Last week on the show, Mandy emailed us asking for help with a problem she was having with her husband over her wedding dress.
Mandy and her husband have been married for three years now and the other day while online, he found that there are consignment stores that would pay good money for her wedding dress.
He told her she should sell it because it takes up closet space, she would never wear again anyways and they could use the money.
Like most women, she doesn’t want to part with it because of the sentimental value attached to the dress and she hopes that she can pass it along to her kids one day.
To makes matters worse, when she asked why they need the money, it was because he wants a jet ski.
One thing guys need to realize is that most women know how to argue so you have to really think about what you’re going to say beforehand.
If you’re not on your game when you go into a big conversation, you won’t come out as a victor.
What ladies also need to understand is that due to this equality movement, guys have been trained to treat women the same as men. So, like a lot men, sees no sentimental value in a wedding dress. If we had an article of clothing worth that much that we would never wear again, we would sell it for the cash.
So ladies, this equality mission has made us men treat you equally but the genders have different values modes of communication and thought processes. The equality is about mutual respect…not cookie cutter…across the board treatment of each other.
A few days ago, a Rock-A-Holic named Brandy reached out to us looking for some help for her cousin.
Brandy’s cousin is the Auburn woman, Stacy Ankerfelt, who was hit by a car and was in critical condition in the hospital.
Earlier this week, Steve reported that the man who was driving the car that struck Stacy has been charged with vehicular assault.
When the police arrived at the scene, they reported that 20-year-old Samuel Cruz appeared to be under the influence of something. He admitted that he takes a drug called Suboxone for opiate dependency.
One rock-A-Holic texted in saying that Suboxone won’t mess you up unless you abuse it.
It is really lame and sad to see people, who have a history of substance abuse, being allowed to hurt innocent law abiding citizens. It’s all because of how bad our system is right now!
Our politicians are seriously screwing us over. While Obama and Romney are out spending millions of dollars trying to get a job that only pays thousands, poor Stacy is a 5th grade teacher who hasn’t done anything wrong and is in the hospital in critical condition because nothing is being done to regulate these idiots.
We are letting them be in charge of regulating themselves when they shouldn’t have free will or have the same rights as the rest of us. That is something that needs to be changed.
We don’t let 13-years-olds drive because we know they can’t handle it so why would be let someone who we know can’t regulate their drug usage as well?
Once you’ve severely broken the law because of drugs and/or alcohol and until you can prove that you can really take care of yourself, you shouldn’t be allowed to roam around freely.
Yesterday on the show, I read a story about a man and the amount of kids he has that really got under my skin.
Desmond Hatchett, a 33-year-old from Tennessee has made the news when he went to court asking the judge for him to give him a break with his child support payments to…HIS 30 KIDS!
He has 30 babies with 11 different women. On two occasions, he had four babies in one year.
This isn’t the first time he has been in the news; back in 2009, when he only had 21 babies with the 11 women, he promised the courts he would stop having kids but has since made 9 more in those three years!
On top of all that, he works a minimum wage which limits his payments to as little at $1.49 among some of the women.
Sadly, there is currently nothing that the state can do to limit him from having more children.
Since we know that Desmond isn’t properly providing for each one of his kids, we can assume that any woman who would have a kid with this irresponsible loser must not be doing a whole lot to contribute to society and are living on welfare.
All I have to say is thank you Democrats! This is your system that is clearly not working!
If the government wants to make American citizens pay for people like this, then we should have a say in what they can do!
These people shouldn’t be allowed to be parents. I would much rather have our tax money pay for the vasectomy/ tubal ligation and for the foster homes for the kids instead of having them run around doing what they keep doing.
Yesterday during Group Therapy, I read a Facebook message from a Rock-A-Holic named “Sally” who was having problems motivating her boyfriend.
“Sally” has been with this man for five years and has two little girls with him. While she’s at her part time job or at school, he takes care of their daughters and has been a stay at home dad since the first baby was born.
Now she wants him to go out and get a job or start going to school, and she even filled out his paper work for the fall quarter of classes but he’s still dragging his feet.
