If you own a car you need car insurance (in most states), if you own a home you need homeowner’s insurance, in a perfect world we’d all have health insurance, and if you want to give your spouse motive you’ll get life insurance. Insurance is one of those things most people buy because they’re obligated to, but most of us don’t insure the things that MEAN the most to us or the things that actually allow us to make a living. No one on this show has their voice insured, in spite of the fact that we TALK to earn money… and have precious few skills to do anything else. Most construction workers don’t have their hands insured, even though without them they’re probably not gonna work in the construction industry. Celebrities, on the other hand, they know who ‘brought them to the dance’, so to speak. Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu has his hair insured now that ‘Head and Shoulders’ is throwing him some cash, Gene Simmons has his tongue insured because, well, he’s Gene Frickin’ Simmons and rumor has it that Tom Jones has his chest hair insured for seven million dollars… his chest hair. It only sounds ridiculous because it IS ridiculous, but they’re erring on the side of caution. Are you? WHAT BODY PART OR POSSESSION DO YOU OWN THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE INSURED, BUT DON’T?
His “emerald green” eyes… I don’t know why, but I kinda wanna punch this guy. Seriously, I don’t know why
Her hands… she’s a barista and an artist with the dream of illustrating her own comic book. Without hands there’s a good chance that her artwork would suck s
As a phlebotomist (drawer of blood) he has his hands insured for 5 times his annual salary… said he was recommended to do so
Her ass… she won ‘best ass in Seattle’ two years in a row. She’s also a pin- up model
His Walter Jones autographed football from the ’05 Super Bowl
His one, smaller ear that happens to be deaf… he can hear out of his OTHER ear, but he wants to insure the deaf one
Her “Hello Kitty” tattoo… saw a picture and it’s pretty cool, mostly because Hello Kitty is packing a machine gun
Would insure his $12,000 prosthetic leg… pointed out that his truck is only worth $1000, so the leg is the most expensive thing he owns
His ears… he’s a drummer and needs to hear his band mates to keep a beat. On that note, you can play drums with only one arm, as Def Leppard has proven
Wants to insure his face… have no idea what he looks like, but he goes by the name “B- Money”, which sounds like a dude who would insure his face
His lungs… explained that he can do bigger bong hits than anyone he knows and THAT’S’S worth protecting
His chest… has a “cool scar” and chicks dig it
Her (.)(.)’s… she’s 49 and says that she’s been told that they look better than some women in their 20’s. We pointed out that the reason guys say that is so that they can see her boobs again. They could look like diving penguins, but if we wanna see them again (meaning; get in your pants) we’re gonna say they look like heaven- sent melons of love
His hair… wishes he’d done it BEFORE it all fell out
BLACK, WHITE, MEXI or JEW
So this particular game has become all the rage (so much so that a group of thieving f**k heads in Florida STOLE the game… seriously, some morning show stole the game… worthless a**holes) and we often mention that our radio version is the same as the board game. People keep looking for the board game, so here’s a picture of our board game. Go find it.
OK bitches, I’m out.
Until tomorrow, pick it, stick it, deny it and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”