger, loss of sleep and appetite, paranoia, anti-social tendencies and loss of enjoyment in activities and that he is suing Wal-Mart because they were negligent to let this happen in the first place.
I think this jerk of a lawyer is negligent for taking this case! I am embarrassed to be a citizen of a country that allows people to sue over things as ridiculous as this!
Is your skin that thin that you can’t understand that a jerk is just being a jerk?
I feel bad for Wal-Mart; yes they’ve made mistakes like any other company has but they seem to be the target for everything. They have apologized and said they would do everything in their power to make sure this doesn’t happen again and that is completely reasonable.
I would like to get on the intercom and say: Attention shoppers, anyone with thin skin please leave the store now!
Yesterday we read a story about a man that I think is embarrassing every American I know because of his great accomplishments.
Gac Filipaj is a 52-year-old janitor at Columbia University and he just graduated with a bachelor's degree after 12 years, from the same university he works at!
Gac fled Montenegro in 1992 to escape a brutal civil war and came to the United States before he was able to finish his law studies.
He wasn’t young when he started this either, he was 32-years-old which isn’t where you want to hit reset and start all over again. It took him seven years to first learn English so he could even take the classes. Then, thanks to being an employee of Columbia University, he received 14 free credits to school which he used by attending classes before starting a janitor shift that ran from 2:30 p.m. to 11 p.m.
You would think that now since Gac has a bachelor’s degree he would get a higher paying job elsewhere but that is not the case. He wants to work towards a Masters Degree and even a Ph.D. which he would use to become a teacher some day.
When asked why he’s not interest in trying to make more with his degree, he said, “The richness is in me, in my heart and in my head, not in my pockets.”
Gac’s story is amazing but I think it shows that as a collective, we have a weak minded country.
This guy is probably one of the happiest guys you’d walk into because he is free of the ridiculousness and turmoil that surrounds the rest of us.
We used to have more people like this; back when WW2 was over, the world was free and there was opportunity, people had the same vibe as Gac because they were done with the horror they had to live with.
We don’t have that anymore because we have a bunch of entitled babies who can’t understand how this guy could do something this. Without any complaining he worked an undesirable job, learned a new language and went to college all at once.
We could really learn something from men like Gac Filipaj.
Last week during Listeners on the Loose, a Rock-A-Holic named Beverly called in asking why some people like to screw over people.
Beverly was dating a guy who knocked up another woman and he was lying to Beverly by saying that he was no longer with the mother of his unborn child but wanted Beverly to be a step mother figure in his kid’s life.
She did eventually leave him but asked the show why someone would try to screw another person over.
The thing is he didn’t screw her over because she was smart enough to leave when things were going wrong. Everyone always has a choice, and those who get screwed over are letting themselves be taken advantage of.
That’s why it’s advantageous to have a good support system in your life to make you strong enough to make good choice..and keep yourself from getting “screwed over.”
Yesterday we read an email from Chelsea during Group Therapy who has some serious problems.
She recently broke up with a guy who treated her really poorly and moved to Portland, Oregon to live with her sister.
After the break up, she found out she was three months pregnant and it belongs to her ex. Chelsea thought the right thing to do is to tell her ex since he is the father. When she told him, he immediately said he wanted to get back together with her to raise the baby together and if not, he would try to get complete custody of it.
Chelsea doesn’t want to be with him yet she doesn’t want her kid to grow up without a father.
I don’t mean to beat up Chelsea, but she’s 28 years old…that is old enough to know better.
I’m going to use her as an example for other women.
Why would you have unprotected sex with someone you didn’t think you were going to be with much longer?
You have to be responsible for your own vagina because no one else will. You don’t want to have a child in the midst of drama where there will be court cases and financially instability. Is that really the life you want to give your child?
We know men are irrational when they are horny and I try my best to train guys to be proactive before they get into bed with anyone but we need to also be training the women on how to be responsible with their vagina.
My word of advice to Chelsea is to seek some therapeutic advice from a professional. This doesn’t mean that you can’t make it, but it’s probably best you don’t start a relationship with this guy again and seek the proper support system for your life and your baby’s life.
Yesterday on the show, we talked about a case of sexual harassment that involved a man suing a female police officer for motor boating!
A female Texas Constable named Pam Matranga is being sued by former deputy James Gist after she allegedly pulled her blouse over his head and pressed her breasts against his head.
On another occasion, Matranga allegedly mimicking how a topless dancer would perform a lap dance at a strip club while joking about attending 'chunky chick night' at strip clubs in the area where she would perform.