“Sally” is just tired of him sitting at home “watching” the kids and playing video games all day.
When you have had a boyfriend for only five years and have children together, what do you expect will happen? “Sally” is in the middle of hell because just like some women, didn’t think she had to follow the rules when it came to having kids.
It used to be that if you were young, didn’t have chosen career path, you hadn’t finished schooling, and were an unwed parent, it was a bad thing. You weren’t a bad person but it wasn’t a good position to be in. Now in the year 2012, the feminist movement has told us that some women cannot be wrong about anything. It didn’t start out that way but, for some it has become the “women are never wrong movement.”
I don’t mean to beat her up because she is a Rock-A-Holic but I do want to use her as an example because I have to help out other young people before they find themselves in a similar situation that can be avoided.
The bottom line is that “Sally” made the mistake of having children with a man she was with for only a few years. If you start making babies with someone you don’t really know and without a marriage commitment…that is a really bad thing.
My rule for people in their 20’s is to court for five years before they can get married. Then, after three years of marriage, it’s ok to start having kids. That gives you eight years to really get to know your partner, get your finances and life in order, and creates a good foundation for your relationship that you and your children deserve.
On Friday Aurora, Colorado was struck with Tragedy while many Batman movie fans were gunned down by a man named James Holmes during the midnight premiere.
Now I don’t want to talk about why James did what he did or see the videos of the aftermath, I want to talk about what should be done to prevent this from happening again.
James Holmes is obviously severely disturbed and many people knew about it but nothing was done.
We’ve heard too many stories where the family members of a mentally unstable person asked the government to try to put said person behind bars or back on medication and they were ignored until tragedy happened. Another example of this is Ian Stawicki and the Café Racer shootings.
Can’t the government step in and do something about all of the sick people running around? President Obama and Mitt Romney are just focusing on going back and forth with their ridiculousness in attempts to get elected yet ignore big issues like this.
We need to set up a program where people who have signs of mental illness can get the proper evaluation so they can be set up with the correct medication and treatment.
If the government can change laws so that banks can screw us over, why can’t we change the laws to make sure that sick people get the attention they need?
I just hope that this doesn’t leave anyone with a bad tasted about any certain genre of movies or entertainment. It wasn’t the movie’s fault; it was the government’s fault for not taking actions to prevent this from happening in the first place.
The saddest thing is that this could have been prevented; this should be priority number one.
Yesterday we had a Group Therapy first; the Rock-A-Holic answered his own question in his email.
Harry just got a new car a month ago and decided to go on a road trip with his friend to celebrate. During the road trip, he let his buddy drive, and accidently hit a gas pump when opening the door, causing a huge dent.
Harry is really upset and wants his friend to pay the $800 to fix the dent. The only problem is Harry knows his friend can’t pay for it and doesn’t want to create any tension.
The thing is Harry admitted he could pay for the damage without any problem. He answered his own question! He doesn’t want to cause issues with his friend and he can pay for it himself, so just pay for it yourself!
Yes, your friend was the one that caused the damage, but the fault isn’t his, it’s yours. Whenever you give anyone permission to handle your property, you are the one giving them control therefore, you are still responsible for any accidents that happen.
Greed or anger shouldn’t come in the way of a friendship. What Harry’s friend should have done was at least offer to pay for something and Harry should have appreciated the offer but pay for it himself and then move on.
Yesterday I got really annoyed about a Twitter war that our friend of the show, Simon Pegg was involved in with “feminist geek” Courtney Stoker.
If you don’t know of Simon Pegg, he’s the actor that was in Hot Fuzz, Shawn of the Dead and he plays Scotty in the new Star Trek films, and I’ve had the chance to hang out with him at a baseball game and he really is a great guy.
What happened was Courtney got upset that Simon tweeted this:
Simon Pegg: Also, I've got a thing about cosplay girls. They're like zombie stormtroopers, a glorious combination of beloved things. #SDCC”
Simon Pegg: *makes noise like Homer Simpson thinking of donuts*
Here is what Courtney wrote in response:
Courtney Stoker: “OMG @simonpegg, that is gross. Cosplayers do not actually exist to fulfill your sexual fantasies. #cosplay”
Courtney Stoker: “Female geeks, even Leia cosplayers, are a part of the geek community. NOT DECORATION. @simonpegg #cosplay”
I really wanted to go off on this but it seems that no matter what you do to defend a person who is being attacked, if the attacker is a feminist you will always look like the bad guy.
