BJ Shea

 BJ Shea
Posts from September 2013


BJ'S BLOG 09/30-13 "Rock and Wobble"
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:   

I’m having happy issues. It’s not that I’m unhappy; it’s just that I’m not happy. I have many moments of downright giddiness, as a good friend said recently when I kidded her about drifting off into a late ‘60s or early ‘70s song, waving her hand at the sky for no apparent reason, not even drugs. She replied that “she was having a bit of a wobble." I have been known to wobble with the best of them.

This week, however, and actually for most of this month, my wobble has been a bit weak.
Now, I am sure if you are still reading this you are curious about why my wobble is off its axis. After all, I have checked out some great movies and added them, as well as some TV shows, to my list of must- see entertainment. I have also begun, in earnest, to write a book I have flirted with for at least 10 years.

In order to accomplish this viewing agenda, Chloe Cat and I have stocked up on food, hung an “Away until May” sign on the door, and are pretty much ready to become the media moguls of Rambling Harbor, observer class. Of course, most of Rambling Harbor is preparing to batten down the hatches and wait for the Montreal Express to descend. Already the leaves are leaving, and the steel gray of the North Atlantic grows darker and colder each day. So what to do? Watch movies and TV. Write blogs and talk and hope the wind chill doesn’t freeze the will.

Now, back to my wacky wobble: I find it hard to be happy right now, as push comes to shove with the government shutdown, the health care debate rages on and on, people die every day from cancer and other disease, and we send men and women to foreign countries to die—and at what ridiculous financial cost. We seem hell-bent for destruction. If we can’t kill ourselves off with poor health care, we will do it with war.

I wanted to write about happy stuff to make us all wobble wildly, but I can’t get my mind to stop thinking about the state of the world. So, now I think I’ll go relax with a calming movie—have you seen “Air Force One”?

Next week, I’ll try to ratchet up the wobble and maybe debut a new dance: A combination of Twerking and Wobbling called the “Twerkwobble.”

Meanwhile, inside the podcast, we are going to Rock and Wobble. Give a listen!

http://dbsanders.podbean.com/2013/09/30/rock-and-wobble/
 
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BJ'S BLOG 09/27/13 "Sex, a Business Transaction?"
“If you want quality work, call a professional.”
 
I think this is a pretty smart rule of thumb, America...but there’s one very specific set of “professionals” who will probably never join their local Chamber of Commerce (except in Nevada, maybe).
 
A Rock-A-Holic named Michelle has recently learned that her boyfriend – who, she admits, has a long list of spectacular traits – has “done business” with prostitutes on multiple occasions.  As you may have already guessed, Michelle is not exactly thrilled about this, and that’s what led her to Group Therapy.
 
I love it when women contact us for advice.  It reinforces my belief that we’re fair-minded when it comes to dealing out amateur psychological care to the masses. Sometimes, I do get frustrated with women who are shocked by the things that men do; it’s one thing to be genuinely innocent and naïve, but we both know that doesn’t apply to all of you, ladies.
 
Yes, I’m talking to you…and you…and you.
 
I’m not the only one who made this point, but go ahead and blame me, anyway: I don’t see a world of difference between paying a hooker, and picking up a stranger in a bar. You don’t have all the historical facts in either case, so it’s essentially the same STD crapshoot.
 
Guys really get the bad rap for their sexcapades, and I feel like I need to play defense for a minute: Is it the most terrible thing in the world for a man to drop a few dimes to have casual sex with a willing participant, without all the extra negotiation and effort that comes along with trying to find a little satisfaction in the “amateur” world?
 
Sometimes, I wonder if the argument against hookers is less about the risk, and more about the money. After all, the 100 bucks he spent for an hour of stress-free horizontal happiness could have been spent on a long, awkward first date with you…that ended with him going home alone.
 
Steve suggested that Michelle should dump her boyfriend based solely on the fact that he was dumb enough to confess to something that is far behind him. I have to show a little support for that one. Dumb move, dude.
 
 
 
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Topics: Human Interest
Locations: Nevada




 
BJ'S BLOG 09/26/13 "Friends Are Not Therapists"
I am fascinated by communication. 
 
For my money, there’s really nothing better than good conversation. I love to talk, I love to listen…and yes, I will occasionally stop talking long enough to actually listen.
 
