Thrill

 


SHOW # 2317 FEBRUARY 5 2016

"Hola,

Ever have one of 'those' days? You know how it goes; you get out of bed to start your day and everything just kinda goes off the rails for no good reason. You stub your toe, your shower goes cold just as you've lathered up, you spill coffee on your lap, get splashed by passing traffic, trapped on the elevator with a smelly person, hit your funny bone, bite your tongue, sneeze with food in your mouth... and you haven't even had lunch yet.

Well, stop feeling sorry for yourself, Maggot... happens to all of us.

You COULD be this guy in Melbourne, Australia. He lost his wife. Five days later he has a memorial service at his home. Plenty of mourners came by to give their respects, but after the last one left, a surprise guest showed up... his wife.

You'd think that her husband would be ELATED to see her, but it was pretty awkward because he'd paid two hit men to kill her.

You can see how sh*t got weird, right?

Well, he inspired today's question: WHEN WERE YOU HOPING FOR A BETTER REACTION?
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Topics : Human Interest
Locations : Melbourne
People : Maggot




 

SHOW # 2315 FEBRUARY 3 2016

"Hola,

A woman in New Jersey recently found a living, 3- inch lizard in her bag of organic spinach. I felt HORRIBLE for the lizard... spinach is disgusting. Anyway, she found it, and instead of freaking out and suing (as we LOOOOOVE to do in this country) she gave the lizard (named Green Fruit Loop... seriously) to her daughter and now Green Fruit Loop is the mascot of the kindergarten class.

That led to today's question: HETHER YOU MENAT TO OR NOT, WHAT DID YOU BITE INTO?

Look, I'm just gonna cut to the quick on this one; the most vile thing we heard today involved a guy who "didn't back down". So much so, that when he was challenged to eat a piece of corn out of HIS OWN TURD, he obliged.

That is all.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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Locations : New Jersey




 

SHOW # 2314 FEBRUARY 2 2016

"Hola,

Everyone's familiar with Bradley Cooper and, if you're familiar with our feelings toward him, you know that we hate the guy. It's nothing personal and he's never done anything to us, but he's the kind of guy that makes the REST of us guys look bad. He's good looking, incredibly successful, won an Oscar, can speak fluent French AND he dates super models. Well, he dated super models up until recently. He broke up with "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit model Irina Shayk... because she didn't get along with his mother. Wouldn't be a big deal except that Bradly Cooper LIVES with his mother. Not only does he CURRENTLY live with her, but he's ALWAYS lived with her. He's 41- years- old. Yea, suddenly us guys don't look so bad. I can't fathom living with my parents, but Bradley, well, he's different. We know that everyone's living situation is different so today we asked: WHAT SHOCKED YOU ABOUT THE WAY SOMEONE ELSE LIVED?

We heard plenty of stories of hoarders and bad roommates, but the overwhelming 'shocking' thing that resonated with most people were the folks that collect cats.

It seems to be (almost) universally accepted that any individual who owns more than three cats (ONE CAT) is probably nuttier than a squirrel turd. I don't why that is (I do) but there's something about people who choose to own multitudes of these things that just rings crazy.

I used to have a cat. I didn't want the cat. I inherited the cat after a break- up (which makes no sense) and me and this son- of- a- bitch enjoyed six years together... six good years... yea, I learned to love the carnivorous ninja... but the idea of owning more than one is absolutely f**king crazy.

OK bitches, I'm outta here.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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SHOW # 2313 FEBRUARY 1 2016

"Hola,

Today is the day of the Random Question Question. And the very first question we asked was "What Did Your Parents Hope You'd Be When You Grew Up"?

As it worked out, the woman we asked (Jenn, I think) said that her parents didn't care what she did for a living as long as it wasn't the thing she had her heart set on; singing and dancing... as in doing Broadway musicals and such. She even went to New York to pursue her dream. I truly respect that drive, but I really, really, REALLY f**king hate musicals. We let her know.

We like music, we like acting, but they should remain apart in two separate worlds with regard to musicals. Sure, the Rocky theme is cool and gets you pumped up. but at no point does Rocky start singing, "gonna FLY noooooowwwww!" Because that would be stupid. So it is with musicals.

In spite of the piss and vinegar we spewed her way, we also provided the opportunity to regale us with song. She sang something from "Wicked" and, honestly, sounded talented enough.