It also seems like some feminists have this force field around them so even though they might be wrong about something and being mean, you can never defend yourself because they can say whatever they want behind that feminist fence and claim you are against women.
It’s really unfair.
Even though I think his Homer comment is funny, I can understand how some people might not like how he said that, and that’s ok. There is no problem with that.
You can read the rest of their Twitter conversation here:
If you look at the women in the picture, they look like they are in good shape and seem like they would appreciate being found attractive especially by a fellow geek like Simon Pegg.
There is so much wrong about this whole battle; Courtney also writes in her blog:
“Here’s the thing: “sexuality” is not about objectifying women. Actual sexuality is *being sexual.* Drooling over cosplay women, calling them “girls,” and suggesting that their fandom and cosplaying are just there to get you off? That’s not sexuality. That’s just you being gross.”
Does anyone else see the irony of Courtney defending the honor of women who dress up in the costume of a character who was kidnapped and forced into slavery by an alien womanizer? The costume that said alien womanizer forced her to wear for his enjoyment?
I think Courtney’s anger is misplaced, and the reality is that some feminists can’t come to grips with the fact that those women freely and gleefully chose to wear that outfit…an outfit that was intended to titillate.
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Shawna who is having a problem involving her honeymoon.
Her fiancé has a daughter and a very flakey ex wife who only wants to take the kid when it’s convenient for her. The ex wife has told Shawna and her fiancé that she doesn’t want to take the child for two weeks so Shawna’s fiancé says he want to take his daughter with them on her honeymoon.
Shawna loves her future step daughter but doesn’t want to take her on her honey moon and isn’t sure how to tell her fiancé.
First off, the ex-wife sounds like a #BLD (bitches love drama). She is using her child to try to ruin someone else’s honeymoon, a time of romance and happiness because it sounds like she wants to make her ex and Shawna miserable.
We as men have been told from a young age how to treat women so it’s a little disheartening to see how women treat their “sisters.”
Second of all, Shawna, you are marrying a man who already has kids, what are you expecting?
I know this sounds harsh but Shawna’s fiancé brings a lot of baggage to the relationship so it’s hard for me to understand why Shawna is with him unless she also has baggage.
When you date someone with the baggage of a spiteful ex wife and children, you have to expect that these kinds of things will happen.
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read a text message we received at 77999 from a Rock-A-Holic named Chelsea.
Chelsea has been in a relationship for five months and just recently her boyfriend admitted to her that he also is attracted to men. She said in the text message that she loves him and knows he loves her but is afraid that he might be using her to cover “his gay life.”
The problem I had with this text message is the fact that she said she loves him and she’s only been with him for FIVE months! How can you really be in love with someone after that short of a time period? I can like someone a lot but it will take years before I truly love someone, five months is nothing!
The word “love” has been ruined in today’s society because it is used for everything. “I love you!” “I love them!” “I love lamp!” The word Chelsea should have used the word “committed,” because they are clearly monogamous but haven’t been together long enough to have the true feelings of love.
Another problem I had with this text is how Chelsea says that she knows he loves her but isn’t sure if he’s just using her to cover “his gay life.”
Here’s the deal, if you say that you know he loves you but aren’t sure if he’s just using you that means you really don’t trust him.
When someone cares about another person, they decide to put things aside for that person, and that could be what Chelsea’s boyfriend is doing.
Chelsea has proved that she still has a lot of growing up to do, and shouldn’t be using the word “love” yet until she learns what love really is.
Last we the big news came out about the Penn State scandal and how much everyone there actually knew was going on with Jerry Sandusky.
The thing about athletics I’ve always hated was the “good old boys” network who are willing to lie and put people in harm’s way just to make their group look good, and nothing demonstrates this better than the Penn State scandal.