I’m also the guy who will talk to pretty much anyone. Movie star, busboy, stripper with a wooden peg-leg, 90-year-old man passed out drunk on my lawn in a Black Widow costume – I only care if you can keep up your end of the chit-chat.
 
The best conversations happen between good friends, of course. You know each other, you have a rhythm, and the topics can range from mundane to intensely personal. If we’re close friends, you can talk to me about anything.
 
Having said all that, I need to let you know that I am sick and tired of hearing you moan and whine about your never-ending relationship problems!
 
I’m your friend, not your therapist. You know how we all have that one friend who’s always moping around and wallowing in their own misery? You know, the friend that you finally start avoiding, because you don’t want to spend an evening out with Eeyore?
 
YOU ARE THAT FRIEND. Go get some therapy. I know you’re skeptical, but it’s pretty much a scientific fact that trained therapists give better advice than the average person.
 
Plus, they have to listen to you. That’s why you pay them.
 
 
 
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BJ'S BLOG 00/25/13 "Un-engaged"
“Rockaholics helping Rockaholics” – that’s what Group Therapy is all about. It’s a sacred trust! A community of mutual assistance! An unbreakable bond; forged in love and centered on commitment…
 
Well, that last part might be slightly shaky during this particular session. Today’s “patient” is Heidi, a young woman who is engaged to her boyfriend after one year together, but feeling more than a little bit overwhelmed about the idea of marrying him. That’s not an uncommon situation, but Heidi’s reluctance goes further than a simple case of cold feet.
 
Heidi wants to call off the engagement, but she doesn’t want to end the relationship!
 
This is a difficult judgment call to make. Heidi’s boyfriend liked it, so he put a ring on it…but how will he react if she gives the ring back? Will he hit the road, or accept that his girlfriend is simply not ready for such a momentous step forward?
 
Heidi’s fellow Rockaholics shared a wide variety of reactions, ranging from “extend the engagement until you’re ready” to “Heidi has serious commitment and communication issues.”
 
You may be surprised to discover that I’m not taking the boyfriend’s side in this case. I have a sneaking suspicion that he may have jumped the gun a bit, and leaped without looking. It’s a far better thing for Heidi to be honest now, before she has a “Mrs.” in front of her name. She says that isn’t a matter of not being in love with her would-be-husband, so there’s still some great potential for this couple…if they can recover from a canceled engagement.
 
The heart wants what the heart wants. Heidi’s heart wants more time; all she can do for now is hope that her boyfriend’s heart doesn’t want to cash in the engagement ring and spend that money on home electronics. 
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Topics: Human Interest
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BJ'S BLOG 09/24/13 "Bad Words"
Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly be offended by a mass-market beverage, here comes a rude Vitamin Water bottle-top to ruin everyone’s day. Blake Loates of Edmonton, Alberta received a cap with the phrase “You Retard” – which Coca-Cola (the company that manufactures Vitamin Water) claims was an honest mistake. Coca-Cola says that some “cap quotes” for the Canadian market are half-English and half-French.
 
The dreaded “R word” means something rather mundane in French: essentially, it is defined as “late”. Loates didn’t take it that way, her outrage due in no small part to the fact that she has a sister who suffers from cerebral palsy and autism.
 
Here’s where my sympathy is challenged: The Loates family took to social media, airing their grievances, and shining a spotlight on the issues facing the younger Loates daughter as a means of identifying, and justifying, the family’s outrage.
 
Coca-Cola has apologized, but I can’t help thinking that this whole matter could have been solved without using a child with Cerebral Palsy and Autism as a poster child for your discontent. I’m not saying they have no right to be offended, but I do think that we are becoming a nation of hair-trigger outrage, and having outlets like Twitter and Facebook make it all far too easy.
 
We love our kids, and we will instinctively protect our families, but it’s always healthy to remember that not every problem requires a rallying of the local villagers. You don’t have to storm every castle with pitchforks and torches. Go to the source; find out what they’re willing to do in order to fix your problem…and THEN maybe you can riot.
 
 
 
 
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Locations: AlbertaEdmonton
People: Blake Loates




 
BJ'S BLOG 09/23/13 " Movies, Music, Mirth, and Madness"
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:

A few weeks ago, I signed up for time and space travel. No doubt you have heard that people are signing up for that trip, but the trip these space shots are signing up for is one way (yes, one way). There is no coming back. Imagine: right after liftoff, you realize you left the lights on at home. Well, not to worry; it’s obvious no one was home when they signed up for this trip, anyway.