And in case you’re wondering, this is what Matranga looks like:
Mataraga did tell the Daily News, “I’m a jester, I am not a girlie girl. I think a lot of things have been taken out of context.”
Mataraga also says that Gist is just trying to bring her down after she wouldn’t falsify some documents for him. I’m sorry, how is ramming someone’s face in your bosom taken in another context than what it is?
I’m not going to say where or when this was, but at one point in my radio career, I had someone do the same thing to me. A larger, burley woman rammed my face in between her breasts in front of a lot of people saying something along the lines of “you know you want these.” Not only was the inappropriate work place behavior but she was being disrespectful to me and my wife. This happened at the time where we had to be very careful with HR and how we behaved so having this happen, dumfounded me. I decided to be a good employee and not cause trouble but let’s be honest, if the genders were swapped, the man would have been fired!
Here is a message to all of the woman out there who don’t see the problem with this: it doesn’t matter how “non-girly” or how big of a tomboy you are, you are not allowed to do this.
The Parents Television Council (PTC) is at it again! Yesterday on the show, we talked about how the PTC is boycotting “America’s Got Talent” because Howard Stern is now going to be a judge on the show. As a part of the boycott, they’ve been sending letter to advertisers in attempts to pull the show off the air.
They don’t want Howard on the show because of his reputation of being controversial and edgy, but he’s a performer! That’s what he gets paid to do!
I am just so frustrated by boycotts that boycott legal activity that a lot of people like. A boycott is supposed to bring attention to a heinous situation the majority believes that needs to be changed. What I want to know is how some people could think that Howard Stern being on “America’s Got Talent” is such a big problem.
They sent letters to 91 different companies in hopes that NBC will cancel the whole show!
The Parents Television Council is using their religious belief system to terrorize companies in a country that allows you think and believe in what you want.
If you have an issue with Howard, then don’t watch the show! Let the ratings decide, don’t go out and terrorize Americans and American companies for exercising their legal right of choice.
During Group Therapy yesterday, we read an email from Johnny asking us for some help with what to do with his wife and some unwanted visitors.
His wife invited her friend and her two kids to stay over for two weeks and they don’t even have room for them because they have three kids of their own. On top of that, the friend is 6 months pregnant.
Johnny thinks this is too long and that an appropriate amount of staying time would be 3-4 days tops and wanted to know if anyone agreed with him.
It doesn’t even sound like she discussed this with Johnny, it just seems like she told him what was going to happen. Not only did she not respect Johnny by discussing it with him, but she also didn’t take into consideration the possible stress this could bring to their own kids.
I’ve said this before and I think everyone should keep this in mind: the home must be kept as a sanctuary for your children. It is their safe space there they can escape from everything out in the world and to let somebody come in that doesn’t make them feel comfortable or safe is not fair to the kids.
In the past when a person has not gotten along with my kids and my wife wants to have them come back, I talk to my kids first to see how they feel. If they say they don’t want them to stay, I tell my wife they cannot stay with us. It’s not about having the kids “run the house,” it’s about respecting their feelings and home by not bringing someone in it that will cause them discomfort.
What Johnny’s wife needs to realize is that their kids are their permanent house guests and they should always come first.
Last week on the show, we read a study that proves that everything I’ve been saying about guy and girl friendships for years!
Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire recently examined the platonic, opposite-sex friendships of over 400 adults, ranging in age from 18 to 52 and found that opposite-sex friend’s ships across the board make people miserable.
According to Dr. April Bleske-Rechek, the principal researcher, in the majority of opposite-sex friendships, there is "at least a low level of attraction."
The attraction generally comes more from one friend over the other and that friend is usually the male and the reason is that males are just wired to have sex with as many females as possible.
Dr. Bleske-Rechek goes to explain:"Historically, men faced the risk of being shut out, genetically, if they didn't take advantage of various reproductive opportunities. So the argument is that men have evolved to be far more sexually opportunistic."
Now I’ve known many people who have said that men should just learn to “keep it in their pants” but we are not genetically wired for that.
That being said, I think that is the problem with a lot of younger adults because they’ve been trained to fraternize between the genders but we now know that only causes problems.
This is something I’ve known all along, unless you’re in a group setting, the only people you should be hanging out with are people of your same gender…and now science is on my side.
Today's blog was written by a good friend of the show's and fellow Rock-A-Holic, Chad Almquist.
Bully you are?! Well! F*** YOU!
