So, you can’t sleep at night and you don’t know why. Your lack of sleep is effecting your ability to do basic day- to- day things. You’d give anything to sleep like a normal person… does that include aggression, acts of aggression, thoughts of hurting yourself and hallucinations. If so, Lunesta might be for you. Are you depressed? No one wants to be depressed, but would you trade your depression for fever, confusion, heart palpitations, uncontrollable muscle movements, sudden numbness and/ or problems with speech? If so, try Abilify. How about this; would you rather suffer from suicidal thoughts, hostility, agitation, hallucinations and/ or fainting, or deal with anxiety? If you prefer the laundry- list of issues, take Ativan… you might go f**king crazy, but you won’t be anxious. Side effects, the unfortunate aftermath of doing something beneficial, whether it’s beneficial for the mind, body or soul. Everyone enjoys food, hell, you need it to survive, but, inevitably, there’s some food you enjoy that comes back to haunt you in some way; heartburn, the sh*ts, farting, etc. A lot of people want to be famous, but one guaranteed side effect is that your personal and private life cease to exist and everything you do becomes public fodder. Maybe you’re in a band, a noble pursuit to be sure, but if you don’t “make it”, the universal side effect seems to be a great lack of money. Everything comes with a side effect and today we discussed: BASED ON WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO, WHAT SIDE EFFECT DO YOU TOLERATE?
Hell, you name it; I LOVE me a good milkshake, however, I’ll fart for the next 20 hours and finish it off with a monster sh*t. The whole process is a painful one, but I suffer through it every chance I get. Love milkshakes. I also love playing bass but I have a deep- seeded need to play very loud and very hard… the side effect is having to pay for repairs or new basses more than anyone I know or have met. I just can’t play softly… not how music moves me… but it gets expensive.
As for you:
Loves “crappy” (meaning DELICIOUS) food… the side effect is his requirement to work out religiously to avoid expanding like the Universe after the Big Bang
She has type 1 diabetes, which is easily controlled with insulin… her side effect is her inability or unwillingness to take her insulin on a regular basis
Loves, loves, loves jalapenos… 12 hours later it’s like his butt was napalmed
Allergic to grains in alcohol but gets “just drunk enough to not care about the side effects”… well played, sir
Enjoys weed and tolerates the short term memory loss… how do you KNOW you have short- term memory loss?
Enjoys Raisin Bran cereal, in spite of the fact that within 20 minutes, his ass sounds like stampeding buffalo
Because she LOVES sex, she tolerates the “D- bag” guys later… works both ways, sweetheart.
Loves playing soccer and dodge ball… side effects include bruises and pain
Gets diarrhea when he eats too much pizza… he eats a lot of pizza
Trains MMA… has had staph, MRSA, ringworm and has cold sores on his back… don’t know if he’s single, ladies
OK bitches, that’s a wrap. That kind of day… that kind of month, really, but what can you do?