A company called Mars One has already received thousands of applications for this one-way trip, and the average estimated travel time for the journey is 260 days. The project is estimated to cost about $6 billion to send its first crew to the Red Planet, and $4 billion for each of the following missions. The group started raising money through its application fees, which ranged from $5 to $75, depending on the applicant's country of origin, and Mars One hopes it will be able to raise funds with a reality TV show tracking the astronaut selection (yes, they are being called Astronauts). I can’t help but wonder what someone like John Glenn thinks of that, unless you spell it “Ass-tronauts”. I would watch this program just to see what kind of loose orbits want to do this.

Unlike the many people who signed up to be shot to Mars forever, my returning to earth is highly likely. How do I plan to make this trip? I have rediscovered the magic of movies (who knew there were talkies?) My good friend B.J. Shea put me up to this (yes, the B.J. some of you know—the big time hot morning jock, at www.kisw.com).

B.J. knew that, for many good reasons, I had become more of a hermit than ever and suggested that I get into watching movies again. So I signed up for Adventure. I am going to take Quantum Leaps into other people's lives and in different time periods. I am going to explore the afterlife and the paranormal, ride the fringe, and try to stop a flesh-eating virus. I will also listen to the teaching of Ram Dass and Gandhi and maybe even make friends with a dragon. The movies—what a great thing! I can sit at home and eat popcorn and chocolate-chip cookies and drink milk and go anywhere I want. The media in general makes me so angry I sometimes forget there are those out there creating great things, but I’m on a quest to discover them and their work on both the big and small screen.

One movie you may not have heard of is called “Twenty Feet from Stardom.” It’s a documentary about the great and talented people who are backup singers. I haven’t seen it yet. It’s not a blockbuster, and it was in-and-out-of-town before I could get to the theatre, but I am on the trail. There are also some TV shows that I am looking forward to seeing: one stars Michael J. Fox, and another, Robin Williams (yes, Robin Williams is back on TV).

So I’m off, and what a great way to travel, lost in the space-time continuum, suspending logic and going, if I may say so, boldly into the realms of possibility. In the podcast, I’m going to ramble on about these and other matters of music, mirth, and madness, so come on ashore.

http://dbsanders.podbean.com/2013/09/22/movies-music-mirth-and-madness/
 
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BJ'S BLOG 09/20/13 "Those Noisy Seahawks"
We’re going to have some Quiet Time during this particular blog entry, America. Inside voices only, raise your hand if you’d like to speak, and no horseplay. We’ve had a few complaints about all the noise.
 
The San Francisco Gate recently published a letter to the editor, written by “Judy and Rich”, that was truly over-the-top in its criticism of the Seattle Seahawks and their fans during home games. The authors were “’appalled” by the noise that Seattle fans like to generate, and even went so far as to compare the effects of yelling and chanting to steroid juicing.
 
That’s right: Judy and Rich believe that the sound of supportive fans created an unfair advantage for the Seahawks, to the extent that even the good judgment of the referees was affected!
 
Never fear, though. These two scientific geniuses proposed an easy fix to such an obvious problem: Give visiting teams the right to stop a game if crowd noise surpasses a set decibel level, and penalize the home team if it happens multiple times. The “penalty” they suggest? Revoking home field games for the rest of the season!
 
Dear Judy and Rich,
 
We apologize for any stress that our love of football may have caused you. If you ever return to a Seahawks home game, we hope you’ll accept a gift basket containing two pairs of noise-canceling headphones, a his-and-hers knitting set, two cups of warm milk, and specialty pillows designed to help ease the pain of being a sore loser.
 
Warmest regards,
 
The 12th Man
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Topics: Sports
Social:
Locations: Seattle




 
BJ'S BLOG 09/19/13 "My Sister Is Posing For A Porn Site!"
There’s never a dull moment in Group Therapy!
 
A faithful Rock-A-Holic named Reed texted us at 77999, looking for some family advice. Reed’s 21-year-old sister has been posing for an adult website, and big brother just isn’t sure how to handle it.
 
