BJ Shea

 BJ Shea
Posts from May 2013


BJ'S BLOG 05/31/13 "Teaching Today"
Yesterday on the show, we talked about a 4th grade teacher in Illinois named Ellie Eubenstein, who quit her job via YouTube. 

She says that the reason she is quitting is because the education system is too focused on testing instead of finding constructive and creative ways to teach students. 

You can watch the full video here:




I personally think the video is rather self serving and she could have done it in a shorter time but she does have a point.

Many schools are cutting art and music programs to make way for advance placement classes because they look better on a college application. The truth is that not every kid needs to go to college! Some might need just a trade school or maybe just an apprenticeship for the job that is best for them.


When I was a senior in high school, I had an English teacher come up to me and ask why I wasn’t in theatre or on a stage. When I ask what he meant he said I had a big mouth and was a funny kid and that I should be performing.

This is was the first time anyone had ever said this to me. Everyone else told me to sit down and shut up because I could never make money telling jokes. Guess what, because of that English teacher, I am in front of the microphone now.  

Sadly because of this new way of teaching, teachers don’t have the ability to really encourage kids to pursue a career best suited to their talents and passions.  




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Topics: Education
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Locations: Illinois
People: Ellie Eubenstein




 
BJ'S BLOG 05/30/13 "Domestic Violence Reality"
Last week I read a story that really shows a glimpse of the truth about domestic violence in this country.
 
 
Christina Salinas, a 37-year-old from Rough and Ready, California got into argument with her husband, Anthony Hill, because they left the rodeo they were attending early.
 
 
There was drinking involved and once they got home, Christina and her husband got into a scuffle where she bit his hand and scrotum!
 
 
She also allegedly struck the couple’s young daughter which resulted in the police coming and taking her to jail on a felony domestic violence charge and a misdemeanor child cruelty count. 
 
 
These stories are always sad to read but I’ve mentioned before that according to US statistics, domestic violence is a 50/50 problem at best. Some people want everyone to believe that it’s mostly men perpetrating this kind of activity but the more we hear about these stories, the more it proves that women are committing these acts just as much as men. 
 
It’s sad that a child had to be involved in the mess of her drunken foolish mother. We need to start addressing the problem because it is not gender specific; it’s an “everybody” problem.
 
 
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Topics: Social Issues
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Locations: California
People: Anthony HillChristina Salinas




 
BJ'S BLOG 05/29/13 "Research VS Real Issues"
Today's blog features one of my mentor's, Dan Sanders:
 
In this podcast,  some thoughts about  Bob Dylan, Ray Manzerak, B.J. Shea and Wesley from Wagg Wagga I’m sure you know who B.J. Shea is, and no doubt Wesley from Wagga Wagga. But you don’t know who Bob Dylan is?
 
 Well, in this podcast you will learn some things. We know May24th was Bob Dylan’s birthday. We sadly lost Ray Manzerak to cancer a few days ago. He flew  to Germany to seek some type of treatment not available in the United States. Very much what Farrah Fawcett did. In last-ditch efforts to save their lives from one god-forsaken  disease Cancer, Cancer that took my wife and over the years to many  of my friends. And it is very likely it will take me and take you.  No matter how loudly the researchers, and hospitals, cry for financial help. We insist on drawing penises on Mars for billions of dollars instead of putting money into research. And so people like Ray Manzerak, and Farrah Fawcett, are left with two choices, a quick death sometimes after a long battle, or the grasping at straws for a cure in other countries. It may be me next month it could be you. I hope if someday I’m lying in a hospital bed with IVs hooked up to ma and a chemo machine. The TV isn’t showing me pictures of the Mars rover drawing penises on Mars.
 
As for Bob Dylan, he has been a part of my life’s soundtrack since 1961. As he played around Greenwich Village, before it was overrun by yuppies, one favorite spot was  Gerde’s Folk Village.  There will be little more on Dylan as well inside Rambling Harbor.
 
 And as for B.J. Shea and the great audio and written editor Wesley those mysteries will begin to be unraveled as  this podcast and future ones unravel.
 
