Ryan Castle
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Ryan Castle

 


Gorge Camping Survival Tips.

Safety tips for a fun-filled weekend of camping and music at The Gorge.

Avoid dudes named Lester. Nothing good ever happened to anyone when they were hanging out with a dude named Lester.

Don’t eat the green one. Ever.

Know your limit. No one needs to deal with you naked, covered in poop and having an imaginary conversation with Jesus at 4am. Hey Ken Keasey! Tone it down. I'm trying to sleep and/or get laid.

Nobody likes this guy. If this is you I'm stealing your wallet.


Have a ticket. There will be no "miracles." The only miracle is you made it though Woodstock, Wavy Gravy. I bought my ticket. You should too.

Fires at the Gorge Campground are just dumb. It’s a big grass field. If you and your boy Cletus want to fire up some old pallets, do it in the Yakima Canyon with the rest of the riff-raff.

Know your skin exposure limit. Is a tube top really your best choice? See below.


Leave your hippy drums at home. All drum circles will be destroyed. Participating tree huggers are to be drawn and quartered.

Hacky sack? Ever been choked out?

Water. Drink it, stupid.

Beer. Drink it too, stupid.

Whiskey. See above.

See you Saturday!




 
07/28/2011 7:08AM
Gorge Camping Survival Tips.
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