I think it’s safe to say that most people would never want to see a platonic friend or co-worker in their most intimate moments. When you take it into the realm of family, the discomfort and embarrassment can get notched up considerably, especially when it’s close family.
 
As a parent, I’ve always tried to prepare myself for as many tough surprises as possible. You never know what’s going to happen in your life, especially as your kids start to reach a point of independence for themselves. I went so far as to prepare myself for the possibility of a more “adult” career path for my daughter, just in case it came up…
 
…but when I was asked which would be worse for my child to reveal -- a porn career or shoplifting -- I found myself struggling to decide. Which would be more upsetting to me as a parent? My reasoning had always been based on the theory that I could handle anything that didn’t cross the line of legality. Where does that stance come from? Is it the perception that an illegal act is simply less acceptable in society than a conscious career choice in a legal field that is divided by opinions more than anything else?
 
You want your family and friends to be happy, don’t you? If they’re happy, healthy, and safe, isn’t that all that matters? Reed’s question is a tough one, and there simply isn’t an answer that applies to anyone but you. We all have to decide what we’re comfortable with in our lives, and respect the fact that the people we love are allowed to make their own decisions.
 
If that doesn’t comfort you, then perhaps taking a patriotic stance will help you find your way to some inner peace:
 
This is America, and our forefathers fought long and hard so that young women could have the right to be naked on the internet, while their stressed-out older brothers seek help from complete amateur psychologists in Group Therapy.
 
God Bless America.
(No refunds.)
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Topics: Human Interest
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BJ'S BLOG 09/18/13 "Customer Service Freakout"
 
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: We are the Yelp Generation.
 
One of the cornerstones of building a good business is having excellent word-of-mouth endorsements from happy customers. That’s a truth that goes back to the first hot dog stand outside the Roman Coliseum, and it’s never been truer than it is now, in the 21st century.
 
I love good customer service. It’s hard to find sometimes, and I am a firm believer that outstanding service should be rewarded and praised. On the flip side of that, you can be sure that reports of poor customer care will spread across the internet like wildfire. Your customers can rate you for others to see, and they will…usually with no shortage of unkind words in the comments section.
 
Is the customer always right? Is there a hard line of poor service that, once crossed, gives me the justification to completely lose my cool and rip you a new job opening?
 
We recently shared a phone call clip of a VERY angry customer coming unglued on his home security company. Clearly, this poor guy had been given the runaround, and he was definitely at the tipping point, but I think he probably lost a bit of traction when he made an obviously offhand threat of violence.
 
Here is the audio of the phone call: http://gawker.com/youve-never-heard-a-customer-service-call-meltdown-qui-1299857467
 
We’ve all been there. It’s infuriating, and I don’t know if we’ll ever win the battle. If you’d like to share your thoughts, please press 9 on your computer screen to be connected to a customer service robot. 
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Topics: Business_Finance
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BJ'S BLOG 09/17/13 "Drunk at the Seahawks Game"
 
A Rock-A-Holic named Graham came to us in need of a little Group Therapy. Before we tackle (hey!) his sports-and-girlfriend situation, I’d like to say a few words. Huddle up!
 
Let’s be honest, America: Football is not a gentleman’s game.
 
Terry Bradshaw reminded us of that fact over the weekend, when he dropped an F-Bomb on live TV, and talked about having sex with an unidentified person’s mother. Thankfully – for all involved – the name was bleeped out.
 
Whatever the outcome, we salute Mr. Bradshaw for a fine display of E.I.B. – Excellence In Broadcasting!
 
Time for Group Therapy! Graham and his girlfriend have been together for a few months now, and things are looking good. How serious is it? Season-ticket holder Graham’s special lady is now his Plus-One for Seahawks games!
 
I’m fairly certain that constitutes a common law marriage in a few states. Some might say Graham is living the dream: He’s got season tickets for great football, and a girlfriend who wants to go along. What’s the problem?
 
Graham wrote to us while his girlfriend was passed out, following an embarrassing evening of alcohol-fueled rowdiness that embarrassed Graham in front of his friends and fellow Seahawks fans.
 
It’s not that she drank to excess; the real issue was this tiny woman’s low tolerance for alcohol, and inability to control her behavior. She pestered a group of nearby 49ers fans (who weren’t causing any trouble) to the point that a fight nearly broke out!
 
