Yesterday on the show I talked about a recent article I read about parents forcing their children to share and if it’s actually beneficial to a child.
In this article, the writer, Michael Erard asked anthropologist David Lancy “what's going on with parents sticking their noses into situations to make sure that kids share?”
Lancy replied, "My sense from the ethnographic literature is that many societies find children's 'selfish' and 'demanding' behavior unwelcome and may take explicit steps to change their behavior—even if sharing is not a conspicuous virtue."
He then goes on to explain two forms of child-rearing, which he calls "pick when ripe" and "pick when green" models.
The article says, “In many "pick when ripe" societies, children are barely acknowledged until they're toddlers; they're just not seen as viable targets for socializing, and no explicit teaching goes on. In "pick when green" societies (such as ours), it's never too early to begin teaching them, explicitly and in earnest.”
The article goes on and give a few different examples of when parents didn’t intervene when two children were fighting for a toy and they found that the kids just wanted a little interaction or that they wanted the fun of fighting for it more than the object itself.
Other kids just didn’t care for the object and would just let it get taken by the other kid and I think that shows a big lesson in life on its own. If you really, really want something, you have to earn it. We see this with people who win the lottery; if you don’t work for something, you don’t value it because you didn’t earn it.
The phenomenon of the “Sharing Police” has really started to take over and I have a feeling that those who are guiltier of this are women.
I’ve said this before, feminism has gone too far; men are naturally territorial and you can’t breed out biological attributes. We can teach kids how to behave to the best of our abilities but at the end of the day, boys will be boys and girls will be girls. There is no way to breed out those biological attributes yet women still try.
Let your kids be themselves and learn on their own, otherwise we will raise a society of people who expect that things should be given to them because it’s “fair”.