So, the social media is all abuzz about the Time Magazine cover featuring some broad breast- feeding her kid. The thing is, the kid is three years old, so the cover looks more pedophilic than maternal, but then, that's kinda what the bruhaha is all about; 'how old is too old to breast- feed', blah, blah, blah. We don't really care. What bothers us is that while the mother is proud to be the cover- girl on a national magazine, that poor kid is gonna be ridiculed for the rest of his life. Count on it. Trust me, you don't wanna be the kid suckling his mama on a magazine cover... not at 3- years- old or older. Similarly, Alicia Silverstone's kid has a lifetime of ridicule awaiting him fo sho, as he will forever be known as the kid whose mother chewed his food FOR him and then spit it in his mouth. It's not that these mothers have done anything terrible, it's that the rest of the world found out about it. Look, maybe you were scared of the dark until you were 15 or you peed the bed until you were 12... if no one knows, no problem, but when people find out, it's gonna suck for you. Maybe you were the kid who wore homemade clothes to school, maybe you were home- schooled, maybe you went through the foster system or maybe, just maybe YOU were the kid who was breast- fed late into your childhood: WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN MOST?
Went to 9 different schools
His parents were stoners and smoked in front of him all the time
Went to the hospital for and came out "crazy"
His parents were the only ones who were divorced... that's insane... I'm the only person I know whose parents are still together. Difference is, he's from Egypt (do NOT ask him about the Pyramids) where divorce is a lot less prevalent
Didn't learn to wipe properly until he was NINE! To be fair, I just had a bad looking pair of underwear the other day. Looked like a monster truck competition took place in my pants
So we're pushing for Mono Nick from the BJ Morning Experience get the opening slot for his upcoming comedy riot. Why? Well, Nick wants to, BJ doesn't like the idea and we find that kind of thing funny, so we're instigating. Anyway, Nick came by and dropped a few of his jokes on us and I have to admit, it was funnier than I thought. He's kinda like Steven Wright... drier than desert sands, all one- liners but surprisingly funny. We don't know if this will earn him the slot, but we're hoping so.
A police officer by the name of James Britt came by today to tell us about the SPD's upcoming launch of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles... which we know as DRONES! Straight up told him that we believe the things will eventually be used for the wrong reasons (still believe that) but I believed HIM that he won't be one of those people. Either way, the little drone thing was really f**king cool. He brought it in and fired it up for us. We'll be talking to him again (and no, not from the back of a patrol car) as he agreed to be a contact for us when we have questions of legality. Cool guy and I'm always happy to make friends with a cop because, well, you know.
Alright bitches, I'm out.
Until tomorrow, pass it to the left and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"