Some women suffer from a condition I call the “Chippendales Effect” – they have a couple of drinks, and start feeling rowdy, but the resulting behavior isn’t natural, because they’re trying to act like men. Let me clarify: They’re trying to act the way that they THINK men act in those situations, but it’s all misdirected energy.
 
Graham is considering telling her that she can’t go with him anymore, but he’s worried that would make him a bad guy. I don’t think it would, personally. There’s nothing wrong with having a couple of drinks at the football game, and getting fired up because you’re happy to be there – but you have to know your limits, and manage your behavior. 
 
A few Rock-A-Holics chimed in (including a reformed game-drunk-girlfriend, and a bartender) and the consensus seemed to lean toward Graham putting the girlfriend on probation, and nipping the problem in the bud before it happens again. Girlfriend or no, this person is enjoying a generous opportunity, but her behavior could lead to the end of their relationship, or worse – being banned from the games for the rest of the season!
 
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People: Terry Bradshaw




 
BJ'S BLOG 09/16/13 "September"
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:
 
I live near Boston, Mass., and was 5 miles away when the Marathon bombings happened. In 1969­-1970, I watched the World Trade Towers being built from a vantage point across the street but never saw them completed and now never will.

It’s been hard to concentrate on much this past week leading up to September 11th except where we were, what we were doing... when the United States was attacked. I played this scene a few times before in my life. Where were you when John F. Kennedy was shot, when Martin Luther King, Jr., was shot, when Bobby Kennedy was shot. Where were you when the Vietnam War ended?

A lot of songs have September in the title, such as Neil Diamond’s “September Morn” (co-written with Gilbert Bécaud), Buffy Sainte-Marie’s “Sweet September Morning,” and Frank Sentra’s “September Song," and others have September in the lyrics, such as one of the great rock-and-roll hits, Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May” (co-written with Martin Quittenton), harkening back to those days of summer love when the school bells tolled us back to the classroom.

September, especially in New England and other northern states, is a transition month. The sun seems to want to go further west, barely peeking over the distant hills. The sunsets become more beautiful as the Montreal Express brings a chill to the air and leaves go from green to brown to gone.

On August 15, 1973, the U.S. military involvement in Vietnam ended. It was the first time during my life that I neither lived under the threat of war nor in a country involved in war. Born in one of the “Atomic Cities” of America just after WWII and too young to remember the short span between WWII and Korea, I watched my dad go to work to do things he never talked about. Then almost from the time I can remember, there was Vietnam coming up close and personal. On April 26, 1980, President Carter reported the use of six U.S. transport planes and eight helicopters in an unsuccessful attempt to rescue the American hostages in Iran, and ever since that date the U.S. has been at war or in a “conflict.” I had thought, or at least hoped, on that August morning when a friend woke me up to tell me the Vietnam War had ended, that war was finally over in my lifetime. Now all I can do is pray it will be over in my granddaughter’s lifetime and hope for the best.

There are many reasons for my distaste for violence of any kind in the movies or video games. To me, violence is real. I have seen it, not just on the TV or the BIG screen, but at a plant in Tennessee, at a reservation known as Wounded Knee in South Dakota, and now in the eyes of dying children in Syria.

I was never a big fan of September, and for the last 12 years I have been given more reasons to wish the month well and goodbye.

http://dbsanders.podbean.com/?p=4914989
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BJ'S BLOG 09/12/13 "Social Media Flirt "
Earlier this week, during Group Therapy, I read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Holly who was upset with her boyfriend over social media!

Her boyfriend has a lot of friends on Facebook and Instagram, and when he posts a picture, there are some girls that like to flirt with him. What is worse is that he flirts back. When Holly has confronted him about it, he says it’s harmless since people flirt in real life.

She doesn’t think it’s okay especially because it is there for everyone to see, but wanted our opinion on the subject.

Originally social media mostly catered to women and that’s how it’s been for a while.
Unfortunately we live in a society where we’ve asked men to be more sensitive, which in turn has made guys take on more feminine traits including chatting and flirting on social networks.

Personally I don’t understand what flirty comments will do for a guy; what is he getting out of this? Unless he is getting physical pleasure from these women, why would he do this and make his girlfriend uncomfortable?

I feel like either this is an example about the vaginization of men and the behaviors they have adopted because of it, or he is doing other things with these women he is not suppose to.



 
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BJ'S BLOG 09/11/13 "Honoring 9-11"
Today is the 12th anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks.