Former FBI director Louis Freeh held a press conference about his investigation in the Penn sexual scandal and here is the video:
So basically they found that the most powerful men in Penn State failed to take any action to protect these children who were sexually assaulted by Sandusky even though they knew what was going on.
There is a lot of money in college football especially in a top school like Penn State so it’s sad and shocking to me that we as human beings put money and prestige over the safety of children.
Personally, I think it’s bad enough that they take advantage of the college athletes but look at what they did at Penn State to keep their money train going.
Freeh also said that it wasn’t just the higher ups who said nothing about what Sandusky was doing but also the people who were on the bottom of the totem pole as well. It’s a horrible thing that they didn’t say anything but at the same time, they were afraid of 1: losing their jobs and 2: afraid of not being believed and having to go up against such a giant juggernaut.
I also read that they have not yet decided if they are going to take down Joe Paterno’s statue. If Penn States wants to regain any credibility to their college, the first step is to take down that statue.
Yesterday we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Natasha who was in desperate need of Group Therapy.
Natasha was stuck in the middle between her best friend and her family. Natasha’s brother had an affair with her best friend and his wife caught them. Her sister-in-law agreed to reconcile the relationship and has insisted Natasha end her friendship with her best friend home wrecker.
The problem is that Natasha, even though she knows what her best friend did was wrong, doesn’t want to lose contact with her but wants to still see her family.
First off, I don’t know why Natasha would want this woman, who disrupted her family dynamic, in her life. I do feel bad for Natasha though because she did nothing wrong and yet she lost her friend.
Second off, her brother and sister-in-law need to go through couples’s therapy especially the sister-in-law. I understand she is in a lot of pain and she has the right to be given the situation, but you don’t have the right to control other people because of it!
Third off, if you’re in a man in Natasha’s brother’s situation, you have to understand that men are stupid when horny so you have to be prepared before you get into a situation where you become aroused. You want to make sure you don’t sleep with a person that will ruin your life!
Daniel Tosh, who hosts the Comedy Central series "Tosh.0”, had to apologize for a joke he said at a recent gig.
A woman was so offended that she heckled Daniel and eventually walked out and demanded a refund.
This really irritates me; my stance on comedy and hecklers is that you don’t have to like the performance but you can’t get mad over what they say.
If you decide to be a heckler at a comedy show, you need to understand that the comic will respond as a performer! I get that comedians will sometimes say things that are “shocking” and out of context of the comedy gig would be considered horrific statements, but when you are at a comedy show, and they are in response to someone who is interrupting an act, all bets are off!
If you open your mouth at a comedy club, the comic is going to do what he does within his style to take control of the room again.
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read a text from a Rock-A-Holic named “Pat.”
“Pat” recently met her half brother who is friends with some of her friends but he has no idea they are siblings.
What happened was that their dad had an affair with “Pat’s” mom which ended when her mom got pregnant with her.
“Pat” met her father last year but he didn’t want to have a relationship with her and didn’t tell his family about her.
Even though that was the case, she has gotten to know her half brother through mutual friends and has gotten to see that he is a cool guy but isn’t sure if she should tell him that they are related.
Recently we’ve had a lot of Group Therapies about people wanting to find long lost relatives but this situation is a tough one. Normally I would say don’t go looking for a family that may not accept you and start drama but this is different.
It’s one thing if you are looking to dig up information, but in this case, it’s already there.
It just sucks that her birth father wants nothing to do with her and it’s probably because he doesn’t want everyone to know about his affair in the first place.
Whatever “Pat” decides to do in this case, she is not in the wrong. Who IS in the wrong is that father who was not responsible with his penis. If you go out and make babies with multiple women then leave, expect that anything can happen and that you will have to pay for it sooner or later.
“Pat’s” biological dad can’t blame anyone for what happens in this situation but himself. If “Pat” decides she wants a relationship with her brother and it makes everyone hate him for lying and cheating, that is all on him.
Last week during the Fourth of July, actor and comedian Chris Rock tweeted something that really hit a nerve with me.
Here is what he tweeted:
"Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks."