I'm so sad right now! I most of the time complain about, how lonely I am, how I have so many problems. I just found out that a beautiful woman I know. Her young cousin, only 13. Took her own life, I think, thats what happened. She was bullied in School! I myself was bullied. All my life. from 1st grade till 8th grade! I know how this beautiful girl felt. At that time. way back in the early 80's. We had no facebook! Or the internet. Yet we all have paper and pen. those were the facebooks of the day! I remember they posted flyers all over! Saying how much of a loser I was.
I never wanted to go to school, I love to go so much. Yet the odds were not in my favor! I would trick my parents into letting me stay at home. I had a real history of ear infections. Also I had some cavities in my teeth.
I would take toothpicks and stick them into the cavities and build up blood. Then I would take that blood and stick it in my ears.To make it look like I was bleeding in the ears. What do you know, it worked! Weird part, when I went to the doctor. They found I really had a ear infection. Was it power of the mind? Well , who knows. either way, I got out of school! Which I was so happy to not be teased and hated.
I grew up poor, and part of the reason I was teased. I wore clothes that came out of dumpsters,neighbors and other places. I wore a pair of jeans that turned out to be a girls kind. They were bell bottoms. Wow, I got teased to no end for those jeans. I thought I looked awesome. Yet again, I felt horrible. Kids all through out the school called me a girly boy! Even the girls picked on me, I once got beat up by a girl, way back in 83'. In Shaloshan, Tacoma. I think thats how you spell it. This girls didn't like me and we got into a fight. She beat my ass! I never wanted to fight her, she was kinda hot to me. I have a strong attraction to african american girls.
Yet she kicked my ass! Later we did become friends. Yet it still was one peg into me being bullied for the next 5 to 6 years. Getting my ass kicked by a girl! LOL! really Chad! I was always a lover, more then a fighter.
There is too much to my life, in the story of my time being bullied. there are hundreds of times. where I struggled, tortured, beaten, teased, and everything under the sun! I survived. I never let those losers, dictate my life. I was the laughing stalk of the entire school till 87'. Then I put them in there place! I went from a 1.0 grade point average,. to a whopping 3.5 GPA my 12th grade year!
I didn't give a s*** anymore! Those f***ers, those stupid mother f***ing bullies that tried to throw those obstacles in my way! even in my highschool years! I mowed them down, Even the stupid ass! vice-principal of Federal Way High! He was the biggest bully of them all! the sorry sack of rotting pig vomit loos stool garlic f***ing bull s*** f***er idiot! He tried his best to turn me into a loser! Yet I showed him and his underhanded evil henchman! I was a winner and I would graduate with honors! I showed them and I DID!
that is how you do it! I didn't give in, I could have! I could have killed myself, I could have hung, shot, ODed, jumped and many other things to take a way out! I'm a guy though, I see things different, I have a awesome Mom, and had a Super Awesome Dad, I was always able to come to them and talk and come up with a plan to attack my problems head on. Which some do not have. Which I'm so sad that this girl, did not have anyone to go too, or she did not feel she could go to them.. I wish I could have known her. I would have looked her in the eyes and hugged her. I would have told her, it is going to be ok. it is not worth taking your life. People love you. What they think, is wrong. I just wish I could be better to know these things. I wish I could have talked to her, so bad. There is so much in life that is awesome! It shatters my heart!
I hope others can find this story, and contact me or someone. there is no need to leave this world. People love you, and even though I don't know you. I love you, how can you not love people that are going through, or have been through the same thing. Please, Talk to me! We are Family!
Congratulations Seattle, we’ve made national news again for something idiotic. On May 1st, also known as “May Day”, many people went out to protest with the intent to show the “1%” what life without the “99%” would look like and encourages all workers and students to take the day off in solidarity against income inequality.
Knowing that, many “anarchists” ran around downtown Seattle, destroying store windows and car windows, throwing urine filled bottles at police officers, and just vandalizing what they could.
I know they have vandalism on the east coast as well but it just blows me away to see these morons running around with their black bandanas and destroying everything!
Many of them had back packs on and people were worried that they were carrying weapons when in reality it was just a change of clothes. They were so cowardly they would change back into their “normal clothes” so they could blend in with the crowd after causing destruction.
When I think of the military men and women or police officers who go out in real danger everyday and fight for our freedoms, REAL heroes, and then think of these anarchists who are the antithesis, I have even bigger respect for anyone in the military and our police force.
By the way, they don’t wear masks, everyone knows who they are; they are not cowards who smash and dash!
Do you think urinating in a bottle and throwing it someone who works a job to protect morons like you and is probably vastly underpaid is going to end capitalism.