This morning when I woke up, this image hit me hard and I had to share with all of you. 


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BJ'S BLOG 09/09/13 "New Career"
Yesterday during Group Therapy, we read an email from a Rock-A-Holic named Peter who didn’t know how to handle a situation dealing with his wife.  

His wife has a high paying real estate job she is really great at but she is unhappy with it and wants to quit. She wants to pursue a career in cooking; the problem is….she’s 45-years-old. He’s worried that she might be a little too old to be starting over but wanted our advice.
 
I wish I had a little more information about the situation like if she is the breadwinner of the family but one thing is for sure; if she wants to go into cooking thinking it will be “easier” she has to think again.

If she starts going to school, she will be starting from the bottom working entry level. Once she builds up and gets the knowledge and experience she needs to work some place great, she is going to be in her 50’s at least and by then, is she really going to want to work in the chaos that is a restaurant kitchen?
 
If this is something she is truly passionate about, and it’s not just a hobby, she should go work in a not so glamorous restaurant where they will pay her crap, have set recipes she can’t play with and I guarantee that she will realize that this is not for her. What 45-year-old who has a great career with great pay wants to put up with the hassle of being the low person on the totem pole?

That’s what we do to the interns here. If they can wake up everyone morning at 3am, work hard, and still are passionate about this job, then it’s meant for them, if not, they move on to something else.
 
She needs to take a long look at her life, her family, her passions, and her financial situation before taking this leap and Peter needs to remind her of these things.
 
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BJ'S BLOG 09/09/13 "Muscat and Social Media"
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders: 



The social media, what a fascinating, fun and informative world, a place that friends stay connected or find each again after decades of separation. Suddenly, a name appears on a magic screen, and there they are just across Cyber Street waving and saying hello. I am so glad that you are here.

There are many, many lawyers to this world existing only in the minds of those that sit in front of a screen looking into a city or a small farm houses in the middle of Iowa or Nebraska. It’s like reading a book. You drift into the story, but in a cyber-world, you may be talking to a person you have never met, and a story begins to develop of where they live, what they look like, how their seasons and the weather change their lives, I can see the Kansas or Iowa corn fields that they live near, or the Gulf Cost that explodes in rage with its hurricanes. I can see winds of New England and its cold and angry oceans in winter, restlessly battering the shores. All aided by the magic of. It is truly space travel and I can go wherever I want.

What about Muscat? Have you heard the name? The first thing I thought of was the song “Muskrat Love”, but this is not muskrat its Muscat, as in Muscatel wine, Muscat is also a grape harvested through the middle east and one of the famous wines of times gone by for many of us was Muscatel.

As a blogger and pod caster I have programs through Ad Sense and my podcast host or blog host so I can tell where my hits are coming from, who is tuning in listing and reading. For example, today one report on where people had found me read; New York, Seattle, Boston, Muscat… Muscat? Where is Muscat, and how did I get here?

I got there through the magic of time and space travel. I got that through my magic cyber machine. How fascinating that someone in a region as volatile as this one, as you notice the surrounding countries. For whatever reason stumbled across my blogs and pod cast and stayed awhile (I also get length of visit reports.) I wonder if they tried to picture what I look like or what the place I live in is like. I tried doing that with them, but I have no idea what living in that region that real town of Muscat is like. However, in some way I am connected there, and that’s really cool.

I knock the media a lot, especially talking heads newsy types. I spent at this time about 50 years, in one way or another, rattling around in the halls of “Media” and I have a lot of disgruntle feeling about it. But I felt good to find and say some good things. Now I’m off to jump on 2013 cyber zoom and take a ride through space and see what I can find. Oh! And if this finds you, say hello.
http://dbsanders.podbean.com/2013/09/08/muscat-and-social-media/
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Locations: BostonIowaKansasMuscatNebraskaNew EnglandNew YorkSeattle
People: Dan Sanders




 
BJ'S BLOG 09/05/13 "Missing the Curves"
Over the years we’ve received many messages for Group Therapy and some have been about people no longer being attracted to their partners because of a weight gain. Yesterday, I think it was the first time we received an email about someone being unhappy with their wife’s weight loss!