I have been asked why this podcast is called Rambling Harbor. Two simple answers I live on a Ramble and I Harbor.

http://dbsanders.podbean.com/2013/05/28/ramblings-on-bob-dylan-and-ray-manzerak/
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BJ'S BLOG 04/24/13 "Open Marriage"
 
A Rock-A-Holic named Karen wrote in asking for some Group Therapy with a big problem.

A few months ago her husband uncovered an affair she was having with an old flame. He proceeded to move out and initiated divorce proceedings. In the time since however, she has shown him that she is truly repentant and that they should give their marriage a second chance for their children. 

The problem now though is that he says if he were to give it another shot, he wants it to be an open marriage because there is no way he could ever trust her again. He doesn’t feel the obligation to be faithful to her anymore and at least this way that could be in the open. 

Karen tried explaining that she got it out of her system and she doesn’t want to be with anyone other than him and the thought about him with another woman makes her ill. She just wants things to go back to how they used to be.

I didn’t want to be mean to Karen but I could really feel she has no idea how beyond unbelievable she sounds. Guess what, things are not going to be like they used to be! When a person betrays their spouse’s trust, hearts get broken…sometimes beyond repair.

I don’t think Karen’s husband is out of line for asking for an open marriage because it’s not an unfair situation. He’s not saying she’s not allowed to sleep with anyone but him, he’s saying they both can have sex with each other or whoever they want and it’s out in the open.

They both need to seek some form of help whether a mentor they trust or therapist because they both have proven they don’t have the ability to repair  this relationship by themselves.





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BJ'S BLOG 04/23/13 "Phone Cheating"
 Earlier this week, during Group Therapy, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Christian who is having issues with her fiancé.

She recently found out he has been having secret phone conversations with another woman for over a year now! The way she found out was that he used her cell phone to call her when his died. He said he was talking to the auto mechanic but after he called this strange number a few times from her phone, she decided to call it.

When she called, it went to the voicemail of a woman she knows. When she confronted her fiancé about why he would be talking to this woman and lying about it, he said that it’s not that big of a deal and threw the fact that she still contacts her ex in her face.

Christian admits she still keeps in contact with her ex husband but that’s because they have a child together and they have to!

First off, this is who she agreed to marry and he’s obviously not very intelligent…so what does this say about her. When anyone wants to complain about their significant other’s idiotic actions, they have to stop and remember they chose to be with this “genius.” 

Secondly, I feel like women are starting to feel the effects from the demands of some women back in the 80’s and 70’s. Some of the women from those eras wanted men to become more sensitive and become their friends. Now in the year 2013, men are doing just that, they are making and staying friends with females but it creates conflict once they get into relationships.
 
 It was also pointed out that maybe this guy wanted to get caught and have Christian break up the relationship. Either way, before saying “I do” they should get some counseling to see if they really should be saying “I Don’t.” 
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BJ'S BLOG 05/21/13 "Take a Look in the Mirror "
Last week, a Rock-A-Holic named Heather sent us message which I read during Group Therapy.
She dated a guy for two years and has a one-year-old with him. While they were together, he did cheat on her and is currently with the girl he cheated with. The issue is, he is now cheating on his current girlfriend… with Heather!

She wanted to know if she should just tell his current girlfriend about what is going on so that the other girl can leave them be or if there is even a point because this guy is destined to be a cheater forever.

The fact that she is considering getting back together with a cheater means she deserves it! She deserves being with a cheating man. On top of that, she is doing the painful thing that was done to her! She is helping a man cheat on their partner!

Heather needs to take a good hard look in the mirror and figure out who is responsible for the crap in her life, because when a person realizes this, only then will they be capable of making the necessary changes to make things better.
 
 
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Topics: Human Interest




 
BJ'S BLOG 05/20/13 "Pop Culture."
Today's blog is from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders.  If you're looking for the reason why I think, talk and act the way I do... he's a good one to blame, uh, I mean give credit to.
 
 
Pop culture, it has been suggested to me that I should perhaps become more aware of pop culture.
 
The term pop culture was coined the 19th century or earlier. The term traditionally referred to the education and general culture of the lower class in contrast to the “official culture” and higher education of the dominated classes.
 
