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SHOW # 1390 Movember 16 2011

“Hola,

We’ve got the results of a new survey from 1000 U.S. and British online dating site members to figure out the top lies both genders tell… and it’s exactly what you’d expect; men lie about their height and their income because chicks like tall dudes who are loaded and women lie about their age and weight because dudes like young women who aren’t fat.  That’s pretty much the formula that has kept Playboy in business for decades.  For most of us in the world, the idea that people lie in the pursuit of nookie ranks up there with the news that the Sun sets in the west and that water is wet… but the Department of “Justice” is preparing to make it a FEDERAL CRIME to lie about your weight or anything else on online dating sites like Match.com or even Facebook.  To be fair, the DOJ isn’t specifically targeting online dating profiles or social networking sites, but they did very intentionally INCLUDE them.  They just have nothing better to do.  Keep in mind, this is the same DOJ that’s been selling guns directly to Mexican drug cartels, who then used those weapons to murder some of the DOJ’s own agents and then lied about it to the general public… and THAT’S perfectly legal.  Lying online to get laid, FEDERAL CRIME.  Your government at work for you!  Anyway, before the feds start locking you up for doing what everybody does in the pursuit of sex, we wanted to know:  WHAT IS THE BIGGEST STEAMING PILE OF CRAP YOU’VE EVER TOLD SOMEONE OR THAT SOMEONE HAS TOLD YOU?

Talked his way out of a drug test earlier today

Discovered a woman online whose profile said she was 28- years- old… and she WAS… the profile said she was 5 feet, 2 inches tall… and she WAS… her profile said she was 130 POUNDS… and she WAS 130 pounds… more than she said

At age 15 he was told that he would go to Hell for watching porn… if that’s true, we’ll all have a lot of company

Biggest lie they’ve ever told was that we have the best radio show in Seattle… keep lying!

Once dated a 24- year- old, single dude for a few months… oh wait, he was a 34- year- old, married father of 3… his wife told her

Knows a guy who claimed he killed bin Laden

In an effort to attend a car show, she told her boss that she had to spend the weekend in jail… it worked.  How untrustworthy do you have to look to tell your boss you have to spend a weekend in jail and they believe you, no questions asked?  I think I could probably pull it off.  I kinda look like a criminal

She lies and says she DOESN’T listen to our show because the broads where she lives are very uptight.  One of them even told her that she “caught” her 11- year- old listening to us

Has told many women that he works for DreamWorks on the production team… when that doesn’t work, he tells them he’s a part of a gold mining company operating out of Brazil

Pretended to be deaf to avoid getting his ass kicked by 4 Samoans

She said “I’m coming”… she wasn’t… guy probably didn’t care anyway

His boss wanted him to date her daughter… she was fat and awful.  Told him that if he DIDN’T have sex with her, she would call the cops and accuse him of trying to raped her

OK bitches, have some work-y things to do so I must say peace and hair grease… which would be more appropriate if I had hair… so peace and scalp wax!

Until tomorrow, there’s no taste to the crow you feed me and STAY BEAUTIFUL!”

 


Tags :  
Locations : Seattle
People : bin Laden




 
11/16/2011 6:28PM
SHOW # 1390 Movember 16 2011
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