A Rock-A-Holic named Maury wrote in explaining that when he met his wife, she was stacked! She had a big chest and booty which he loved! Now she’s just a stick to him and he’s not attracted to her anymore.  He wanted to know if and how he can tell her that he misses her curvier figure.

I’ve learned that when it comes to telling some woman that you like how they used to be or if you want them to look differently, they’re going to take offence to it.

What I’m curious about is how we’re told by some women that we shouldn’t care about their physical appearance, it’s the inside that counts yet they put in so much effort into improving their outside…no matter how much we already like their looks.

There is a chance that Maury’s wife will be offended because he is saying his not happy about her current appearance but if men are not supposed to care about the way their wives or girlfriends look, neither should they.

A few Rock-A-Holic texted in saying that maybe she did it to look attractive to other people. If you’re a married woman, purposely trying to get the attention of others is emotional cheating and is just as bad as if a man were trying to physically cheat on their partner. All that should matter is if you are putting in the effort to try to look your best for your spouse, not what everyone else thinks.  
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BJ'S BLOG 09/04/13 "Keep Quiet"
There are many ways Rock-A-Holics can get a hold of us for some Group Therapy advice and one is by texting 77999 which is what Jack did.

Last week, he explained his best friend is going to propose to his girlfriend but the problem is that Jack had slept with her before his friend and her got together. He was wondering if he should tell him or stay quiet.

In this world of sensitive new age guys, it seems like most men don’t know how to handle being in a difficult position.  

This is a very delicate situation because he does run the risk that in a heated argument, the fiancé might let it slip but let’s be honest, who really wants to hear this information?

My advice is to keep this secret to yourself and if it ever comes up and he finds out, simply say that you valued him as a true friend and didn’t want to be disrespectful or inappropriate by telling him. Even if he gets upset, at least he will know his best interest was on your mind.
 
 
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BJ'S BLOG 09/03/13 "Radioactive Tuna and Twerking"
Today's blog comes from one of my mentors, Dan Sanders:
 
I’m confused, totally befuddled you might say. Radioactive tuna were just caught off the west coast of America, there is radioactive water dripping into the ocean off the coast of Japan, and Syria is apparently going to be our next battleground because they have used chemical weapons. So we have radioactive tuna, radioactive ocean water, and chemicals that cause death blowing around in the air.
 
On the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, President Obama said Martin Luther King would be amazed at the progress we have made in the last fifty years. I’m not so sure. I think Martin Luther King would be very disappointed that opinions about the Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman incident were influenced by race instead of the facts about what took place between two men (that’s two men, not one black man and one white man).
 
I always have issues with the media even though it was home to my career for more than half my life (like a good marriage, love ya’, hate ya’, and love ya’ again). Anyway, today’s issue is with the pervasive use of “MLK.” It seems that no paper can spell out Martin Luther King. I see MLK everywhere. If “initials only” is the new trend, how about WED day--Women’s Equality Day observed on August 26th. Yep, that will go over big.
 
If all of this isn’t unsettling enough, there’s Sherri Shepherd of The View who says that Miley Cyrus is going to hell because of her controversial VMA performance. Answering Jay Leno’s question about the dance, she said, “Oh, she’s going to hell in a twerking hand-basket. That’s the thing about Miley Cyrus. You see, when I was growing up, it wasn’t called twerking. They got these cute, artistic names for it. That was called a “ ‘ho’ move.”

The general idea of twerking is not as new as some might think. 
 
Comparisons have been made with traditional African dances like the Mapouka from West Africa, which was banned from Ivory Coast television due to its suggestive nature. In the United States, twerking was introduced into hip-hop culture by way of the New Orleans bounce music scene. In 1993, DJ Jubilee recorded the dance tune "Do the Jubilee All" in which “Twerk, baby” was chanted.
 
I remember when Madonna outraged the world. That passed, and Miley’s performance will be forgotten or not matter, and so will she. But what befuddles me is we are more outraged by the dance of life than the dance of death we are doing with our food, our water, and our air.
 
In my podcast, the man who saw the UFO debris at Roswell is no longer with us, and the Oxford dictionary has been “twerked” and spell-check doesn’t know it yet. So come ashore at Rambling Harbor. Just don’t eat the fish or drink the water, and for gosh sakes, hold your breath. As the Grateful Dead might have said, keep on twerking.
 
http://dbsanders.podbean.com/2013/08/31/twerk-a-ho/

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