Popular culture is the entirety of ideas, perspectives, attitude's images and other phenomena that are within the mainstream of a given culture, especially Western culture of the early to mid-20th century, and early 21st century. And this collection of influences seeps into the everyday lives, in one way or another, of all people.

When we turn on our TVs, read a newspaper  read a comic book  or watch a move, we are being infused with the days trending “Pop Culture."
 
So it becomes obvious that what we consider to be our pop culture is largely influenced by the media. This makes me wonder what was pop culture to Henry David Thoreau, he had no TV, No radio, No mass media.  And yet to many, he is still very popular, as is the likes of Charles Dickens, who died in 1870, and of course the still popular at least in some circles William Shakespeare. Of course, we will ignore the fact that Shakespeare later went on to form a rap group known as "Willie Shake and the Why Fourths."

Obviously, Willie,  Dickey and Henry are not as popular as The Dark Knight, Star Trek Into The Darkness, Modern family, and OJ Simpson, and more. Or at least that is what the mass media will have us believe .
 
This podcast will deal with a few of the so called “Trending” issues of the last week.
 
Enjoy, and as always, comments are more than welcome.
 
http://www.dbsanders.podbean.com/
 
P.s. It has already been brought to my attention that Angelina Jolie, is pronounced Jo Lee as in beautiful, and I did say Jo Lay. My listener is correct, and I can’t imagine what I was thinking about? 

There is another mistake, I am aware of, found it myself. And that is when I said I rushed home and turned on the radio. The Brady Bunch, were never on the radio.

The person that finds the next mistake gets to listen to next week’s pod cast and find more. LOL
 
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BJ'S BLOG 05/17/13 "Young and Dumb"
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read a text we received at 77999 from a Rock-A-Holic named Lisa who was furious at her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend of five years just admitted to her that when they first started dating he once let his best friend and roommate at the time hide in the closet and watch them get intimate!

His excuse was that they had just started dating, he didn’t know if they were going to be long term and it happened when they were “young and dumb.”

She feels sick to her stomach looking at him and isn’t sure how to handle this situation.

First question I have is why he felt the need to tell her because right now he’s being “old and dumb.”   This falls under the category of things to never tell your significant other! Nothing good can come from this unless the point was to give her a reason to end the relationship.


Guys like this make all men look bad; I understand that when a male is horny he makes bad decisions especially if you include young age, alcohol, and stupidity.  

This is why I suggest always having some sort of counsel or mentor in your life because they will tell you when something is simply a bad idea. Sadly with the number of kids that did or are growing up with a single parent, they don’t get that support system they need.

The thing people must also consider about relationships is that you are going to get challenged severely; it will kick the crap out of you, the question is, are you willing to take what it can throw at you. Like your significant other’s bad behavior?
 
 
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BJ'S BLOG 05/15/13 "Guilt"
Earlier this week on the show, we received an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Ariel who needed some relationship help.

Ariel was considering getting back together with her ex boyfriend who has broken up with her twice.  The reason they broke both times is because he is a Jehovah’s Witness and feels guilty dating a Pagan girl.  Also, he can’t stand the guilt he gets every time they have premarital sex.

She has been thinking about telling him that the only way she would get back together with him is if he goes to therapy and gets his issues sorted out; but she’s wondering if that is even a fair thing to ask of him.

I have actually met Ariel before and I know she is a really cool chick and I really want to see her do great things.

One of the things my therapist has taught me is when someone tells another person to go to therapy, it might be an indication that the person issuing the statement needs therapy themselves.

Why would anyone want to be with someone who feels bad or guilty when they are together?  If you’re willing to be with a person like this, what does that say about how you feel about yourself?  Ariel deserves to be with a great guy who won’t mind what she’s into.

As for her ex, it’s sad to see people so negatively affected by their indoctrinated religious beliefs so I don’t blame him for feeling the way he does.

Therapy could definitely be beneficial for the both of them, but only if they go on their own free will and not as an ultimatum.
 
 
 
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BJ'S BLOG 05/13/13 "Incompetent Parenting"
Last Friday during the Lukewarm Topic, we read a story about a woman who should be nominated for mother of the year.
 