It also sucks for the people who were actually down there to protest because they are now associated with all of this. The protesters were just trying to get their message out, in a legal way, and I have to say that whether I agree with what they’re protesting or not, I support the hell out of what they are doing. They are trying to get their voices heard and they didn’t cause any harm to anyone.
It’s the jerks that dress in masks that really piss me off. To all of you cowards who participated in the destruction, I have this to say: You deserve nothing because you’re a loser. Vandalism is not the answer to capitalism, idiots.
Bottom line is this: If you really have a problem with how things are being run, you need to mobilize and vote out the incumbent, you can call yourself the “disruptive party”; this would really have an effect on this country. It would be non-violent, you wouldn’t disruptive anyone’s work day, but you would screw up the system. Trust me the government would take notice more so than knocking down store windows.
Yesterday during News and Sports, Steve talked about the ironic thing Dan Savage is being called and why.
For those who don’t know, Dan Savage is an openly gay man who is big on anti-bullying and writes a sex advice column in the Seattle newspaper “The Stranger.”
While giving a speech to a group of high school journalists, he started focusing on the “hypocrisy” of Christians who wouldn’t condemn anti-gay bullying because of what the Bible says about homosexuality.
During his rant he said, “We can learn to ignore the bulls— in the Bible about gay people… the same way we have learned to ignore the bulls— in the Bible about shellfish, about slavery, about dinner, about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation. We ignore bulls— in the Bible about all sorts of things.”
At that point, about 20 or 30 students and advisors quietly stood up and walked out of the auditorium.
That’s when Dan said, “It’s funny, as someone who is the receiving end of beatings that are justified by the Bible, how pansy-assed some people react when you push back,”
Since those comments, Dan has been called a bully, something he supposedly fights against. Dan did apologize via a statement he made on The Stranger’s website. Here is what he said:
I would like to apologize for describing that walk out as a pansy-assed move. I wasn’t calling the handful of students who left pansies (2800+ students, most of them Christian, stayed and listened), just the walk-out itself. But that’s a distinction without a difference — kinda like when religious conservatives tells their gay friends that they ‘love the sinner, hate the sin. They’re often shocked when their gay friends get upset because, hey, they were making a distinction between the person (lovable!) and the person’s actions (not so much!). But gay people feel insulted by ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’ because it is insulting. Likewise, my use of ‘pansy-assed’ was insulting, it was name-calling, and it was wrong. And I apologize for saying it.
Dan is an intelligent man who, just like everyone else, got a little upset and said things he regretted. I don’t have a problem with that; what I have a problem with is that he wasn’t accountable for his mistakes.
I lost a lot of respect for Dan. He should have just come out just apologized and that’s it.
He said he wasn’t calling the students “pansy assed” but the walk-out itself, “pansy assed” but isn’t that the same thing? Claiming you did what Christians do, doesn’t change the fact that you inferred that they were “pansy assed.”
I am so sick of people making excuses, blaming other people, and just not being accountable for their own actions. We are humans, we make mistakes, we lose our tempers, so it’s ok to just apologize for the things we’ve done wrong. Adding an excuse just negates the apology…and Dan, that is bull—.
Yesterday after Beat the Producer, we talked about the latest news of anger problems in the world of baseball.
Detroit Tiger’s outfielder, Delmon Young, was arrested late Friday night on a hate-crime harassment charge.
According to the police report, Young was in New York, outside of a Hilton hotel when a group of tourists who were also staying in the hotel, approached a panhandler wearing a yarmulke and a Star of David around his neck. When the group of tourists walked up to the hotel doors, Young started yelling anti-Semitic epithets.
It is still not clear who Young was yelling at but he go into a physical confrontation and one of the tourists ended up being tacked. Young was believed to be intoxicated.
Young has since apologized and is headed to alcohol and anger management evaluations.
There are now reports saying that he has been suspended by Major League Baseball for seven days without pay which will cost him approximately $257,240 of his $6,725,000 salary.
That’s a joke…no bad deed seems to get punished in the world of baseball. I think this guy should be suspended for a longer period of time and should go to jail.
For those who don’t remember, Young was the guy who threw a bat at an umpire’s chest in 2006 in the minor leagues and was suspended 50 games for that!
Here is the video:
Delmon has proved that he has anger issues so I don’t believe he deserves to be allowed to play the game of baseball and get paid ridiculous amounts of money…until her gets help.
Major league baseball needs to intervene; if he wants to redeem himself to be allowed to play again, he needs to go to alcohol and mental rehab for a year. If he can prove that he can get his life back together, then he would be allowed to play again.
Delmon Young needs to be held accountable for his actions just like the rest of us.