Actors Don Cheadle and Zach Braff liked the joke as well.
I am just really tired of the people who chastise America for celebrating America.
The very essence of the Revolutionary War was surely part of the Emancipation Proclamation.
What I would like to ask all of the African Americans who believe that white people are to blame for all the problems their ancestors had is how do you think they got free in the first place?
What about all the brave white people who helped the Underground Railroad and stood up by saying that slavery was wrong, going against a resistant system?
It seems like no one celebrates them while people like Chris Rock insult all Caucasian Americans, including those ancestors who only stood up for their fellow man, regardless of race.
I thought when Barrack Obama got into the White House, it would prove that this country has come a long way, but seeing this makes me think otherwise.
Earlier this week, we received this message from Thomas on Facebook:
Hello BJ,
I had a question I thought you might be able to help me with. My father was adopted and he refuses to find his real parents and says I would be dishonoring him if I found them. I feel that not looking for them and knowing who our real family is dishonoring my right to know. Should I look for them or respect my father’s wishes.
Thanks BJ,
Thomas
Boy, my generation has really raised our children to believe they can do any friggin’ thing they want. Some young people in this country think there are no rules, no boundaries and are allowed to do whatever they please.
We have to live on this planet with other people surrounding us; it’s not all about you. You can’t be a narcissistic person and think that the whole world revolves around you because you have to live and coexist with others on this planet. That means you can’t do everything YOU want to do.
If someone wants one thing and you want another thing, then you have settle in the middle.
I’m sorry Thomas, but I think you’re clueless. Is it really that important to find the people who gave up your father? What good can come out of it and is it worth jeopardizing your relationship with your father?
I came from a family where wewere all adopted and my sister decided to go find her birth family. The pain on my father’s face was one I never wanted to cause him. My father raised us; he was there through the good and the bad. Her birth family got to have fun and party with her and not have to deal with all those bad times and it’s not fair.
Respect your father’s wishes, think of someone else’s needs and wants for a change. It’s how co-existence works.
Yesterday on the show, we talked about what topped the list of Men's Ten Biggest Complaints About Women done by eHarmony.com.
How many times have I said that men understand women more than women understand men? That’s where we are in society! As little boys we are taught how to treat our mothers, sisters, etc and yet women are been taught nothing about how to treat boys and men.
I know that dating websites cater to women so this information can be valuable for any woman out there looking for a partner whether online or in person.
Here is what topped the list:
3. You're always looking down the road.
2. Your expectations are set by Hollywood and sky high.
Talk about double standard; we’ve heard from women that they just want to be listened to while they rant or went and that they don’t want to be “fixed” or helped yet that is what they do.
Some women like to find the “bad boys” and try to mold them into their ideal man.
Steve made a great point, if a man were to say that with $1000 worth or nose jobs and breast implants, a woman can be “fixed” to be a great partner, there would be an outrage!
Ladies, if you really want to find a good man, you have to actually learn how to treat men, which does not include disrespecting us by treating us like little broken projects.
Last week, we received an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Will who needed some Group Therapy.
Will and his girlfriend went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their one year anniversary. While at dinner, Will noticed his girlfriend was wearing a pair of diamond earrings he’s never seen on her before. When he asked where they came from, she said that they were a gift from her LAST boyfriend!
They got into a fight over it and when Will asked for her not to wear them she said that she loved them and she would wear them whenever she wanted!
Wow. This proves once again how some women are clueless about men.
Men don’t like to see another man’s mark on our significant others and that is all Will is going to think about when he looks at those earrings. His girlfriend knew perfectly well what would happen if she told him the truth yet she did it anyways.
Some women today think they can and are allowed to do everything and anything they want. Guys, the best thing you can do if your girl is going off on you saying that she gets to do whatever she wants, is to leave. If she’s allowed to do whatever she wants, so can you and you can prove it by leaving. Either you’ll be walking away from a bad situation for good or she will snap out of it and realize if she wants to keep the relationship, she must change her selfish ways.
My advice for women and men in similar situations is to either don’t say where the item came from or don’t wear it at all. Simple as that.