Deborah Tagle of Santa Fe, Texas waited seven hours to take her 14-year-old son to the hospital AFTER he was shot in the thigh! The reason she waited was becuase she was searching Web MD for how to treat a gun shot wound instead of taking her son to the hospital!
 
24-year-old Pete Jesse Rodriguez who lives with the boy and his mother, was playing a game with the teenager where Pete pointed and followed him with his gun as the boy ran.
 
Pete was arrested and charged with one count of injury to a child with intent to commit serious bodily injury and officials say that Deborah will be charged with injury to a child by omission.

I’m not sure what relation Pete is to the mother or son but regardless, he and Deborah are prime examples of why we should have parent licenses in this country.

People should be forced to pass a test proving they are smart enough to know what is safe and what is dangerous before they have any involvement with kids!

If we do start a parent licensing program, less and less children will be getting hurt due to incompetent adults who are in charge of them! 
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Topics: Law_Crime
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Locations: Santa FeTexas
People: Deborah TaglePete Jesse Rodriguez




 
BJ'S BLOG 05/09/13 "No Turning the Other Cheek"
The news has been everywhere this week but if you haven’t heard, three women that have been missing for ten years have been found!

Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight managed to escape the home they were held captive on Monday after years of sexual and psychological abuse.  Police say that the women were apparently kept in different rooms where they were bound by ropes and chains at times.

They escaped when Amanda Berry broke through a door and ran for help and contacted the police who then helped rescue the other two women and her daughter Amanda bore while in captivity.

Ariel Castro has been charged for the rape and kidnapping of these three women and the judge set bail at $2 million for each criminal count he faces.

Also to be considered is how the abuse caused a ripple affect when something like this happens. 

What about the pain the families of these women suffered all these years thinking they might be dead and never had closure since their bodies were never found?
Imagine how much more pain they have to endure when they hear about the torture their loved ones went through over these last ten years.


As a father, I cannot imagine the hell it would be. 

We all have this instinct as human beings that makes up want to see these men pay for what they have done but there will be some who think that forgiveness is the correct path and we should turn the other cheek.

I feel like this government really has to do their job and punish these horrible human beings to the fullest extent; sadly I don’t feel like “the fullest extent” exists. The government never seems to do a good enough job punishing people who do something as heinous as this, they just “rehabilitate” these criminals. 

No one wants to see these men go through rehabilitation after they have caused so much horror and pain; we just want them to get a punishment that fits their crimes!

What really irritates me is all the passive people who think that these animals should get another chance and that we shouldn’t harbor any ill will towards them.  What would they do if they went through that same hell? They wouldn’t be talking about turning the other cheek that’s for sure. 
 
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BJ's BLOG 05/08/13 "Keep it to Yourself"
During Group Therapy yesterday, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Kevin who found out some information he didn’t know if he should keep to himself or not.

While looking at an adult websites, he found naked pictures of his best friend’s daughter! She’s in her early 20’s so she’s not underage. The pictures were of her husband and her on a swinger’s website.

Kevin has known her since she was very young and isn’t sure how and if he should broach telling his buddy about this.

Look, if you’re not an actual part of the family, why say anything about something like this?

What if the buddy already knows and if fine with it and Kevin comes up to him with a disturbed/disapproving attitude? He might get offended by his disapproval!

It’s the internet, it’s not private information. Sooner or later this info will get revealed and that is for them to deal with in their family. It may be uncomfortable for you, but imagine how uncomfortable it would be for your buddy to hear this from you?
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BJ'S BLOG 06/07/13 "No More Celebrity Rehab"
Last week on the show, we talked about a TV show that is ending, and the circumstances are reasonable.

Dr. Drew Pinsky from "Celebrity Rehab" says that he has no plans on continuing the show because of the stress of the job.

He said during an interview, "I'm tired of taking all the heat -- it's just ridiculous."

"To have people questioning my motives and taking aim at me because people get sick and die because they have a life-threatening disease -- if Rodney King has a heart attack I have to take the blame for that? That's literally what's happening these days.”

He also said, "Treating addiction is treating addiction, and we had a program that was second to none. We could handle anything ... We were good -- we did that for 20 years. That's enough, I think."
 
