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Father's Day is Sunday, and while most of you are preparing to shower him with a coffee mug that says "Old Fart", a t-shirt that says "World's Greatest Dad", a wacky necktie or some other piece of crap he doesn't want and never asked for, what you SHOULD give him is an APOLOGY. If there is one inherent truth to all fathers, it's that you've destroyed, broken, broken or lost something very important and/ or expensive of theirs. You probably didn't do it on PURPOSE (and that, my friend, is why your father didn't kill you), but you did it nonetheless. Sure, you didn't mean to crash their car, but you did. We're sure that when you burned down the garage with all of your father's man- toys inside, it was an accident. And hey, we get it, you didn't know who Nolan Ryan was, so when you threw the baseball with his autograph on it into a lake, we know it was an accident. And sure, you snuck some of his liquor, but you drank his Louis XIII cognac. You didn't know. We get it, we understand, we just hope your dad did. IN HONOR OF FATHER'S DAY, WHAT DID YOU DESTROY OF YOUR DAD'S?
Caught the backyard on fire right after dad had laid down new sod
Cut the heads off of his father's golf clubs so that he could use them as swords
Drilled holes into the clogged gutters in an afford to "help"... dad had to buy all new gutters
Ran over her father's 3- month- old blue heeler puppy... thing is, she was 30 when she did it... AND her 3 kids were in the car. Ah, memories
Destroyed dad's Pioneer stereo system and Bose speakers
Shot out the window of his dad's vintage car... terrible idea
Killed his dad's bird when he was drunk... not on purpose. He left his Ramen noodles on the stove, started burning and smoked out the bird
Used his dad's rare quarter collection to buy bubble gum
Tried to fertilize the lawn when his father was out of town... burned the grass "to hell"
At age 14, he totaled his dad's mint condition '67 Mustang
Dug himself a series of fox holes in the back yard... all was well until grandpa drove a tractor into one... I really hope that story was meant to be funny because I keep laughing. Douche move?
Her father was in the Bosnian War and had videotaped a lot of the 'stuff' that happened... she recorded an episode of 'Friends' over it. Nice.
Alright bitches, I'm riding off into the weekend.
Until Monday, do what you do best and STAY BEAUTIFUL!"