What shocked us was that Mike Hawk actually KNEW THE SONG! Turns out that Mike is a fan of musicals. Who knew? Turns out there a lot fans of musicals out there... and they aggressively defend their horrible choice of entertainment.

I'm outta here, bitches. Have yourselves a wonderful evening.

Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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SHOW # 2312 JANUARY 29 2016

"Hola,
 
According to a new survey from Career Builder, the three most common excuses for showing up late to work are:  bad traffic, sleeping through the alarm and bad weather.  All of those are perfectly believable... but that doesn't make them true... maybe because they ARE so believable. 
 
 Then there are reasons that are SO Goddamned ridiculous that they just might be true.  Career Builder also has a list of the "weirdest" excuses, and it included the following gems:  'I set my hair on fire', 'my pet lizard needed emergency surgery... and died', 'I had to finish "My Name Is Earl" and my personal favorite, 'a Vaseline truck tipped over and cars are sliding everywhere'.   All of those are so f**king stupid that I desperately hope they're true. 
 
In New York City there's a guy who convinced his girl friend that he'd been robbed while he was out shoveling snow.   she believed him.  So did her father... and they both had nothing but glowing things to say about him to the local news stations and newspapers.   Imagine their surprise when they found out that he'd spent his time with a $40 hooker before getting in a fist fight. 
 
Sometimes you're lying, sometimes you're not, today we wanted to know:  WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO YOU?
 
There were plenty of answers today, but there was one guy who, working as a military  interpreter in the Philippines, accidentally stumbled into an exorcism.  Said that it was as weird as you'd expect an exorcism to be.   Part of the process involved biting off a chicken's head and letting it run around with blood spurting from it's neck.
 
Another guy called to let us know that HIS parents were the exact opposite of most.  They ACTUALLY took the family dog to a farm when they were kids.  The thing is, they told the kids that the dog DIED!  Only later did his mother confess that the dog DIDN'T die.   Who does that?
 
OK bitches, time to ride off into the weekend.  Enjoy yours. 
 
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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SHOW # 2311 JANUARY 28 2016

"Hola,
 
Today is the day we play Big Dummy, do No Sh*t Sherlock and a few other assorted things.  My point is that today is the toughest day for me to blog... so forgive me if it sucks.  Or don't.  Totally up to you. 
 
The hi- light of today (for us) was a visit by Uli, of Uli's Famous Sausage.  Sure, he's a cool guy and all that, but more importantly, he brought us sausage!  He's the mastermind behind the new Men's Room Original Sausage.  If you didn't hear our announcement earlier this week, Uli teamed up with us and created a (f**king delicious) sausage.  Seriously, it's DELCIOUS and you should eat the holy hell out of it.   We ate a SH*T TON of it during a commercial break.
 
OK, gotta run.
 
Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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SHOW # 2310 JANUARY 27th 2016

"Hola,
 
We've said it many times on this show, but we can't understand why anyone would ever WANT to be a cop.  In spite of what you hear on the news, MOST cops are decent people trying to do the right thing... and that's why the idea of being a cop is ridiculous.  Seems like the majority of their interactions are with drunk people, stoned people, stupid people, naked people or a combination of all of the above.
 
In Florida, police had to chase a pants-less woman into the woods after she jumped out of a pick- up truck.  In Minnesota, cops thought they'd spotted a drunk driver, based on them swerving all over the place.  He wasn't drunk, he was reading a book.  In Tacoma, a guy was running from the cops and decided to steal one of their cars to get away.   The problem was that the cop was still in the car, so the would- be suspect ended up sitting on his lap.  And in Wisconsin, the police were called after a concerned citizen called about a squirrel that was running in circles.   Seriously.  It's annoying enough that, as a cop, you have to respond to a call about a squirrel, but the worst part of the story is that responding officer ended up running over the squirrel.  Yep.
 
We asked WHY WAS A COP TALKING TO YOU?
 
I've had many run- ins with cops over my years on earth, but, as I've gotten older, my interactions are considerably fewer and far between.   I've been chased, beaten and arrested by the cops... all in my younger days.  My 2 most recent interactions involved jaywalking.   Times... they change.
 
I'm outta here, bitches.   Sick as a mothef**ker.
 
Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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Locations : FloridaMinnesotaWisconsin




 

SHOW # 2309 JANUARY 26 2016

"Hola,
 
 Good day, bitches,
 
Today we asked WHY WAS A PUCNH THROWN?  Part of the inspiration for the question was based on LA Clippers player Blake Griffin.   He was at a restaurant in Toronto when he and a 'friend' got to into an argument about who- knows- what, but it led to Blake punching this other (considerably smaller) dude in the face.  Smaller dude walks out of the restaurant, Blake follows him outside and punches him AGAIN!   For his trouble, he broke his hand and will miss MORE time the game.   He injured his quadriceps a month ago and hasn't played since. 
 
SIT AND SPIN


The Drunk in Charge, Ryan Castle, joined us today for an interesting episode of Sit and Spin.  Today I actually MEAN it... it was interesting.  Not the usual droll crap that Castle character normally brings our way.  Today he brought us his 10 favorite mash-ups.  I can't do it justice, so here are some links to what we heard today:

Sad But Superstitious
 
Stayin Alive / Back in Black
 
House of Pain vs. Queen 
 
Riders / Billy Jean 
 
Sweet Dreams / Seven Nation Army 
 
Rolling with the Tiger 
 
Snoop, Dre, Grease
 
Psychosocial Baby
 
Whole Lotta Sex Machine 
 
Monkees Maiden 
  

You're welcome.
 
I'm outta here, amigos.
 
Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
 
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Locations : Toronto
People : Billy JeanBlake GriffinRyan Castle




 

SHOW # 2108 JANUARY 25 2016

"Hola,
 
Today is the day we ask the Random Question Question... where we ask you a... wait for it... RANDOM QUESTION!   Mind blow, I know.
 
However, today, in addition to that, we gave a test run of a little something we're calling "Your Guess is as Good as Mine".   That's right, we're hoping to introduce another 'game show' to our already questionable arsenal of game shows.  This is how it came about; we are privy to (sometimes to our misfortune) all manner of surveys, research results, etc, and these things range from 'women's preferred methods of orgasm' to 'most likely places you'll bacteria on your body' to 'best cities to steal stray dogs'.
 
OK, NONE of those were real lists, but take the point.  
 
Anyway, we keep getting this crap and have been trying to figure out a way to share it with your ugly mugs in a way that doesn't suck.
 
No idea if this was that way, but it was worth a try.
 
The idea was that Miles presented our contestant (Jeff... if you care)  with a choice of one of two categories.  In this case, he picked 'the top 10 cities to be a sports fan'.  From there, he, along with us (minus Miles), tried to guess the 10 before getting three strikes. 
 
We failed.  Mostly because of Ted.  But I think it was a good game.  If you heard it, let us know what you think. 
 
 OK, I'm outta here, bitches. 
 
Until tomorrow, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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SHOW # 2307 JANUARY 22 2016

Hola,
 
There's a new survey that says that 39% of men admit that they masturbate at work to relieve stress.  Notice, the survey says that 39% of men masturBATE at work... not "HAVE masturbatED" at work... as in, it's something that happens routinely.   4 of the 10 men you work with roped the pony, tickle the pickle or flip the bishop at work.  Does that bother anyone other than me?
 
Speaking of the workplace, a celebrity chef in Slovakia, L'ubomir Herko, was caught on live tv chopping up a line of cocaine for an upcoming segment.  As a former cook, I say, "COOK ON, MY BROTHA!"  Just part of the gig... but you can't do it on live TV. 
 
So we wanted to know:  WHAT WERE YOU SURPRISED TO FIND OUT HAPPENED AT YOUR WORKPLACE?
 
 We heard plenty of stories about sex and drugs.  No doubt about it, but the two that stick with me, well, they were different.
 
The first one only bothered me because when I picture employees at a nuclear reactor facility, I picture the most professional of professionals.   I don't know why I do, but I do.  Anyway, a guy who worked at a nuclear plant told of the time he discovered  a TURD on a stairwell.  Believes it was left by a disgruntled employee.
 
By the way, "gruntled" IS  a word and it basically means 'being content'.
 
The other story I honestly can't remember now.   Seriously.  Total brain fart.   Not kidding.  Dammit. 
 
Alright bitches, I'm outta here for the weekend.  Have good one.
 
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"
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