It is completely unfair that people blame Dr. Drew for something that happens all the time! He’s there to help them as much as he can, but he can’t prevent them all from passing away!
 
If you watch the show you know that they never glorify the addictions and shows the harsh realities of these people’s problems. I’m very appreciative that this show has been on air because I have learned a lot about what these people go through.

This is a horrible problem that people die from and it’s ridiculous that Dr. Drew is being blamed for just trying to help.
 
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BJ'S BLOG 05/03/13 "A Man's Instinct?"
Yesterday, we read a message from Rock-A-Holic Emily who is not happy with what she found in her boyfriend’s luggage.

The other day when her boyfriend returned home from a trip he took with some friends, she helped him unpack and found condoms in his suitcase.


When she asked why he had condoms with him he said it was “a man’s instinct” to bring some condoms on a trip in case anything “goes down” so he could be safe. 

He swore up and down that nothing happened but Emily is wondering if this is as bad as cheating and if she should just kick him to the curb.

I am dumbfounded that she believes that this is something monogamous men do while in relationships.  When is ever ok to prepare for non-monogamous activities when in a monogamous relationship?

This is what happens when women have more to bring to the table, financially, than men.

What does she have going for her that he is going out and cheating on her but still comes back home to her.  My bet is that he is staying because she is helping make that place comfortable.
This is why, sometimes, it’s best to live on your own when you’re in a newer relationship.  How many people stay in bad relationships because they don’t want to deal with the hassle of moving?  They get comfortable in their home; they wouldn’t be able to afford it without the other person so they just stay in an awful relationship.  Find a way to live by yourself or have non romantic roommates in your life, that way you won’t be a slave to a relationship that is bad for you.
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People: Holic Emily




 
BJ'S BLOG 05/02/13 "Gambling Addiction"
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read a text message we received at 77999 from a Rock-A-Holic named Kenny.

His text says he’s about to burst because he’s in big trouble and doesn’t know what to do.
A few years ago, his wife confronted him about his gambling problem and told him if he ever gambled again that she would leave with him.

He says he hasn’t been to the casino in two years but the other night, his buddies “twisted his arm” to play poker with them and Kenny actually won a couple thousand dollars.

In all honesty, this should end right here. I’m a very black and white person; he made a deal, he broke said deal and now he has to face the consequences of his actions.


He says they could really use the money to pay off some bills so he’s wondering how he should tell her, if at all.


If you’re tight on money, why would you gamble any money you do have? Yeah, you won this time, but what if you lost it all? You would have been in even more of a financial bind. That’s why your wife is going to get mad at you!  

Kenny ends his text by saying he doesn’t plan on gambling again. You didn’t plan on gambling this time either, so what will be the excuse next time? Here is the thing about addicts, their word is useless, they can only prove themselves through their actions which is what Kenny needs to do.


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BJ'S BLOG 05/01/13 "We Need A Basketball Team"
Yesterday we discussed the sad decision made to keep the Sacramento Kings in California, leaving Seattle once again without a basketball team.

It is such a shame that we to see that we have the ability to provide such a great basketball environment, yet we can’t get this to work.

Chris Hansen has been committed to put good product on the floor, we’ve see what’s happen in Oklahoma City where they developed into a great team after getting Kevin Durant, so we know that if we get a hold of a team, we can take them to the top.  The league is designed to have smart people come up with genius ideas to start up a great team!

It’s just hard to believe that they don’t think we’re worthy of a team. We had a piece of crap arena, in a congested part of town and a bad product on the floor. All those three things combined made it so that no one cared about Basketball here in Seattle for a while. 

Now we have this amazing offer for a new arena in a different location and have a city full of fans giving their support, yet we are still not being taken seriously.  

It seems like the Seattle basketball fan is in an abusive relationship with the league; we are taking a beating trying to get what we want and we’ve been getting said beating since 2008. 


I may not be the biggest basketball fan, but I’m a sports fan… and I know what bringing a basketball team to this city would do for us. It would bring us fun, excitement, comradery …it’s what the blue collar workers deserve!


 
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Locations: CaliforniaOklahoma CitySeattle
People: Kevin Durant




 


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